What's New Pussycat

Synopsis: Michael James, a notorious womanizer, desperately wants to be faithful to his fiancée Carole, but runs into serious problems since every woman he meets seems to fall in love with him. His psychoanalyst Dr. Fassbender can't help him either since he's busy courting one of his patients who in turn longs for Michael. A catastrophe appears on the horizon as all the characters check into the Chateau Chantelle hotel for the weekend not knowing of each other's presence.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Clive Donner
Production: United Artists
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 3 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
108 min

# What's new, pussycat?


# What's new, pussycat?


# Pussycat, pussycat

# I've got flowers

and lots of hours to spend with you

# So go and powder

your cute little pussycat nose

# Pussycat, pussycat, I love you

# Yes, I do

# You and your pussycat nose

# What's new, pussycat?


# What's new, pussycat?


# Pussycat, pussycat

# You're delicious

and if my wishes can all come true

# I'll soon be kissing

your sweet little pussycat lips

# Pussycat, pussycat, I love you

# Yes, I do

# You and your pussycat lips

# Whoa-o-o

# You and your pussycat eyes

# Whoa-o-o

# You and your pussycat nose

- Who is she?

- Get into the kitchen!

- Adulterer!

- You're a monster!

Swine! Who is she?

Anna! I have told you never

to bother me here at work!

Who is she?

We have been through all that.

Get into the kitchen!

- Why didn't you come home?

- Leave me alone, I'm trying to work.

- Is she prettier than me?

- Is she prettier than you?

- I am prettier than you!

- Oh! No!

- Lipstick on your shirt!

- Well, nobody's perfect.

- I know she's not the first!


I hate you!

I hate you!

I've hated you from the moment

I first married you.

- You're a grotesque!

- Lascivious adulterer!

Don't you dare call me that again

until I have looked it up!

Adulterer! Adulterer!

Lascivious adulterer!

Silence when you're shouting at me!

Lascivious adulterer. Lasciv...

"Lascivious adulterer is a man

that is a lascivious adulterer."

What kind of book is that? You are

a monster and a monster, in that order.

Fritz plays around with the floozies!

Swine! Get out of my office!

I'll break every bone in your ox's body.


Do you realise I could slay you

any moment I like?

- Pig!

- Using the great Burt's judo method.

Argh... Agh.

- Ooh!

- Argh!

Get out of here.

We'll finish this later.

Don't be a bit surprised if I take

the children and leave for good.

That great, rotten, stinking hulk of...

Rotten, rotten, rotten pig!

Fat, great, stinking rotten... I hate you!

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!

Good afternoon. Am I late?

No, as a matter of fact

you are just on time.

Come, come. Make yourself

nice and comfortable. We will begin.

Women have always been

a big problem to me, Dr Fassbender.

- Are you listening, Doctor?

- Yes, yes, yes. Go on, go on, go on.

The first woman I had a crush on

was my schoolteacher.

- Miss Marks.

- That's a perfectly normal occurrence.

Did you read the essay I wrote

on my summer holidays?

Yes, I did. I thought it was

the most moving piece I'd ever read.

I hope you noticed

I dedicated it to you, Miss Marks.

Call me Tandalaya.

Oh, Michael, this can't work.

I'm 34 and you're 12.

Don't be negative.

Oh, Michael.

Michael, what's to become of us?

And what did become?

She lost her licence and I failed English.

Can I tell you what

I once did in a Latvian brothel?

- Later.

- Oh.

My second experience with a woman

was no picnic either. It was at high school.

What did I do? What did I do? What

did I do? Someone tell me what I did.

What did I do? Tell me what I did.

Jenny! Will you tell me what I did?

Will you tell me, please, what I did?

What am I supposed to have done?

What have I done?

It's no use looking like the Day

of Judgment unless you tell me. Tell me!

- And did you do it?

- I was untutored in these matters.

And women have always

overcome my basic shyness.

But you had a perfectly normal

sexual life at college?

Normal? It was frightening.

I was captain of the debating team,

do you see?

I was competing for the interscholastic

Rate this script:(3.33 / 3 votes)

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "What's New Pussycat" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 9 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/what's_new_pussycat_23298>.

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