What We Did on Our Holiday

Synopsis: Doug and Abi take their kids on a family vacation. Surrounded by relatives, the kids innocently reveal the ins and outs of their family life and many intimate details about their parents. It's soon clear that when it comes to keeping a big secret under wraps from the rest of the family, their children are their biggest liability... Find out how the rest of the family cope and see if the holiday will ever end.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Production: Lionsgate Films
  1 win & 3 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
95 min

Mickey, have a pee before you go!

In the toilet this time!

Mickey! Move!

- Don't sit on the back of the sofa.

- What? Whoa! Ow!

Time to get a move on, OK?

Scottish Granddad and his puppies

are waiting for us.

Let me take this, let me...

Oh! Jeez, what the...

Oh, for f... What's that?

That's Eric.

- Eric?

- Yes.

He wants to come

to Scotland with us, too.

Thing is, Eric's a wee bit heavy, and...

Hang on, there's a... What's this?

- That's Norman.

- That's... half a breeze block.

- How did you even pick that up?

- I can't sleep without Norman.

You sleep with... with this in your bed?

No, that would be stupid!

He goes at the bottom of my bed

to make sure the bad ones

don't come in.

- So there's bad stones and good stones?

- Yeah. Like in real life.


That's our car alarm!

Oh, for God's sake!

For Odin!

Bloody thing.

Bugger off.

No, I'm sorry, darling,

we can't take Norman to Scotland.

- Or Eric.

- Right, then I'm gonna hold my breath.

No, no, no. Don't do that.

Jess, Jess. Jess, stop it. Jess. Jess.

OK, they can come. Look?

Fine. See? They're coming, it's OK.

Look, look, in they go, in the bag.

So her best friends are stones now?

Not all of them.

Some of them are bricks.

Well, have you, you know,

have you spoken to anyone about it?

What, like a geologist?

Oh, this thing hates me.

I'm just saying that...

obsessive collecting,

it's rather abnormal behaviour

for a child to...

She's behaving abnormally?

I wonder why.

For Christ's sake, Abi, just get...

- OK, sweetie?

- Everything all right?

- I need a list.

- A list?

Yeah, of the lies we're going to tell.

In case I forget one.

- That is a clove hitch.

- It's just a list would be helpful.

- Has anyone seen my house keys?

- Oh, M25 slow moving between...

- Keys, keys, keys.

... well, everywhere.

It's just a list would be

really helpful.

It's really very simple.

It's Granddad's 75th birthday party

and we don't want to upset him

because he's been a bit poorly...

He's getting better now.

Yes, but...

Oh, Jesus H Christ!

Mummy, you're not supposed to

shout Jesus's name like that.

No, that's all right,

it's cos I'm asking for His help.

- To stop the car alarm?

- Yep.

See? Thank you, Jesus.

Come on, all aboard!

- Enemies of Odin!

- I want the window seat!

- Have you got your key?

- No, I gave you my key, remember?

- Yeah. Yep.

- We can't leave the house unlocked.

- No, I'm aware of that.

- Don't start.

Nobody's starting.

You supervise the little ones.

- Well, where are your keys?

- Erm, I think someone's hidden them.

Oh, for f...

We've got to address this.

- How many times?

- Don't start!

- We're not starting, darling.

- OK.

- Well, where are you going?

- Lucy.

She won't let me

put her seat belt on.

- I don't like it!

- We've got to put it on.

She'll be through the window screen

and cut into tiny pieces.

Yes, thank you, Mickey.

Ooh, I've got a good idea.

Why don't we ask Eric

if he knows how to put?

- It is Norman, Mum.

- Norman, as I was saying,

why don't we ask Norman if

he knows how to put a seat belt on?

He's a breeze block!

And he doesn't have arms! How could he

possibly put my seat belt on?

Right, I'm putting it on.

It's the stone

that needs the seat belt.

Because if we brake hard,

it will go straight through your head

or Daddy's head if he's driving...

for your information.

Oh, hi, Lucy.

Erm, Abi's managed to lose her keys

and I need to lock up,

so could I borrow the spare?

If you could just let me have...

- Oh.

- Oh, no, Luce, it's fine.

Oh, right.

So, you're off on your travels.

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Andy Hamilton

Andrew Neil Hamilton (born 28 May 1954) is a British comedian, game show panellist, television director, comedy screenwriter, radio dramatist, and novelist. more…

All Andy Hamilton scripts | Andy Hamilton Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "What We Did on Our Holiday" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 4 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/what_we_did_on_our_holiday_23293>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    What We Did on Our Holiday

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.