Waking Ned

Synopsis: The lucky winner of the national lottery is Ned Devine, so taken by his good fortune that he now can't be waked, because he died from the shock of it! News of the win spread quickly in the scenic little Irish village of Tully More, but not the secret news of Ned's demise. With lottery officials closing in to confirm the prize claimed by the deceased Devine, Ned's closest friends scheme to keep the prize money close to home, in memory of Ned of course! But as the plot twists humorously, they learn it is hard is to keep such a secret in a small town.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Kirk Jones
Production: Twentieth Century Fox
  9 wins & 8 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
91 min

Saturday evening,

and the universe is much the same...

as at any other point in

the history of the world.

The planets and stars

orbit and spin...

and do everything that

is expected of them.

On earth, as the sun sets,

millions prepare...

for a weekly event which

is far less predictable.

In sixty-three countries

around the world...

dozens of lottery machines

spin hundreds of lottery balls.

It takes seconds for the winning

numbers to be selected...

seconds for the losers

to realize they've lost...

but for the winners,

it is an event...

which will undoubtedly

change their lives forever.

Lucky sods.

Hello again, and welcome...

to the National Lottery's

weekend draw...

for Saturday,

the 21st of August.

We're coming to you live tonight

from the heart of Dublin...

where we are, as we speak,

calculating the total amount...

of the jackpot to

be claimed tonight.

As always, we shall be

bringing you up to date...

with the total jackpot

and all the lotto news...

in our round-up program which

follows directly after the news.

But for now, let's concentrate

on the game in hand...

and get this week's

draw underway.

Just to remind you,

if you can match six numbers...

Annie, where's me ticket?

In your trousers.

Oh, Lord.

Here's Alan Fergis...

our independent observer

this evening.

Alan is from Stokescroft

Financial Services...

and we're very honored

to have him here tonight.

There's all your numbers

numbers one to forty-two

poised and ready...

Annie, bring me me

apple tart, will you?

Fetch it yourself.

We start the draw drum,

release all forty-two numbers.

Annie, the lotto's starting.

...as we wait

for the first number...

to come from

the draw drum.

And our first number is...


Oh, yes.

There she goes.

Number nineteen.

Annie, come in.

Bring me me tart.

We've got the first one.

It's... number forty.

Jeepers, Annie.

Will you believe it?

I've got the second.

Our third number

is number four.

Oh, will you

look at that, girl?

Here's our fourth number...


Can you believe it, Annie?

Number seven!

Will you come in out of that?

We got the first four!

You're havin' me on.

Shush, shush, shush.

...is twenty-five.


Annie... we've got it.

Jesus, Jackie... that's five.

Oh, God help us.

God help us.

And now here's

the sixth number...

- Twenty-nine.

- Yes! Yes, yes.

Finally, our bonus number...

Yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes!

Have we won?

No, but it got me apple tart

brought in now, didn't it?


sync, fix:

I wish I was a fisherman

Tumbling on the seas

Far away from dry land

And its bitter memories

Casting out

my sweet life

With abandonment and love

No ceiling bearing

down on me

Save the starry sky

above with light in my head

You in my arms



Michael O'Sullivan,

are you a millionaire?

Now, Jackie,

would I spend me time...

sittin' on this old beach

if I was a millionaire?

I believe you would.

Hold on there now.

I've some mighty news.

Are you going in for a dip?

More important things to do.

Look and see what I've found...

in the small print of the

Irish Times last night.

Look at it, the front page,

down at the bottom...

winkin' at ya,

lotto results.

Winner from County More West.

A local winner?

God, that's a thing.

Jeepers, Michael,

it's more than local.

County More West is big,

but there's only one village in it.

- Tullymore.

- Tullymore.

Is this a fact, Jackie?

A winner in the village?

In Tullymore itself, yes.

And how many are

living there now?

Well, there's fifty-two

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Waking Ned" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 20 Oct. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/waking_ned_23000>.

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