Without A Clue

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(Clock chimes)

..

a quick tunnel job and up the stairs,

as pretty as you please.

(Glass shatters)

That's worth over ?10,000.

- We're going to be rich

- Not this time, gentlemen.

Sherlock Holmes!

Watson?

Right you are, Holmes.

Run, Archie. Run or we'll swing for it!

Don't let those ruffians escape.

I am inspector Lestrade. You are under...

There's no escape, my friend.

This will be a pleasure.

- Well done, Watson.

- Are you all right, Holmes?

Quite, which is more than I can say

for John Clay,

one of London's least notorious thieves.

inspector, I have your man.

Come on, sonny.

Well, Mr. Holmes...

..I don't know how, but you've done it again.

Thank you, inspector.

That's high praise indeed,

coming from such a workmanlike detective.

And now, if you have nothing further to add,

I hereby declare this case...closed.

POLICEMAN:

Good We've got kippers for breakfast

Just a minute.

(Door closes)

- You idiot!

- What?

Confound you!

What did l...? What did l...? What did I say?

Watson, what did l say wrong?

I did everything you said, exactly as you said it.

HOLMES:
All right, what did I do?

You're not going to tell me, are you?

All right. You want to know what's wrong?

- Well, I said I did, didn't I?

- I'll tell you what's wrong.

- Don't declare a case is closed...

- Just a minute, Watson.

- My public awaits.

- until I say...

..it's closed.

- Morning, gentlemen.

- Morning, Mr. Holmes.

Sir, how did you know

somebody was tunneling

into the Royal Gallery?

That was very interesting.

There was fresh dirt in the building next door.

Um, fresh dirt...

Would you like to elaborate on that, sir?

It was an elementary deduction

based on the clues at hand.

But didn't Scotland Yard

see the very same clues?

- I see AND observe.

- Isnt that rather redundant?

Describe the front of this building.

Without looking

describe the front of this house

- Well, it's brick.

- Yes.

- It's got...black railings, I think.

- That's right.

And... And windows.

How many windows?

How many?

I don't know.

Quite so. He sees, but he does not observe,

whereas I see AND observe and thus

bring many notorious blackguards to justice.

Hear, hear, sir!

Did I put that reporter in his place?

Just for the record...

..how many windows are there

in the front of this building?

I haven't the foggiest idea.

There are fifteen windows, you fool!

Fifteen!

Yes.

(Starts humming)

Not only that...

Not only that,

but the reporter you just embarrassed,

he knows how to type.

He's somewhat near-sighted

and recently returned from a holiday.

And how do you know that, Watson?

Elementary. From the creases on his wrists

- where a typist presses against the table.

- Watson, do you think

this is a good likeness of me?

Wonderful story, by the way,

but on page two you have me

- admitting a mistake.

- A writer must write of which he knows.

Oh, do you think that's really necessary?

I mean, tarnishing the image, and all that.

Hello!

What have we here?

Something's afoot.

How many times have I told you

to stay away from my experiments?

Something wrong?

I seem to spend an increasing amount

of my precious time

correcting your blunders,

both private and public.

Oh, I see. Its the Clay case.

Are you still in a snit over that?

- if you want my opinion...

- I beg your pardon? Opinion, did you say?

Oh, my God. Not that speech again.

May I remind you, for your information, sir,

- that your opinions are my opinions.

- Oh piffle!

I created the character of Sherlock Holmes,

and hired you merely to play the part,

snatching you, as it were, from the gutter.

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