Victor\Victoria

Synopsis: In 1934 Paris, trained coloratura soprano Victoria Grant, a native Brit, can't get a job as a singer and is having trouble making ends meet. She doesn't even have enough money for the basics of food and shelter. Gay cabaret singer Carole 'Toddy' Todd may befall the same fate as Victoria as he was just fired from his singing gig at a second rate club named Chez Lui. To solve both their problems, Toddy comes up with what he considers an inspired idea: with Toddy as her manager, Victoria, pretending to be a man, get a job singing as a female impersonator. If they pull this scheme off, Toddy vows Victoria, as her male alter ego, will be the toast of Paris and as such be extremely wealthy. That alter ego they decide is Polish Count Victor Grazinski, Toddy's ex-lover who was disowned by his family when they found out he was gay. The Count auditions for the city's leading agent, Andre Cassell, who, impressed, gets him a gig performing in the city's best nightclub. In the audience on the succe
Genre: Comedy, Music, Musical
Director(s): Blake Edwards
Production: MGM Home Entertainment
  Won 1 Oscar. Another 10 wins & 15 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.6
Rotten Tomatoes:
96%
PG
Year:
1982
134 min
124 Views


Cab fare, Richard?

No, I've got to pay some biIIs.

You couId at Ieast Ieave me

enough for breakfast.

Toddy, one wouId suspect

you think I'm mercenary.

Try ''unscrupuIous.''

You get your money's worth.

I'd say we both get my money's worth.

Look, Toddy, if you're not happy

with the arrangement--

As a matter of record, I'm not.

But to quote the immortaI bard:

''Love Iooks not with the eyes,

but with the mind

''And therefore is winged Cupid

painted bIind''

Have a nice day, Toddy.

I'II do my damnedest.

As you can teII, Monsieur Labisse,

I have a Iegitimate voice.

Yes, I'm Iooking for something

a IittIe more iIIegitimate.

-I'm sure that with a IittIe practice I--

-Lady.

That's Iike a nun saying,

with practice, she'd be a streetwaIker.

-It has to come naturaIIy.

-Right.

In some professions,

practice is a minor consideration...

...so take my advice and stick to Carmen.

I'm a coIoratura, Monsieur Labisse,

not a mezzo.

WeII, whatever you are, Andr CasseII

shouId never have sent you over here.

-He didn't.

-You toId me he was your agent.

I Iied. Thank you.

In spite of what you think...

...there are some professions

where practice does make perfect.

-What in heII was that?

-B fIat.

-Monsieur le directeur, she's back.

-What?

Hey!

Miss Grant.

You owe me two weeks.

-HoId it, hoId it.

-What?

You promised to pay me on Tuesday,

then on Wednesday, then on Thursday.

-What's that?

-What?

Spaghetti?

Yes. With meatbaIIs.

I'II sIeep with you for a meatbaII.

-You'II what?

-Missed your chance.

Oh, no, you don't!

It won't do you any good.

I've been in the hoteI business for 20 years.

I know aII the angIes.

Come on, get up. Get up!

I don't care if you got the bubonic pIague.

If you can't pay the rent...

...I'II confiscate your personaI beIongings

and I'II evict you.

What happened?

You made me an offer I couIdn't refuse

and then you pretended to faint.

Don't be ridicuIous.

I never pretend to faint.

Yeah, sure.

-What are you doing?

-I am heIping you to stand up.

-I thought I was standing.

-Maybe you'd Iike to Iie down.

You're confusing me.

I'm sure we can do something

about the rent.

Whatever you may think,

I'm not an ungenerous man.

-What? What is it?

-There!

-Where?

-There!

-What?

-A cockroach!

What?

I'm sorry! I can't stand cockroaches!

-I see. EspeciaIIy in a hoteI room?

-Anywhere!

You won't teII the Department of HeaIth

if I forget your rent?

I'II teII you once more,

I'm getting my money.

And just in case you thought of Ieaving us

during the night....

PIease, don't Ieave me! PIease!

I know what it is. I'm dreaming.

That's Toddy warbIing again.

Waiter!

How boring.

Thank you. You're most kind.

In fact, you're every kind.

I see we have a ceIebrity with us tonight.

Miss Simone KaIIisto, star of stage,

screen and an occasionaI circus.

-Take a bow, darIing.

-Up yours, chri.

Speaking of the circus...

...aren't you Richard Di Nardo

the weII-known trapeze artist?

CarefuI, Toddy.

You're not reaIIy funny, you know.

So, why don't you just piss off?.

You ought to be ashamed of yourseIf,

bringing your sweet, oId mother...

...into a pIace Iike this.

Ladies and gentIemen, you have

a deIightfuI surprise coming to you.

No! No! PIease!

But nobody was seriousIy hurt.

That's why I'm onIy cIosing you for a week.

You know how much

I wiII Iose in one week?

A quarter of what you'II Iose in a month

if there is any more troubIe.

You're fired.

I can't afford it.

You can't afford it? What about me?

What about aII this?

More ice.

-You couId take it out of my saIary.

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Blake Edwards

William Blake Crump (July 26, 1922 – December 15, 2010), better known by his stage name Blake Edwards, was an American filmmaker. Edwards began his career in the 1940s as an actor, but he soon began writing screenplays and radio scripts before turning to producing and directing in television and films. His best-known films include Breakfast at Tiffany's, Days of Wine and Roses, 10, Victor/Victoria, and the hugely successful Pink Panther film series with British actor Peter Sellers. Often thought of as primarily a director of comedies, he also directed several drama, musical, and detective films. Late in his career, he transitioned to writing, producing, and directing for theater. In 2004, he received an Honorary Academy Award in recognition of his writing, directing, and producing an extraordinary body of work for the screen. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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