Vampire Academy

1

Oh, Father, turn it up.

Please, Mr. Dragomir,

I love this song.

This song is sick... the traditional

"vomit" definition of the word.

Shut up, Andre.

Me and Rose want to hear it.

"Rose and I," Lissa,

"Rose and I."

I think the tune is rather catchy.

Lissa?

Lissa. Hey, Lissa, wake up.

- You're having a bad dream.

- It wasn't a dream.

I know. The accident.

Sorry. Not again.

You know, ever since that night,

I still can't get used to it.

You being in my head,

it's so weird.

You should know by now,

with us,

"weird" doesn't begin to cover it.

Why can't you be like

a normal teenage girl

and dream about hot,

naked guys on unicorns?

Does it have to be unicorns?

Of course not. It could be Jet Skis,

mechanical bulls or...

Why do you have a scary poster

of an American ex-president?

Well, you told me I needed to blend

more into Oregano society.

We're in Oregon.

You know you're completely hopeless

as a human being, right?

I'm still adjusting, Rose.

It's been less than a year

since we ran away from the academy,

two years since the crash.

Don't you ever stop to think about

everything that we've gone through?

Stopping is for losers.

I only think about keeping us moving

and keeping you safe.

Does anyone even remember us?

You really think the academy's

still trying to hunt us down?

Absolutely. I think we may

have to get plastic surgery.

No, don't, please.

- Yes? No?

- No.

- Just like this? You like it?

- Rose, no.

- Whoa. When was the last time you...?

- I'm not hungry.

Is exactly what you say

every time you're hungry.

Come to the kitchen.

I'll make your favorite.

Are you...

are you sure about this?

Bon apptit.

- Thanks.

- What are friends for?

You jealous, Oscar?

What are you looking at?

Do I still have anything

on my...?

Lissa, smile. They're watching.

Not a drill.

- What's out there? Not Strigoi?

- No, not Strigoi, thank God. Guardians.

Keep close,

just like we practiced.

Lissa, go.

- Did you have to hurt them?

- Did I have to hurt them?

You're welcome.

Get out the map, Gandhi.

We'll head north into Canada.

Did you really bring that fur ball?

I couldn't just abandon him.

Hells, yes.

Rose.

Princess Vasilisa Dragomir.

My name is Dimitri Belikov.

I've come to take you back

to St. Vladimir's Academy.

Listen, comrade, to get to her,

you're gonna have to go through me.

Like I said, "weird"

doesn't begin to cover it.

My best friend Lissa Dragomir

is a royal member

the Moroi.

The Moroi don't wear black capes,

turn into bats or sleep in coffins.

Daylight annoys yet doesn't kill them,

and they don't sparkle, either.

But, yes, like most creatures

with fangs, the Moroi live off blood.

But they don't live forever,

that's why they need us.

My name is Rose Hathaway and like

these other guys, I'm a Dhampir.

We're the protectors, the guardians.

Only half Moroi, I can eat a bacon

cheeseburger or whatever else I want.

Dhampir lives are dedicated

to protecting the Moroi.

They come first.

Only nothings ever simple.

Handcuffs? There's got to be

a compliment in there somewhere.

So you're taking us back to the academy.

Tell me, how bad is it gonna be?

Nothing?

You know, I kept the princess

safe and hidden

for an entire year

before you got lucky.

- Congratulations.

- It speaks.

Wow, that's a lot of molnija marks

you got there.

You've killed six Strigoi?

We were afraid that we'd run

into one of them back there.

If you had run into a Strigoi,

we wouldn't be having this conversation.

This is your idea of a conversation?

Exactly.

We are here. Open the gate.

Anyone there?

Where is everyone?

- Let's go!

- Lissa!

Move, move!

Stay in the car.

No!

I've got this one. Stay here.

What's going on out there?

Stay here.

Spiridon.

Welcome back, Dimitri.

And then there's group number

the bad vampires, the Strigoi.

Evil bloodsuckers

that only come out at night

and can only be killed

by a silver stake.

It takes five of our best

to kill one of their worst.

If you're lucky,

they'll just rip you apart,

but they can also turn you

into one of them.

Strigoi were the true monsters

of our nightmares.

For all the stories, the warnings,

and the training films,

I had never seen one up close.

I told you to stay in the car.

We're clear.

And there it was.

Goodbye, Facebook.

Goodbye, iPhone 5.

Hello, St. Vladimir's.

It is not just another school.

It's another universe.

Moroi and Dhampir students

come from all over the world

to study history, science, math,

and all the other boring stuff,

but around fourth period,

we Dhampir go off and learn fun new ways

to maim and kill,

while, for the Moroi, it's magic time.

Water, earth, fire, air.

You see, it's not just their diet

that makes the Moroi special,

and some are more special than others.

Our secret society

has its own government

that alternates leaders

from 12 royal families.

That's Queen Tatiana up top,

but my girl Lissa is in the mix.

You can see why the princess leaving

the academy was such a scandal,

and me helping her was worse.

Damn, back to Vampire Academy.

Please don't say Vampire Academy.

You know how I feel about the "V" word.

Sorry.

It's not like the drinking of

blood is your main source of sustenance.

No, wait, that's exactly what it is.

They just had to bring us back

in the middle of the night.

So not cool... 1:00 a.m.,

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