Vive la France

Synopsis: Muzafar and Feruz are two good-hearted shepherds from Taboulistan... a tiny country in Central Asia that no one has ever heard of. In order to bring his country into the international limelight, the son of the Tabouli president decides to try terror "advertising" and entrusts the two shepherds, more naive than evil, with the mission of a lifetime: destroying the Eiffel Tower! To meet their objective, they have to move through the most hostile territory imaginable: France! A France far different from the West they had heard described: Corsican nationalists, over-zealous policemen, dishonest taxi drivers, violent sports fans, crabby employees, unfriendly waiters, Kafkaesque administrations and medical malpractice... they are spared nothing. Luckily they meet Marianne, a young and pretty reporter who mistakes them for illegal aliens and helps shows them another face of France... a hospitable, magnificent and generous land where the living is easy. Vive la France!
Genre: Comedy
 
IMDB:
5.8
Year:
2013
94 min
41 Views

French. Only French.

I not feel good.

Calm.

Do like me.

Think other things.

Watch film.

What is it?

A film about a plane.

It's interesting.

Very interesting.

- Your meal, sir.

- Thank you.

- Enjoy.

- Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have

just entered French airspace.

It's time.

Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately

an air traffic controllers' strike

has shut down the Paris airports.

We have to land in Figari

in Corsica.

What the hell?

- What now?

- Move!

- Go!

- You're sure?

Why not Tripoli while you're at it?

We head back to France

and the bullshit starts!

The meal was foul too!

Shame on you!

- My fork!

- What?

I lose my fork.

I go alone.

Why not land in Nice?

Nice is closed for a summit.

It has to be Corsica.

We're starting our descent.

Yes, sir?

I need the toilet.

Too late.

Thank you for the cutlery.

All of you, sit down now!

Fasten your seatbelts

and clam up!

You can't treat us like this!

When the world was created,

God decided to invent

the most beautiful country of all

and put all

of the world's wonders in it.

He called that country...

France.

But so that other countries

wouldn't feel deprived,

God decided to fill it with

the French.

But first let me explain

how we got here.

It all began in Taboulistan,

a tiny Central Asian country

stuck between Afghanistan,

Kirghizstan

and Tajikistan.

And it all began exactly

in a small village called

Kachtebrul.

This is me. Feruz.

And that's Muzafar.

We're half-brothers.

Muzafar is the son

our dad had with his cousin.

The lady with the moustache.

Every morning

with our women, we do

the famous traditional dance

of Taboulistan,

the Tawa!

The dance of joy!

Our land is called Taboulistan

because our greatest pride

is to have invented 1,000 years ago

the original recipe

for tabbouleh!

A skillful blend of grain,

parsley

and tomatoes.

In spite of what people think,

the Lebanese didn't invent it.

Those dogs just stole the recipe!

And, since then,

the world has forgotten we exist.

The UN has never recognized us.

And that bothers

our Great Leader, Hadadad

Wassupbro...

Idiots!

...democratically elected

for 36 years.

Losers!

Not one minister had managed

to get our land noticed

until the day when...

Jafaraz Wassupbro,

son of our Leader,

had a revolutionizing idea!

Terrorism...

as advertising!

His plan was to attack

the world's most popular monument...

The Eiffel Tower!

- Feruz, watch the goats!

- Why me?

And it was that day,

as Muzafar and I were chatting...

- I should've drowned you at birth!

- Calm down, you old goat.

Old goat?

...saw the start of the adventure

that led us to France.

Greetings.

Little Leader!

Little Leader Wassupbro!

Calm down. Gently!

We were first sent

to a training camp.

And, to get to know our new enemy...

France!

...we started by learning

French!

These are

the 10 most frequently used words.

Repeat.

Hello.

How you?

Basterd!

Bisch.

Arzhole.

Fock.

Bommer.

Shite.

Goobye.

We also studied

all the cultural differences.

France is a land

where men are deprived of the right

to hit women.

In France,

slapping women not allowed.

But what happens if they speak?

You listen.

Not possible!

You can't treat people like that!

To infiltrate the country,

we changed our identity.

Your French passports.

For you...

Jafaraz gave us new names.

I became...

Michel!

And Muzafar became...

Yannick!

For me,

for the mission,

I've chosen to use

typically French name.

Michel Ouellebec.

Don't like Michel.

Michel no good?

Alin Ouellebec.

My name?

Better!

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Michaël Youn

Michaël Youn (born Michaël Benayoun; 2 December 1973), also known under the name of Fatal Bazooka, is a French actor, singer, comedian, and TV and radio personality. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Vive la France" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 27 Jan. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/vive_la_france_22918>.

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