
Watermelon Man
- R
- Year:
- 1970
- 100 min
- 227 Views
[THUDDING]
[GLASS CLINKING]
79, 80, 80, JUMP, 82,
83, 84, 85, 86...
[SIGHS]
[PANTS]
[JEFF GRUNTING]
Come on, harder.
Come on, yell.
Jimmy crack corn,
and i don't care
Jimmy crack corn,
and i don't care
my master's gone away
(Jeff)
Take that, my good man.
Oh, you are fast,
Muhammad aAli.
You are fast, all right.
Ooh! Rabbit punch.
Jesus, ref, are you blind?
You're a credit to your race.
(MALE NEWSCASTER)
...damage estimated
in the millions.
It's the 3rd such outbreak
in this area this month
and reflects the unrest
that has plagued the area
since early last year
when similar conflagrations
arose
all across the country...
Morning, troop.
Hello, sweetheart.
Hey, Burton.
Should another such incident occur,
for special federal riot troops,
an action that no one wants.
Least of all, the White House
which has been hopeful
that such disturbances were over,
at least for the time being.
That's got to be the smallest screen
in the world.
They look like ants.
They're getting very dangerous.
only have 15-minute shows.
[CHUCKLING]
Get it?
Small screen, small shows.
You said that yesterday.
You didn't get it yesterday either.
It wasn't funny yesterday
any more than it'll be funny tomorrow.
Critics everywhere.
Aren't you concerned
Yeah, sure.
Most people are just crazy.
They think at any moment
a negro's gonna hit 'em over the head
with a watermelon and steal
their high school ring.
have to show greater interest
and understanding. How else--
Look, aAlthea.
Your bus will be coming by soon.
I'd like to give 'em a head start.
Makes a contest out of it.
It is now post time.
Thank you, my dear.
in the insurance gig.
I want you to know that I feel
I am so advised.
You were so advised yesterday.
It wasn't funny yesterday either.
Don't kiss me.
I wasn't gonna kiss you,
it's just that my shorts
are too tight, that's all.
Mommy, can we watch daddy run out the door?
No, you may not.
Oh, boy.
There goes your stupid bus.
Doesn't stand a chance.
There he is, the son of a bitch!
Step on it, you got him by 50 yards!
Sorry, folks, I got to
make a stop at this corner.
(MAN)
have your exact change ready, folks.
[ALL YELLING]
Come on.
[ALL CONTINUE YELLING]
(MAN)
Hurry up! Hurry up!
[PASSENGERS GROANING]
(MAN)
Go! Go! Go! Go!
(PASSENGERS)
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
[PASSENGERS CHEERING]
[PASSENGERS CHATTERING]
(PASSENGERS)
oh, shit.
[SIGHS]
Winner, and still undefeated, folks.
Pay some respectful homage, please.
Some applause, please?
[CHUCKLING]
Shows you have good taste, lady.
Fare, please
Arrogant, arrogant.
They're all arrogant.
In the good old days, back in the old south,
you'd have to drive from back here!
[LAUGHING]
Get it? Back of the bus?
Why don't you take
all the money you save
racing this bus and race a cab?
(JEFF)
That is very funny.
[JEFF LAUGHING]
Hey, driver, you hear that?
I'm only good for short distances.
100 yards, maybe.
But over a long haul,
they just don't have it in 'em.
Camptown race track
5 miles long
doo-dah, doo-dah
Camptown race track
5 miles long
(JEFF)
See you tomorrow, fans.
Same time, same station.
Yeah, you're not such
a big shot when it rains, are you?
When it rains, you ride.
No, no, when it rains, it pours.
[HUMMING]
[SIGHS]
come on, joe.
hey, joe, come on.
come on, come on.
mornin', mr. gerber.
ah, mornin', joe.
how goes it?
oh, ok.
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Citation
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"Watermelon Man" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 1 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/watermelon_man_23122>.