Wife Vs. Secretary
- Year:
- 1936
- 100 Views
- Good morning, Patrick.
- You said it, Mendel.
You haven't wakened Mr. Simpson, yet?
Their breakfast's on the hot plate.
Come in.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson.
- Taggart, you're late.
- I know, Mr. Simpson. My alarm clock.
- Get a new one.
You might have known
I'd have a full day today.
- Who won the boxing match, last night?
- Rosenblatt, in the third round.
Oh, what a pity.
Now I owe Finney $3.
Come in.
- I'm very sorry, Mr. Stanhope.
- Simpson, you're late.
Yes, sir.
Most careless of me,
and on the first morning
- after your vacation, too.
- Oh, forget it.
- Say, who won the fight?
- Rosenblatt, in the third round.
He did? I owe Finney a night off.
Well, with your night off and my $3,
Finney should do very well, sir.
You, too, eh?
- Maybe we should get rid of Finney.
- The paper, sir?
Oh, yes. Now, what about the trout?
Do we have them for breakfast?
Yes, sir. They're all prepared,
just as you ordered, sir. And we...
Walls have ear trumpets.
- Who do you think this is?
- Simpson.
No.
Try again.
Finney?
No!
Try again.
I give up.
- Surprised?
- A husband.
- Yes.
- How nice.
How did you sleep
after that man disappeared?
- Deep, deep, deep.
- He hated to go.
I don't remember him being asked to go.
Didn't you hear him chanting,
as he went out the door?
Chanting?
Thank you for a lovely evening
My friends!
- And I caught every one of them.
- You did not.
That big one's mine.
I caught him on a Parmacheene Belle,
and you know it.
I do not. He's mine.
I caught him on a Professor.
I remember taking that Professor
out of my hat and saying,
"Prof, old boy,
if you don't come through..."
Jake, he's mine.
Remember, I changed from
a Silver Donkey to a Parmacheene.
Yes, yes, I guess you're right.
Parmacheene did it.
- You through with your orange juice?
- Yes.
Oh, he's too much.
Well, you claimed him, you eat him.
Stop the beefing.
Well, I guess I can at that.
Jake, what day is today?
Monday, November 8th.
I'm having some people in tonight,
so don't be late.
Don't you want to know who they are?
Whom are you having in?
The Merritts, the Carstairs, Raoul
- and Battleship.
- Did you hear?
Battleship took the count
in the third last night.
- Rosenblatt got in a lucky punch, I guess.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
But he wouldn't miss one of your parties.
- Then there'll be Vivian and Sylvia...
- Hey, that's quite a party. What's the idea?
Jake, don't you know what day this is?
- Oh, it's our wedding anniversary.
- Yes, darling.
Seems like only yesterday, doesn't it?
You better eat that fish
while it's got a fever.
Jake.
All right.
Jake.
Darling!
Don't you ever ask me to go whale fishing.
Well, before I look again...
Hey, hey, stop.
Stop, please. I'll go quietly, Officer.
I don't know a thing about it.
No, no, I was just standing here...
Did you tell Mr. Stanhope
that Finney is waiting with the car?
Yes, but she's sitting on his lap,
and he hasn't even touched his trout yet.
Whether Mr. Stanhope
touches his trout or not,
- is no concern of yours.
- I know...
Ellen, as you may have gathered,
this is Mr. Stanhope.
- Hello, Ellen. Welcome to the institution.
- Thank you, sir.
What's to prevent me
from thinking about you all day?
- Wild horses.
- What?
- Glad to be home?
- Sure, I am.
Say, that Ellen's a cute dish.
Yes. I'll fix it up for you.
Fat chance, with this one in the building.
Bye.
Good morning, Mr. Stanhope.
Glad to see you back.
Glad to be back, Sam.
Good morning, Mr. Stanhope.
Glad to see you back.
Good morning, Mr...
No, no, no, don't tell me, don't tell me.
Blakely, Blakely.
- Bakewell.
- Bakewell. Well, that's close.
I'm glad to be back, thank you.
Good morning, V.S.
Golly, I'm glad to see you back.
Hello, Joe. Glad to be back.
- Good morning, Miss Spence.
- Good morning.
Good morning. Glad to be back.
- Oh, good morning, Mr. Stanhope.
- Good morning, Mary.
That's about right.
Hand me the hammer, Mary.
Why a man would keep such
a horrible picture of himself is beyond me.
Maybe I've been with him too long,
but he must be better-looking than that.
I think you're right, Whitey.
It doesn't do me justice.
- V.S.
- The nose isn't exactly brought out.
Oh, I'm sorry, V.S.,
I thought you were Mary.
How are you, Whitey?
- You been behaving yourself?
- Why, certainly.
Cross your heart?
Have you been true to me?
Well, twice.
My, how tanned you've gotten, V.S.
I didn't allow for that in the color scheme.
I'm afraid we'll have to change
the office again.
- Whitey, it's great.
- Do you really like it?
I don't see how you did it.
- Well, I spent $806.
- What?
Why, you're Michelangelo, Whitey.
That's who you are, Mike M. Angelo.
That's paint. They just finished
the woodwork this morning.
- Oh, is it still wet?
- Yes, it is.
No, I don't think so.
No, it must be dry by now.
Nope, it's still wet.
How many things have piled up, Whitey?
About a million, eh?
- Almost.
- You know what we're going to do?
Have an old-fashioned board meeting,
all day long.
Knock down, drag out.
Clean up everything in five or six hours.
- Good idea, eh?
- Yes, V.S.
Mr. Williams and Mr. Trent
may come in now.
- Call the staff for a meeting at 3:00.
- I thought you'd want it for 11:00.
- You mean, you've arranged it for 11:00.
- Yes, V.S.
Come in.
- Hello, Harry.
- Hello, V.S.
- How are you, Ned?
- Oh, you're looking great, V.S.
Well, all the trout can breathe easy
for another year, huh, V. S?
All that's left. What's this?
That's Hoppy's cover
for the January boudoir.
Now, it needs your rush
okay for that new color process.
That's nice. Very effective.
Hoppy must be staying sober again.
I'll be interested to see the plates.
- All right, thanks, V.S.
- All right.
Here's the January Mayfair dummy.
All right for page proofs?
Say, Alice has written
a very nice article here, Ned.
Let's give it a double spread,
and move it up front right after Topics.
January's the height of the deb season,
and the little darlings might be interested.
Otherwise, it's a swell book
you always put out.
- Thank you, V.S., I like that idea.
- All right.
If we're meeting at 11:00,
get me the quarterly space sales.
Yes, V.S.
Oh, and by the way, Mr. Farnsworth
has a grand new idea to solicit,
the Dolly Dane Lipstick account.
"Stop!
"Do you know what is happening to you?"
In Old English type.
"Where does your lipstick go
when it is gone?
"Does it evaporate? No."
New paragraph.
"There is no nourishment in paint.
Use Stick on the Lip Lipstick!"
Exclamation mark.
"50 cents
in the United States and Canada."
- That's not bad, Joe. I like it.
- Thanks, V.S.
- What are you using for art?
- Well, I think I've something very effective.
- It's a David Bucknall.
- I don't know.
Well, we can hardly improve
on Bucknall, V.S.
Well, the picture's all right as a picture,
but I'm just wondering
if it tells the story we want.
Frankly, V.S.,
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Wife Vs. Secretary" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 11 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/wife_vs._secretary_23457>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In