
Welcome to Mooseport
- How do you like this rain, Danny?
- I'm sick of it, Jim.
Mr. Sunshine should be peeking
through those early morning clouds.
Yeah. Promises, promises.
Folks, we have a question for you.
First caller with the right answer wins:
An orthopedic tractor seat cushion
from Handy's Hardware.
Okay, he was a recent
two-term president.
- Of the Moose Lodge?
- No, no, little buddy.
The ex-president of the United States!
Many say the most popular in history.
- The first president divorced in office.
- And he's moving right here to...
... Mooseport!
- Okay, we got a caller.
- Can you name him?
- Eagle Cole?
- Monroe "Eagle" Cole!
- Monroe "Eagle" Cole!
Congratulations, you're a winner.
- Morning, Handy.
- Morning, Kent. Looks good.
- Yeah. Yeah. Morning, Harve.
- Morning, Kent.
- Morning, Harve.
- Morning.
- Morning, Harve.
- Morning, Morris.
- Morning, Handy.
- Morning, Morris.
- Morning, Reuben.
- Morning, Handy!
- Morning, Stu, Morning, Fern.
- Morning, Handy.
- New socks, Harve?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I like them. I like them.
They go well with... each other.
- Thanks.
- Morning, Handy.
Hi, Mandy. I didn't see you there.
Ready, boys? Get it together, now.
Nice. Good job.
- Morning.
- Morning, Irma.
Come on, Plunger. There you go.
- Hey, baby.
- Martha, good morning.
It's not too early for Bruce, right?
Bruce doesn't care what time it is.
- Bruce got a little morning breath going.
- Do you believe this?
He decides to come a week early and
they expect us to get all that work done?
He's the president.
He usually gets what he wants.
We'll get it done.
You know what I like about Bruce?
When he's here, my nose looks normal.
Yeah, but his nose fits his face, boss.
You're not funny, Bob. Let's go.
- Hold, please.
- Hold on one second.
Copy that. Go!
Lucky bounce, Mr. President.
Well, you know what they say:
I'd rather be lucky than good.
Mr. President, what will you do next?
Oh, so many offers, Chi Chi,
it's an embarrassment of riches.
First, there's the Farewell World Tour.
Chance for me to say goodbye and
thank you to all my wonderful friends.
Writing my memoirs. And then I'm doing
something I haven't done in 26 years:
Putting my feet up, reading a newspaper,
without interruptions.
Sounds good. Settle back in that
beautiful place you have in Baltimore.
Afraid the first lady got that one.
- In the divorce.
- Oh, right.
She got the best years of my life.
But the one thing she won't get
is my title.
To the house?
No. The title "Mr. President. "
Unless donkeys fly, they'll be calling me
Mr. President for the rest of my life.
She can have Baltimore. I'm fine with my
lovely little summer place. Mooseport.
Four-Tango-X-ray.
Sorry, Sally, we have the former
president of the United States on final.
We've got orders to let him land first.
- Hold short.
- Damn it.
Welcome to the Mooseport White House,
Mr. President.
All secure.
Home sweet home.
It gets more magnificent every year.
Take the dog for a pee, Grace.
Oh, Jesus. It looks like
Tiger Woods' funeral.
- There are these speaking engagements...
- I have to take a quick cabinet meeting.
Get in there!
Sir, sorry. Handy Harrison.
It's an honor to meet you, sir.
- Get his weapon.
- Back off!
- All right, sir?
- Fine. I didn't know a worker was here.
- I'm a worker.
- I'm sure he's been checked out.
- They checked me out.
- Yes. Everybody's been totally cleared.
I'll get out of here. Let me...
- Boy, sorry.
- All clear.
And I just want to say it's an honor
to work for you, really.
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"Welcome to Mooseport" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 10 Dec. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/welcome_to_mooseport_23215>.
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