We Are Your Friends

1

WELL, IT'S GONNA BE

A BIG NIGHT, RIGHT?

I MEAN, HOW MUCH

ARE WE LOOKIN' AT?

I'll give you five a head.

FIVE A HEAD? F*CK YOU!

THERE'S TIKI BARS IN ENCINO

THAT PAY MORE THAN THAT.

WE'RE GONNA PULL OU ON YOU THEN.

HOW ABOUT I GUARANTEE YOU

500 HEADS...

AND YOU FUCKIN' BUMP US UP

TO SEVEN?

You pull 500 girls

into the club,

I'll give you fuckin' head.

Wait, am I on speaker?

YEAH, MY PHONE'S BROKE.

WHAT TIME IS COLE'S SET?

Oh, yeah, Cole.

I got him down at 9:00 pm.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WHO'S GOIN' ON AT 11:00?

Uh, uh, DJ Devin

playing at 11:
00.

DOES DJ DEVIN HAVE 25 KAPPA

ALPHA ALPHA OMEGA SLUTS

COMING IN:

A FUCKING PARTY BUS?

'CAUSE THEY AIN'T GONNA

BE THERE UNTIL 11:00.

YO, BE A FUCKIN' GENTLEMAN,

NICKY.

Be a gentleman?

F*ck you, kid.

11:
00.

And fix your Goddamn phone.

ALL RIGHT, BITCH.

GOT YOU, BOO!

UH! PRIME TIME!

YOU KNOW, IT'S A MAJOR NIGH FOR MY BOY, ALL RIGHT?

JUST, YOU KNOW, CUT LOOSE.

BRING WHOEVER.

BRING 'EM ALL, BRING 'EM ALL.

THE GIRL WITH THE DIMPLES.

SEE YOU THEN.

150 HEADS.

NICE, MAN.

NO THANKS.

AND THE SQUIRREL

CAME SCURRYING UP THE TREE.

YO, YO!

GET OUT, I'M DRIVIN'.

WHAT?

GET OUT, I'M DRIVIN'.

GET IN, GET IN,

COME ON.

THERE HE IS.

WEARING A LEATHER JACKE IN THE SUMMERTIME.

AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN.

GOOD GOD.

FIVE, FOUR, THREE...

TWO...ONE.

JAMES REED,

THURSDAYS, SOCIAL.

YOU SHOULD COME OU TO SOCIAL.

JAMES REED:

IS HEADLINING.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

DO YOU LIKE ELECTRONIC MUSIC?

YOUR NOSE JOB:

LOOKS GREAT.

DO YOU PROMISE?

JAMES REED, SOCIAL, THURSDAYS.

BRING YOUR FRIENDS,

BRING ALL YOUR FRIENDS.

IF THEY LOOK LIKE YOU,

BRING 'EM ALL.

HERE, HERE, ALL YOU GUYS.

GIRL, YOU WANNA COME OU ON THURSDAY?

JAMES REED IS DEEJAYING.

SOCIAL. THURSDAYS.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.

OKAY.

HERE, PUT YOUR NUMBER

IN MY PHONE.

IF YOU GUYS BRING

LIKE A COUPLE FRIENDS,

I CAN GET YOU:

A FREE BOTTLE.

IT'S COLE, BY THE WAY.

SEE YOU THURSDAY.

I SHOULD'VE GONE

TO COLLEGE.

THIS IS:

THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY...

THAT FLAT STRETCH OF LAND

ON THE OTHER SIDE

OF THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS.

OUR GREATEST CONTRIBUTIONS

TO AMERICAN CULTURE

REMAIN THE PORN INDUSTRY

AND DITZY GIRLS...

BUT WE'VE ALSO GO THE BEST SUSHI

IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

AND IT'S ALWAYS

IN A STRIP MALL. ALWAYS.

THAT'S MY FRIEND MASON'S HOUSE.

AND THAT'S THE POOL HOUSE

IN THE BACK,

WHERE I'VE BEEN LIVING

SINCE I WAS 15.

THAT'S WHERE WE THREW DOWN WITH

SOME PUNKS FROM CANOGA PARK.

NOW I GOT THIS AWESOME SCAR.

AND THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.

SHH.

YO, YO, THE FACT IS THA 99% OF ALL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD,

THEY'RE LOOKIN' FOR A PARTY.

OKAY, AND 1% OF PEOPLE,

THEY ARE THE PARTY.

YOU GOTTA FUCKIN' BE THAT.

YOU KNOW, YOUR BODY'S 85% WATER,

AND I'M THIRSTY. I'M THIRSTY.

THIS ISN'T SOME UNCE-UNCE,

BRIDGE-AND-TUNNEL BULLSHIT.

THIS IS THE BEST DANCE PARTY

IN L.A.

AND THAT GUY RIGHT THERE...

HE'S DEEJAYING.

I'M DEEJAYING.

JUST THE SIDE ROOM, THOUGH.

IT'S JUST THE SIDE ROOM.

THESE DAYS, YOU CAN INVEN AN APP, START A BLOG,

SELL SHIT ONLINE,

BUT IF YOU'RE A DJ,

ALL YOU NEED IS A LAPTOP,

SOME TALENT, ONE TRACK.

THAT TRACK IS YOUR TICKE TO EVERYTHING.

MAN, DEEJAYING, PRODUCING...

LOOK, IT'S HARD.

IT'S A SATURATED MARKET.

YEAH, 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ENOUGH ACTORS IN L.A.

I'M NOT AN ACTOR.

I'M A MOVIE STAR.

THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST...

-THE BEST...

-THE BEST...

-THE BEST NIGHT...

-THE BEST NIGHT...

-BEST...

-NIGHT...

-OF...

-YOUR...

-LIFE.

YOU'RE SO FUCKING PRETTY,

OLLIE. LIKE AN ANGEL.

GET OFF ME,

YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT.

THIS ONE'S OFF BEACHWOOD.

FOUR BEDROOMS,

A PARTY DECK,

200 SQUARE FOO DINING ROOM.

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