Underdog

[# Underdog theme]

[Man] Ladies and gentlemen,

this is Simon Barsinister,

the wickedest man in the world.

He was evil and crazy.

Simon and his wacky henchman, Cad,

schemed to rule the universe.

But each time they were foiled by me,

the greatest superhero

who ever lived... Underdog!

[Man] Ladies and gentlemen,

I come to you this evening

to discuss the growing problem

of crime in our city.

Here in front of me

are files of unsolved cases.

[Underdog] We're getting

ahead of ourselves.

That's me in the uniform.

I was raised, since I was just

a little puppy, to fight crime.

Never had a family

or a place to call home.

I was raised with one purpose

and one purpose only:

To help people, to keep them safe.

Nothing was going to stand in my way.

[Barks]

- [Man stops speaking]

- Easy, boy.

- HoWever, to the families involved...

- You got something, boy?

- [Barking]

- What Was that?

Alpha Dog has got a lock on the stage.

I think it's the boxes.

Criminals should not be alloWed

to keep their freedom.

- [HoWling]

- Clear the building!

[Man] We need SWAT here, now!

Please hurry, your honor.

[Man 2] Everybody out!

Blue team, go, go! Move!

[Electronic beeping]

No radiation.

No metal.

TWeezers, and We'll lift.

Easy. Right doWn the side.

Yeah. SloW. And slide.

I bet you didn't know

a beagle's sense of smell

is 55 times stronger than a human's.

[Sneezes]

Well, mine's not.

It's a gift from

the American Pork Association.

[Laughter]

I Want a full debrief, now.

[Laughter continues]

[Dogs barking]

[Dogs laughing]

Nice Work, rookie.

You found an exploding ham.

Quiet, I smell a bomb.

You! You should just

turn in your tags.

[Dogs continue laughing]

All right, I'll be honest with you.

I wasn't the best dog on the force.

In fact, I was probably the worst.

The ham was just

the latest of my mistakes.

Like the time I chewed the extension

cord and it was plugged in.

Or when I met that cute poodle

and it turned out to be a guy.

It's hard to feel destined for greatness

when you keep messing up.

But, destiny's a funny thing.

It'll creep up on you

when you least expect it.

Gotcha.

Last one for tonight.

[Dogs barking]

Excuse me.

Uh, there's been a big mistake.

I'm not a stray.

I shouldn't be in the pound.

This ain't no pound, son.

This place makes the pound

look like the dog park.

By day it's OK, but at night,

once everyone's left,

that's When the freaky stuff happens.

What kind of "freaky stuff?"

- What did they do to your hair?

- What's Wrong With my hair?

[Stammers] Nothing. Nothing at all.

You Were saying about

the "freaky stuff. "

All I'm saying is When the guy

in the White lab coat

pulls out the giant needle, run!

[Laughs maniacally]

[Whistling]

Hey.

Welcome to the graveyard.

Yeah, nice and quiet,

just like I like it.

Uh, sir, excuse me.

We're not open right now.

There's no access to the labs.

Oh, really? I'm sorry.

That's all right. Don't Worry.

Oh, Wait. What's this?

What does this say?

Uh... "All Access. " Sorry.

It's OK. You all make mistakes.

But I forgive you.

Because that's the kind

of person I am... humble.

A humble genius.

[Man] It's OK.

Let him in.

Please.

Again, I'm sorry, Dr. Barsinister.

- I'm terribly sorry.

- It's OK. HoW Were you to know

that I am the most important scientist

this company has?

You couldn't have.

[Elevator bell dings]

- [Barsinister] Who's the neW hire?

- Him? He, uh, used to be a cop.

I was thinking that maybe

We should take it easy

on the after-hours stuff.

You know? Clandestine.

A three-syllable Word? I'm impressed.

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