Wanderland

1

[instrumental music playing]

[train chugging]

I really can't.

You think

I'm gonna accept that?

You're a real pig,

you know that?

[keyboard clacking]

[elevator dings]

[beeps]

[woman grunting]

[door buzzes]

Thanks.

[classical music playing

from laptop]

[phone beeps]

[woman] Just go!

Come on.

Do it!

What is wrong with you? Go!

Just go.

Do it!

Come on!

Do it. Go!

Just go!

Do it!

[GPS] Exit 66 to Dorn Road.

One hundred east. Turn left.

Hmm.

[car honks]

[GPS] One hundred east.

Turn right.

Then you have arrived.

Recalculating.

Mmm.

[GPS] Turn around.

Recalculating.

[car engine sputtering]

[cat mews]

[purring]

[sneezes]

[low battery beep]

[purring]

[vibrating]

Oh!

Oh.

[meows]

[sighs]

Mmm.

[sighs]

[guitar music playing]

She sticks right to his heart

Like marmalade

Says it twice

But he can't catch her name

Warm environment

On the first date

Next he hears she lives

In a different place

She feels like

The sunny sun

Cold as the winter shade

But the animal zone

Ought to stay away

[woman] Move, my friend!

Are you talking to me?

You need to move!

[shrieks] Oh, sh*t!

Told you to move, didn't I?

Tide's coming in.

Didn't know I could

make it here.

You know, most people dress

a little more beach-y

if they're gonna stand

right by the ocean.

Just saying.

Well, the truth, lady,

is I came out here

trying to get

a better cell signal.

And to take in

all this beauty.

Excuse me?

You came to take in

all this beauty

because you wouldn't come

to a place like this

and still only care

about a cell signal.

Yeah, I'm just not a...

a big fan of the ocean.

Why not?

Kind of personal reasons.

Okay.

Would you happen to know

where I could get

a cell phone charger

around here?

Ah, you could try Ouzo Electronics

on Main, but it closes at 5:30.

What, 5:
30?

Yeah, it's off-season.

Everything's shut

except for the ice cream shop.

You're in the wilderness now.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I haven't seen you

around before.

Ah, I'm just staying at a

friend's place for the weekend.

And is this friend

age-appropriate?

[chuckles] Excuse me?

What does that mean?

Maybe you're one

of those guys

that seduces the rich old

ladies for their summer homes.

I seem like the type?

Maybe. Not sure yet.

You pegged me.

You know, although

ladies can't resist me,

and my wet pants.

No, she's totally

age-appropriate.

And she's just a friend.

She's, in fact,

an acquaintance, really.

I don't... I don't even

know her, actually.

You know, this is

the longest conversation

I've had with anyone

face-to-face in weeks.

Going to a party later.

You should come.

I don't think

I was invited.

I think you just were.

It's your party?

I know the person throwing it.

I could put you

on the guest list.

I don't know.

Guest lists, they kinda

stress me out.

Plus, I just, you know,

I came out just to get away.

I was gonna get back

and decompose.

"Decompose"? Really?

[chuckles]

I mean, decompress.

Plus, she's got a cat

that I gotta look out for.

It's...

It's not my cat.

It's hers.

Join me for a swim at least?

What, now?

I better get to the store

before it closes.

You know...

Isn't it a little cold,

this time of year?

Precisely.

[squeals]

Precisely.

So bitter and so sweet

Like marmalade

Run down in your teeth

Like marmalade

Sophisticated and simple

Like marmalade

She sticks right to his heart

Like marmalade

[engine sputtering]

[engine starts]

Idiot.

[engine stalling]

Oh!

You're kidding me.

[engine stalling]

[mumbles]

Oh! Hey! Excuse me!

I got a...

Hey, schmuck!

[yelps]

Hey.

Oh.

Oh, hey!

Hey!

Hello.

Oh, hi!

Thanks for stopping.

Look, do you have a phone?

My car broke down

and my phone died on me.

Sure thing.

My house is on the far side

of the field over there.

Meet you there.

Okay.

[pigs snorting]

Oh, thank you so much again.

I really appreciate it.

No problem.

I'm Alex, by the way.

Hello, Alexander.

I'm Shirley.

It's just Alex.

Come on in, Just Alex.

- Great place.

- Thanks.

Hey, you wouldn't happen to have

an iPhone charger, would you?

I most certainly would.

Oh, thank God.

Think I landed in paradise.

"Well, then come

deeper inside,"

said the spider to the fly.

- [cat hisses]

- [yelps]

[cat mews]

You have cats.

Yeah. They keep

the mice away,

because they eat them.

Right.

Isn't it a little late in the

year to be harvesting corn?

[chuckles]

I'm not harvesting.

I'm cleaning up

my corn maze.

Oh, oh. Wow. You have a corn maze.

That's cool.

Yeah. Yes, it is.

It's all about

the commerce test, Alex.

Yeah.

Lots of Jews out here.

You said you had

an iPhone charger.

I do. In the kitchen.

[song playing over player]

It must be so hard

Thinking the world

Is laughing at you

It must be so hard

[phone vibrating]

So you try not to crack

Even though

You're gonna break

You know without a doubt

There's just less rice

On your plate

Is that you?

I remember a time

When all the world was fair

I remember a time

When all the world was fair

Your voice is amazing.

- You think?

- [Alex sniffles]

[laughs] Look.

You do.

You're all worked up.

Oh, no, sorry, that's the...

that's the cat.

I'm allergic.

[chuckles] You men,

needing to be so tough.

We love emotion.

It melts us.

You can't fool me.

[phone beeps]

[softly] Oh, come on now.

There's no service?

Um...

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