Uptown Saturday Night

-Sarah?

-Yes?

Would you mind living in the country?

Course not. You're forgetting

I was born in the country. It's in my blood.

Someday maybe we can move back

down South someplace.

I think that would be real nice, baby.

Okay, I'm going to keep that in mind.

-You know, I was just thinking.

-What?

About when we first met.

You were living on Somerset Street

with your sister, Lela.

I was a young girl,

fresh from the country then.

You had the biggest butt I ever saw.

-Steve, if you don't stop....

-But it's the truth. Good-looking behind.

Said to myseIf when I first saw it:

"She got to be from down home...

"because they don't make behinds

like that in the city."

Steve!

It's the truth.

Don't you men ever think

about nothing besides behinds?

-Legs and b*obs, but mostly behinds.

-Man!

I remember.

You sneaked through

the living-room window in the house...

with that crazy Charles...

-because he wanted to surprise Lela.

-Yeah, old Charles.

He was in a hurry to get home

from that war.

-He was your sister's first husband, right?

-No, honey, third.

You all looked so good in your uniforms,

especially you.

You know I didn't.

I was so tacky,

I didn't want you to see me.

I saw you. I couldn't miss that butt.

However, I knew the next time

you saw me, I'd have it together...

and you wouldn't be able to resist me.

Yeah, I knew it, too.

I took you out on our first date that night.

Yes, you did.

-Those were some beautiful days.

-Weren't they?

-Those walks we used to take in the park.

-You were the freshest man.

I was only doing

what a man's supposed to do.

-No, you were fresh, Steve Jackson.

-I wonder if that tree's still there.

You ain't no damn good, you know that?

I used to stop by that tree,

and we used to kiss.

-I don't want to hear it.

-I used to take you out by that tree...

and press you against it real hard

and you used to love it.

-Stop.

-No, it's the truth.

You'd hardly wait till I came and took you

to that tree and press you against it.

You used to say, "Steve, press me again! "

Steve, you know you lying.

You know you are.

-You couldn't get enough of that tree.

-Oh, man.

That was all an act.

-An act?

-Yes, siree.

-Sarah, you was hardly acting.

-Yes, I was, too.

You just didn't know what was going on.

I knew if I acted all shy and scared,

that would make you like me more.

-Woman, you can't fool me with no act.

-I see you married to me.

I got to admit you got me there, Sarah.

But if I had to do it all over again,

I wouldn't change a thing.

-You know something?

-What?

After 20 years of marriage,

two kids, and three jobs...

you still got the biggest butt I ever saw.

You're my queen, Sarah.

Thank you, my dear husband.

lt makes me very happy

to hear you say that.

Young blood.

-What's happening?

-Same old, same as old here.

Vacation starts today?

-You decided what you gonna do?

-I don't know.

Might walk the streets for two weeks...

bringing sunshine and brightness

to lonely dudes like you.

That's not funny.

-Come on. I'll buy you a drink.

-Okay.

How's your other job?

Rotten, boring, and underpaid,

but thank you, Jesus.

-Yes, Lord. Same here.

-Say, man, let's go to Zenobia's tonight.

-Where?

-Zenobia's.

You got to be crazy.

We ain't got that kind of money.

Will we ever? Come on, man.

I feel like cutting loose.

Bottle of beer costs $5 in that place.

You only live once.

What you say, homeboy?

Nothing doing. You ever been there?

Yeah...and no.

I dropped some people off with the cab...

but there be some fine mamas coming

in that place.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)