Visit to a Small Planet

1

VISIT TO A SMALL PLANE And in remote outer

reaches of the universe,

past civilizations as we know it,

is a galactic system called, the Milky Way.

Now this minor galaxy

contains in its backwards area.

A rather piddling star

known as:
The Sun.

With a really pitiful array of planets.

So much for our lesson in space geography.

And I hope you all took notes.

They'll be a test first thing

in the century, now then...

Where is he?

Well, speak up. Where is Kreton?

During recess, I saw him

kick the ball over Cloud 9.

On purpose.

He said he'll be right back Mr. Delton.

He better be.

I wonder if he's headed...

There again! Oh, no.

That's Kreton, all right.

Goofiest driver in the whole school.

Kreton.

Uh-uh, mustn't touch.

Let's go buster, back

here where you belong.

- It's him.

- It's he.

All right young man, I know

you're there, come out.

Why don't you come in?

Because I'm the teacher

and I said, come out.

Well, I did mean any harm, Mr. Delton.

You see, Mr. Delton? I found my ball.

- I'll get it.

- Oh, no you don't.

Young man, you and I are going to have

a little heart to heart talk.

Back to your seats all of you.

Not you.

Now then

you know perfectly well

you've been forbidden to visit,

that odious little planetoid

in the solar system.

But Mr. Delton, earth isn't a planetoid,

it's a full grown planet, it has

six continents, five oceans, 2 moons...

- One moon.

- One moon?

Well, anyhow, it's my hobby,

you see, as I calculate,

right now down there,

they're having a very interesting

period:
The civil war.

Well gee whiz, Mr. Dalton.

Every guy should have a hobby.

Not in your case.

Remember Mars, your last hobby?

We should have never let

you set foot on the place.

Bare, barren, desolate.

Nobody goes there anymore.

No...

Say, maybe if they put

a gambling...

Nothing would help.

Thanks to your thoughtlessness,

Mars is a dead planet.

What good is it?

Well, you could...

Now Kreton, I want write:

"I will not visit the earth",

10 billion times.

Stay after school a bit, if necessary.

But Mr. Delton, I got

a date with the fellas,

to go space skiing.

I got wax on my feet and everything.

10 billion times.

10 billion.

Well.

Did he say 10 billion times,

or 10 million times?

What's the difference all start

with the first time.

I... will... not... visit... the...

Ahh.

Haa.

He's gone again. Boy, is he in for it.

You mean, "is the earth in for it."

It is...

It is one of them.

It is. It is.

Hello Mr. Mayberry.

I just picked up my costume

for your party tonight.

What are you going as?

General Lee, same as every year.

What are you looking at?

A flying saucer.

A what?

Didn't you see it?

Well, no sir.

This is the real thing, Conrad.

Look for yourself.

You see it? Do you see it?

Mr. Mayberry, there ain't nothing up there

except a little old cloud.

Oh, give me those.

Little ole cloud nothing. There she is.

Going round and round and round.

- Let me have another look.

- Just as plain as day.

- Well?

- I'm looking.

What is your considered opinion, Conrad?

You won't get mad?

Well, of course I won't.

Well, Mr. Mayberry,

my considered opinion is:

You oughta' see an eye doctor.

You got astigmatism.

Eye doctor!

Well, I gotta get over to Spelding's,

I gotta drop these flowers for Ellen.

Astigmatism!

To wear to your party tonight.

Bye-bye.

Oh, my goodness.

Its wiggling like a hula-hoop.

George, I fully realise that you are vice

president in charge of programming

but I will not pull my punches.

The American public has faith

in Roger Putnam Spelding.

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