Trash Fire

1

MAN:
For as long as I can remember,

I'd been waiting for my parents to die...

...so I could commit suicide without feeling

an overwhelming sense of guilt.

And there they were...

...dead.

And I didn't have the guts

to go through with it.

Florence?

Florence?

Florence!

I'm pouring my guts out and you fall asleep?

I did. How does that make you feel?

Angry.

Okay, you know how some old people

are asked to stop driving?

It's not that most of them are incapable...

...it's just not particularly safe

for them to be on the road.

I mean, that just about sums up

how I feel about you as a psychiatrist.

It's time to throw in the towel.

I'm sensing a great deal

of hostility coming from you.

Go f*ck yourself, Florence.

You look nice.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Don't do this to me.

I told myself for the longest time

you were actually gonna grow up.

- I can't... I can't do this, I'm gonna go.

- Stop, okay, fine. Okay?

Don't go. I'll cut down on my drinking,

whatever you want.

We've been together for three years,

nothing's changed.

I need security in a relationship...

...and I don't get it from you anymore, Owen.

MAN:
Excuse me, ma'am, pardon my reach.

Thank you.

What am I still doing here?

You obviously don't care.

I don't even know what to say anymore.

Don't do that with your napkin.

There are real people here.

I need a girlfriend, not a second mother.

I'm supposed to be sexually

attracted to you...

...and right now you're not giving me

much to work with.

Happy f*cking anniversary.

(VOMITING)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(SCREAMING)

(POUNDING ON DOOR)

Isabel!

Okay.

Hey.

You're such an asshole.

You f*cked up last weekend.

Our anniversary sucked...

...and then you have a seizure,

and here I am taking care of you.

This looks pretty good.

Well, if it's not

and you value your life, lie.

Can I at least get some salt?

- No.

- Okay.

Hey, look on the bright side,

at least I didn't shit myself this time.

Oh, God, really?

It was only a little.

What is a girl like you

doing with a guy like me?

Working through my self-esteem issues

before planning my escape.

- Thank you.

- (BEEPING)

(BEEPING CONTINUES)

Isabel, do you hear that? What is that?

Is that the smoke detector?

It's fine. That's just the sound

it makes when the battery's low.

It makes a different beep when it's smoke.

Owen, just take the battery out.

I think I'm having a panic attack.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Sorry, we're late.

We didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

I'm a little short for time, so I took the

liberty of ordering for the three of us.

You're gonna love that French toast.

You mind if I say a prayer before we eat?

Give me your hand.

Dear God, thank you for this time

with my lovely sister...

...and her off-again, on-again boyfriend.

Please bless us and these gifts which we

are about to receive from Thy bounty...

...through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

- Do you mind if I say a few words?

- Please do.

Dark Lord of the Abyss,

we wish to become one...

That's not funny. That's not funny.

No one's laughing, because it's not funny.

So, Mom and Dad tell me

you're doing really well.

Congratulations on the promotion at work.

It's actually not a promotion,

it's just a pay raise, but thank you.

Well, you know what, at any rate,

I'm happy for you.

We're all so proud of you

and your little achievements.

- Everyone back home sends their best.

- Well, I miss everybody.

I talk to Mom and Dad on the phone pretty

much every day, but it's not the same.

I hope to come and visit you guys soon.

We would absolutely love that.

I hope you do that.

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