Who Done It?

Synopsis: The stooges are private detectives looking for a missing millionaire. They wander around the millionaire's spooky mansion confronting various crooks and a dangerous dame. The stooges ...
Genre: Comedy, Short
16 min

Ah, there's grim news tonight.

Once more the Phantom Gang has struck,

and terror stalks through the city.

Another prominent

citizen has disappeared,

and men are asking

who will be next.

- Don't do that!

- But, sir, I'm worried.

You may be next.

Me? Oh, no, no, nonsense.

There's nothing to worry about.

I'm not worried.

I'm not, not, not...

Where are those detectives?

They promised to be here an hour ago.

"You will be next".

Operator, operator, get me

the Alert Detective Agency.

How should I know the number?

The Alert Detective Agency.

- Help me with this.

- OK.

What's the matter, boys?

Yeah, we've been robbed.

Hey, we gotta get going!

What does your watch say?

Don't say nothing. You gotta look at it.

Get outta here. Answer the phone.

I'll answer it when I'm ready.


I'm ready.

Hello. Oh, yes, Mr. Goodrich.

I'm sorry. We were tied up.

He means we were detained.

We're on our way, though.

That's fine. Thanks. Good-bye.

I feel a lot safer already.

Very neatly done, Nicco. Take him away.

But, sir, Mr. Goodrich phoned.

The detectives are on their way.

Detectives... That's not good.

Don't worry, my sweet.

They won't stay long.

Sleeping pills. The permanent kind.

Stand where you are! We're detectives.

What's going on around here?

- Search the suspect!

- Suspect?

The butler's always a suspect!

Hold it for a still.

- Good.

- OK.

- I think he moved.

- Wait a minute.

- What did you find?

- Only this.

Why you...!

- Hold it.

- Your watch.

Would you step in here, please?

Boy, what a creepy-looking joint.

Swell place for a murder.

- Cut that out.

- Don't talk like that.

Nothing's gonna

happen. Absolutely!

Come on.

He's right. What could happen?

I guess I'm just the

nervous type, I guess.


- Oh. Hello.

- Hello.

We're detectives. Mr.

Goodrich sent for us.

Oh? I'm his niece.

The niece is nice.

Hold on! We're here on business.

I mean business.

Wait a minute. Why, you...!

Hold it. You know what this means.

You can't give it to me.

Oh, the glass. I'm framed.

I'm afraid something

dreadful has happened.

- Uncle has disappeared.

- No!

He was sitting right over there.

Suddenly I heard a scream!

- Let go of me, will you?

- Then he was gone.

Well, don't worry.

We'll take care of everything.

We'll find fingerprints!

Get the camera ready! Come on, eagle.

Get busy.

What's the matter?

Nothing. Get that letter.

- Which one?

- That one!

Come on over and look for fingerprints.

Oh, look at that.

He's got that pollen

about the dreadnought,

but I'll fix that.

Stop down a quarter of a mile.

That's about right.

Somebody left some hypo in there.

Oh! Highly polished mahogany.

And termites!

With big blue eyes!

Get outta here.


Ready with the camera!

Right. Ready with the camera.

Coming right up.


Cut it out.

The fingerprints.

Attend the business!

No! Moe, Larry, help!

There was an ugly-looking

thing staring right at me.

It was horrible.

What do you know? It was you.

You imbecile, we're

getting no place fast.

May I make a suggestion?

- Yeah.

- Sure, sure.

Why not separate and search the place?

What an idea.

- Brilliant.

- Why, certainly.

One of you come with me.

- Yes.

- Come here.

Wait a minute. I heard

what the lady said.

Come on.

Leave us leave, my sweet.

Don't you raise your hand on me.

Now don't you go get

yourselves murdered.

- Oh, don't worry about us.

- Murdered?

Turn me loose! Like I told Shemp

there's nothing to be

afraid of. Not a thing.

- Of course not.

- And spread out!

Okay, I'm raring to go.

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Edward Bernds

Edward Bernds (July 12, 1905 – May 20, 2000) was an American screenwriter and director, born in Chicago, Illinois. more…

All Edward Bernds scripts | Edward Bernds Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Who Done It?" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 12 Jul 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/who_done_it%3F_23413>.

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