White Men Can't Jump

Synopsis: Billy and Sydney think they're the best basketball hustlers in town, so when they join forces, nothing can stop them, except each other. To add to their problems, Billy owes money and is being chased by a pair of gangster types.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Sport
Director(s): Ron Shelton
Production: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
  4 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
115 min

You keep asking me

what I am.

Don't you know

I'm Presbyterian?


That's the worst thing

a jazz singer can be.

Presbyterians are called

God's frozen people.

Wouldn't swing

if you hung them.

Just a closer

walk with Thee

De de de

boom boom

Grant it, Jesus

if you please

Boom de boom

boom boom

Daily walkin'

close with Thee

Let it be, dear Lord

Let it be

I am weak

but Thou art strong

Jesus, keep us

from all wrong

I'll be satisfied

as long

As I walk

Let me walk

close to Thee

Just a closer

walk with Thee

Say, grant it

Jesus, if you please

Daily walkin'

close with Thee

Let it be

dear Lord

Let it be

Say, I am weak

but Thou art strong

Jesus, keep us

from all wrong

I'll be satisfied

as long

As I walk, dear Lord

close to Thee

Boo boo doo

boo doo doo

...A closer walk

with Thee

Buh do doobie

Grant it, Jesus,

if you please


Buh doobie do

Daily walkin'

close with Thee

Let it be

Dear Lord

Doobie doobie

doobie doobie

Let it be

Ba doo la

do da da

Boo doo doo

doo dee aaah

Ha ha!


Oh, yeah!

Hey, guys, is this

the Venice Beach courts?

You haven't put anything

in the offering plate.

Oh! Sorry, man.

50 be all right?

I'm just kidding.

Here you go.

I told you

he's generous.

Is this where

Eddie "The King" Faroo

and Duck Johnson played?

King and Duck

were the best.

That's 'cause

you never saw me.

Keep singing, guys.

My old man

was a preacher.

I love this sh*t.

He put a dollar in.

We give him

a dollar's worth.

Oooh, ooh, ooh

Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh,

ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

All right!

Don't worry

about it.

Pass it to

the little man.

Let the little man

get the ball.

Take it

to the hole, man!

Let's go!

Get... get... get up!

Look at that.

It's all right.

Walter, throw that

big fat butt at me.

I'm getting tired

of making you look bad.

It's hard work.

I'm fittin'

to dog you, punk.

I'm fitting

to dog you.

Let me shut him up.

Give me the ball!

If you shoot it,

I'll knock it out

the f***ing sky.

Can't take it

to the hole

because you ain't

good enough.

You think so?

Get some of this.


You can't

even dribble!

Bring it! Bring it!

Get that sh*t

out of here!

Ooh! Ooh!

Oh! Unh!

That sh*t went out

like a Scud missile!

Oh, it hurts!

It hurts so bad!

Hey, babies, I don't

mean to brag,

but I'm

the greatest!

I am the greatest!

You all right, man?



get your butt up.

Take your Colt-45

drinkin' ass off someplace.


Yes, Walter!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Hard goddamn work,

making you look so bad.

Man, you fouled me!


Just take the ball out

and shut up.

What's the count?

9-8, us.

Get the f***

out of here!


if you could count,

you'd be

a f***ing astronaut.

George, your mother's

an astronaut.

He talked about

your mama, man.

He playing you

for a punk.

I wouldn't

take it, man.

My mother

ain't no astronaut.

Say it! Say it!

Your mother

ain't no astronaut,

your father

ain't no astronaut.

Well, my mama

ain't no astronaut.

Jump his ass, man.

Me saying that

your mother's an astronaut

is just another

way of saying

that you're

all f***ed-up.

Well, let's just

get off mamas,

'cause I just

got off yours.


Keep my mama out

of this, brother.

She's out.


She's out.


She's out.

What time you want me

to bring the b*tch back?

Yo! What's the score?

9-8, us.

We can't lose to you!

If we lose to you,

I'm gonna kill myself.

F*** you,

skinny boy!

F*** this,

you potato-sandwich-eatin' motherf***er!

F*** this!

Shut up!

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Ron Shelton

Ron Shelton (September 15, 1945 in Whittier, California) is an American Oscar-nominated film director and screenwriter. Shelton is known for the many films he has made about sports. more…

All Ron Shelton scripts | Ron Shelton Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "White Men Can't Jump" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 31 Mar. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/white_men_can't_jump_23393>.

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