ON A "MAROON CARTOON"
Accompanied by zany CARTOON MUSIC, the TITLE CARD reads:
MAROON CARTOONS PRESENT
BABY HERMAN AND ROGER RABBIT
Below are two cameos of the cartoon's stars. One picture is
of a cherubic baby in a bonnet innocently posed with his
thumb in his mouth. The other is of a paunchy rabbit with a
gap between his front teeth. He has a loveable, if slightly
shell-shocked look. The cartoon begins...
BABY HERMAN AND ROGER RABBIT
are in a playpen when TWO FEMALE LEGS in high heels walk INTO
FRAME. The VOICE belonging to the legs talks down to Baby
Herman in a maternal coo.
Mommy's going to the beauty parlor,
darling. But I'm leaving you with your
favorite friend, Roger. He's going to
take very, very good care of you...
... cause if he doesn't, he's going
back to the science lab!
Roger gulps as he watches the legs disappear. We HEAR
FOOTSTEPS recede and a DOOR SLAM. Roger turns confidently
back to his charge. But the little tyke is already squeezing
through the playpen bars.
Roger makes a dive for him, misses, and gets his head stuck
between the bars. He pleads with the Baby in a voice that
resonates of Huntz Hall in "The Bowery Boys".
Hey, come back! You heard what your
ignores Roger. We FOLLOW HIM as he crawls into the kitchen.
He stops to regard something that has caught his attention...
a cookie jar. It's sitting on top of the refrigerator.
wearing the playpen like a pillory, comes running toward the
kitchen. But the playpen is too wide to clear the door. The
impact SHATTERING the playpen and sends Roger sprawling
across the kitchen floor. When he looks up...
is swinging precariously on the door of the freeer.
Hang on, Baby. I'll save you!
Roger makes a desperate leap across the kitchen for the kid.
But Baby Herman swings the door to the freezer open and Roger
disappears inside. Baby Herman grabs a cookie and swings
back, shutting the door. He climbs down and crawls out of
the kitchen. After a beat, the freezer door opens.
now shaped like a block of ice, falls out and hits the floor.
The block SHATTERS into ice cubes. Roger looks around,
has taken this opportunity to crawl out the window. Roger
races to the window. His eyes pop out of his head at what he
Baby Herman is crawling along the sidewalk under the shadow
of a safe being hoisted into a second floor window by the
Acme Safe Moving Company. The rope holding the safe is
fraying down to a slender thread.
gasps and rockets out the window toward Baby Herman. The
rope snaps. The safe falls. Roger arrives just in time to
pluck the Baby out of harm's way. But not in time to save
himself. The safe CRUNCHES down on his head, burying Roger
into the sidewalk. After a beat, Roger's hand appears and
spins the tumbler. The safe door opens. Inside, we see the
dazed rabbit with little TWEETING BIRDS circling his head.
Cut, cut, cut!
The cartoon action stops abruptly, but the goofy CARTOON
MUSIC PLAYS ON. We begin a slow PULL BACK TO REVEAL that
this cartoon is being filmed LIVE ON A SOUND STAGE. The
title card sits on an easle. The female legs are paper
mache' props manipulated by two HUMAN CREW MEMBERS. Wearily,
they lean the legs up against the stage wall. A human
DIRECTOR, wearing a tweed jacket and baggy pleated pants,
steps onto the set. From the equipment and the dress of the
crew, we can tell it's the 1940's. Baby Herman throws his
cookie down in disgust. He talks in a gravelly voice an
octave lower than Wallace Beery's.