Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day

Synopsis: The boys return from jail to find the park has deteriorated, with a brand new park being created beside it. They attempt a series of get rich quick schemes and robberies, while a freshly drunk Lahey threatens to derail their plans.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Mike Clattenburg
Production: Screen Media
  1 win & 2 nominations.
102 min

That wasn't so bad!

Here I am...


I've got everything I want.

But it doesn't add up to shit.

'Cause I fell in love

with the wrong man.

Be careful who you love.

First thing I'm doing

when I get home.

I'm gonna rub some cat food

just on my cheeks like that.

Let all the kitties come up

and lick it off me.

There's no better feeling

than a little miniature

sandpaper-tongue kitty.

Well, they let everybody out,

you know, in 2 shifts.

There's a morning parole

and an afternoon parole.

I got morning parole. Thank God...

Ricky and Julian are getting out

this afternoon, hopefully,

if everything goes right.

Hi. My name's Julian.

Inmate number 212457.

Thank you for your time today.

Have a seat.

Name and prisoner number please?

You know who I fucking am.

And here's my goddamn number

right here.

Just read what they say right on me,

right here!

Well, Ricky, we've been--

Can you smoke in here?

This here's a certificate

for an auto body technician.

It's a course that I took in jail.


Let's get the f*ck going here,

get on with this and get me out.

'Cause I know

you're gonna let me out anyway.

It's 40 grand a year minimum

to fucking keep me here.

I've seen that on TV in jail.

It's overcrowded.

I didn't even do anything that bad.

Okay, sir. What I've put together

is a 4-year plan

for a business that I wanna open,

it's called Success Auto Body.


And I plan on opening up

the business in my trailer,

that was given to me

by my grandmother...

and turn it into an auto body shop.

I didn't get any diploma yet,

but I'm gonna be getting the grade 12.

Once you have that,

you can pretty much do anything.

Myself. I've learned my lesson.

And the only way to succeed in life

is to be legitimate,

and to stay away from crime.

Your friend Julian has convinced us

that he will be a success...

All right, in his business.

Well, I'm gonna work for him,

so that makes me a success, so--

It doesn't automatically.

It's a long road to success, sir.

Sir, it's gonna be 100% legitimate.

I will be a taxpayer as of today

if you grant me with this release.

There's no chance you might

find a way to, say,

chop a few cars in your spare time?

No, sir.

What's the right answer here, guys?

I'm gonna go get a job

or go fucking grow some dope

and sell a bit of dope

and support my family that way--

Excuse me?

I can tell you whatever

you wanna hear or be honest.

I'll grow dope,

that's what I'm good at.

I grow the best dope of anyone

I've ever met.

I've been looking through

these papers here

and it mentions

a fellow named Jim Lahey.

Trailer Park superintendent.

There seems to be

some ongoing problems with...

you and him.

Is this going to continue

when you come out of prison?

No, absolutely not.

Can I have a cigarette then?

Take him back to his seat!

Why don't you ask Darren

how high he is?

Just one drag! F*ck off and let me

have a cigarette!

Give those back!

You left them out to tease me!

Come on!

Just one little drag...

I'm never gonna give up on success.

That is the only thing that's on my mind

right now.

I'm never coming back to jail.

And I'm going to be successful.

Let's make sure

we don't see you here again.

Well, I came in on the bus,

you know,

with this vision of Sunnyvale

in my head,

and I get off the bus

and I'm fucking stunned!

I mean, it's demolished,

the trailers are down...

the grass is growing up,

garbage everywhere.

Fucking dogs eating out

of old garbage bags and lickin' things.

This is disastrous!

So I immediately, you know,

I wanted to go to my shed,

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Mike Clattenburg

Mike Clattenburg is a Canadian director (television & film), producer (television & film) and screenwriter. He is best known as a creator, executive producer, writer and director of the TV comedy series Trailer Park Boys, for his work with This Hour Has 22 Minutes (January–November 2004), and as the co-creator of the Adult Swim series Black Jesus. more…

All Mike Clattenburg scripts | Mike Clattenburg Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 25 Feb. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.