Where's the Money

Synopsis: A quick witted young man from the streets of South Central must rush a lily-white USC fraternity to recover a stash of stolen money.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Scott Zabielski
Production: Rivers Edge Films
86 min

Listen, la, la,

big city of dreams, baby.

You got Hollywood,

bel air,

silicon beach,

and Beverly hills, right?

Four of the wealthiest

neighborhoods in the country.

And then...

There's south central.

Now be honest,

all right,

when you hear the words

"south central,"

what do you think,

gangs, drugs, guns?

Well, then,

what the hell

are all these rich white people

doing here, hmm?!

You see, six blocks from one

of the most expensive colleges

in the country sits one

of the poorest neighborhoods

in the country.

And that's

where your boy grew up.

We got a family business.

More emphasis

on "family" than "business. "

'Cause we always broke.

20 years ago,

my dad and uncle

started this gym

to keep kids out of gangs

and off the streets,

give them

some positive role models.

Then they got locked up

for bank robbery.

I believe

they call that irony.

That left me and my moms

to run this place on our own.

She done a whole lot of good

for this community,

but doing good don't really

pay the bills,

you know what I'm saying,

and the bank's about

to shut us down.

Over the years we kept

the doors open

with endless side hustles,

and that's where my boy

juice comes in.

We've been best boys

since I was a little jit.

Now juice?

He the plug.

You need anything,

he can get it.

Just don't ask him how.

Why you laughing?

Why you laughing?

But luckily

my girlfriend Alicia

has always been there

to get us back on track.

I mean, she don't know

she's my girlfriend yet.

She got a serious crush on me.

Like, serious crush.

She say she waiting

for a real man,

but if that's not me,

then why she been flirting

so hard?

Look at her!

Look how she looking at me!

Zoom in.

Come on, you see that, right?

So that's life in the hood.

I mean,

we don't have much,

but if I can keep

those gym doors open,

I can keep my little family

together, and really,

that's what it's all about.

Nah! I'm just f***ing with you.

It's about

them dead presidents, y'all!

Get it!

I'm gonna kick your ass

so hard,

you're gonna be able

to give yourself a rim job.

You really wanna

go out like that?

South central, baby.

Yeah, think about it.

It's no game.

You in it right now.

- Let's go.

- I'm crazy.

I'm crazy! I'm crazy!

You will die today!

Now I apologize

for the language, y'all,

but this is the kind

of tough talk

you're gonna hear out

in these streets.

Now of course I could teach

y'all how to fight.

Give 'em a little one,

two, three, four.

But what's that gonna solve?

What I'm uniquely qualified

to teach y'all

is that sometimes your best

weapons are your words.

We're gonna put these down

and pick this up.


This is the mma class.

So stop being a little b*tch

and let's fight.

Oh, okay, look at this guy.

Little hyped up.

Tone it down a notch.

That's great.

I see what you're doing.

Nothing he says

can provoke me

because I am de-escalating

the situation.

I never thought I'd get

this close to a vagina

- until I was at least ten.

- -What's a vagina?

Look, I'm gonna tell you

one time and one time only.

You gonna sit your little ass

in that corner,

and I'm gonna count to three.

- One.

- - Three!

Whoo! Punched my dick!

Okay, listen!


What you-

time out, okay?!

What's up?!

This is my class!

I command y'all to sit down!

Sit down and listen to me!

- What about with my deep voice?!

- Hey!

Oh, that was an accident. Y'all

saw it was an accident, right?

You, you, you.

You look like you know cpr.

Come on, white girl,

go ahead, do some magic.

Go, go, go, check his pulse.

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Ted Sperling

Ted Sperling is a musical director, conductor, orchestrator, arranger, stage director and musician, primarily for the stage and concerts. He won the Tony Award for Best Orchestrations and the Drama Desk Award, Outstanding Orchestrations, for his work in The Light in the Piazza in 2005. He is the Artistic Director of MasterVoices, formerly the Collegiate Chorale. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Where's the Money" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 13 May 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/where's_the_money_23354>.

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