Who Made The Potatoe Salad?

Synopsis: An urban romantic comedy about a young San Diego policeman who travels to Los Angeles with his fiancée to meet her dysfunctional family and announce their engagement.
90 min

Ocean five, ocean five,

be advised, your suspects are close by.

Multiple warning.

Dispatch, requesting

code one. Suspects exit the vehicle,

Officer Jones in pursuit.

South on 14th approaching Linda Vista.

Ocean seven,

Ocean seven, officer needs assistance.

Code 1 proceed at five. South Linda Vista.

I'm gonna get you, dawg.

I'm gonna get you, dawg!

You're just making it worse on yourself!

I'm gonna get you!

Gonna bury your ass right into jail.

Don't fight it. Don't fight it.

See, now I gotta hurt you.

Now I gotta put it on you.

Fat bastard, here we go.

I got you now.

I do this four times a week.

I do this in the morning.

I do it before I go to sleep.

Put your hands behind your back.

You done.

- What?

- Sh*t.

Yeah, right. Whatever.

All that Billy Blanks ain't gonna work.

Ain't no Tae Bo gonna save you.

I got police training, right.

- Oh, sh*t!

- Oh, sh*t!

Y'all get over here.

Can't y'all help somebody...

Y'all see what's going on with a brother?

Do a citizen thing.

Can't get my cuffs.

Get your hands out of my pocket!

Look what you did to my drawers!

What, you a freak or something, yo?

Are you serious?

Give me my pants, man.

Give me my pants.

Backup! Backup!


- Hey! Hey, fool!

- Hey, f*** you.

What you gonna do?

What you really gonna do?

In his drawers? I'm clowning.

I'm gonna get the job done.

I'm gonna do what I gotta do.

We apprehended the suspect,

and he is in county,

waiting on a date right now.

"An officer was found

"in his drawers, handcuffed

to the jungle gym, in his own handcuffs."

Yup. But you see,

that was a diversion, okay?

So my fellow officers could move in

with the least amount of resistance.

- Back at you.

- Yeah.

It seems you often use

that exact same tactic.

I'm gonna do whatever I have to do

to make the arrest.

I mean, I don't care

if I have to use chewing-gum wrapper,

to slip past intricate alarm systems,

to bust up a stolen car ring.

- That's what I'm gonna do.

- Bullshit.

- That's what you are.

- When was your last collar?

My last collar was...

- When was your last collar?

- Guys! Guys!

- Tonight is the big night, right?

- Oh, yeah, yeah. Tonight is.

Yes, it is. Tonight,

I make my Ashley an honest woman.

You mean, now she can finally tell

how funny-looking you are.


What is with y'all?

You're supposed to be happy for a brother.

We are, man. I mean, I am.

We are happy for you.

We're just sad for her.

Suck my dick.

Anyway, dawg,

so where you gonna propose at?

You know what I mean?

You gonna take her to the beach...

Check it out, write it down.

Wait until sunset,

propose when the sun is like

over the horizon, you know what I mean?

It's romantic and it's quiet

and it's just like you and her.

You know what I mean?

The sand and all that beautiful...

- Dude.

- Sorry.

Sorry, I was just reminiscing.

That's how I proposed to my second wife.

She was a fat-ass, though.

She looked nothing like Ashley.

That's a fine piece of ass. Bang it on me.

You got one more time. One more time.

But seriously,

I got a proposal that's so hot,

I'm about to sweep this woman

right off her feet.

Are you okay?

These are for you.

- You look wonderful.

- Thank you.

- What are you doing?

- I'm doing the right thing.

We've known each other

for about a year now, Ashley,

I can't imagine my life before you,

and I definitely don't want

to imagine my life without you.

You complete me, baby.

I'm just kidding.

I was watching cable last night.

I knew I'd get you with that one.

No, but seriously, seriously.

I love you with all my heart.

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Coke Daniels

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Who Made The Potatoe Salad?" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 25 Mar. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/who_made_the_potatoe_salad_23422>.

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