Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines

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1

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(BOTH PANTING)

I love you, Billy.

(ALL SCREAM)

Oh, my God.

(CRUZ SHRIEKING)

(LITA & JULIAN CHUCKLING)

Damn it, Billy. I think you broke my jaw.

You fucking deserve it,

you assholes!

Oh, are you okay, baby?

No.

Get the f*ck out of here!

What the hell are you doing

dressed like that?

For the Mountain Man Festival,

thought we'd dress up.

Yeah, where are your costumes?

What?

We don't have any.

You can't go without a costume.

It shows lack of commitment.

Can we have this conversation

after I can get dressed?

Okay. Okay.

Nice, Billy. Ha-ha-ha.

Grrr...

Nice. Assholes.

KALEEN:
This is Kaleen Webber, reporting

from the small town of Fairlake...

...which, once a year,

turns into a big town on Halloween...

...due to the 10th annual

Mountain Man Music Festival.

People from all over the country

descend upon Fairlake...

...for a weekend of music, partying and fun

at the fairgrounds just outside town.

The festival has grown over the years

to where it now rivals...

...Coachella and Lollapalooza.

But some say that its free spirit and rowdy

crowds reminds them of Burning Man...

...which has local officials concerned

on this night.

Now back to you at the studio.

Great.

KALEEN:
Here's the deal.

I'm going for a run

to get my head out of this town crap.

I'll meet you here for the live feed at 11.

And everything better be ready to go.

Go away, kid.

Ha-ha-ha.

Hurry up. We gotta get on the road.

I don't wanna be late.

All right,

give me a minute to get up first.

We heard you're the one-minute man.

(WHISTLES)

No. I assure you he has no problems

in that department.

All right. I'm starving.

I gotta make breakfast first.

Aw, come on, Billy.

BILLY:
You gotta start your day out right.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(ROCK MUSIC

PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES)

Ha, ha.

(GASPS)

Nice costume, creep.

(CACKLING)

You know what? I'm sick of this.

I'm sick of you kids partying,

making a mess and trying to scare people.

Well, you know what?

You don't scare me.

So f*ck you. Go home.

(SCREAMING)

(CACKLES)

KALEEN:
Help me! Help me, please!

Somebody help me!

Hey, hey. Over here.

Oh, please help. They're chasing me.

Follow me. This way.

(SOBBING)

Down here.

(WHIMPERING)

Okay.

Okay, I think they've gone.

Thank you.

You saved me from those maniacs.

Hey, you're bleeding pretty badly there.

Let me fix that for you.

Thank God for you.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah. Thank God for me.

Now, you keep pressure on that.

Mm-hm.

You stay here.

Okay.

I'm gonna make sure they've gone.

Okay, it's all clear. This way.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

But there's, uh...

There's just one thing I forgot.

What?

This.

(GRUNTS)

(KALEEN SCREAMS THEN GRUNTING)

Hey, give me a hand, will you?

(GRUNTS)

No, you fucking idiot.

The body.

Jesus fucking Christ.

(PLAYING DOWN-TEMPO MUSIO

Wake and bake, brother.

Thanks.

Heh. You're such a slob.

Can you try

and be a little bit cleaner for me?

What?

You look like a pig.

(SNORTS)

All right. Check it out.

I got all our party favors arranged

by date and time.

So this is cutting into my overhead.

But in honor of this weekend and Julian's

great idea for us to come out here...

...I've made an exception.

First up, some chronic,

which you're participating in.

And then some X

for when we go trick or treating...

...and some shrooms

for when the bands start playing. Oh.

You've been out of school

for two semesters.

What do your parents think?

Oh, no. They don't know shit.

And I wanna keep it that way.

Ah, besides, you know,

I'm a budding entrepreneur.

Why did we have to come

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