Top Gear

---

Hello! Thank you, everybody, thank you,

and welcome to what is a Top Gear Special,

a two-part adventure

around the heart of Africa.

We were each told to buy

a second-hand estate car

here in Britain for not more

than 1,500 quid.

And then we were told to report,

with our cars,

to the start line, which was

in a small village in rural Uganda.

So, you've seen Sir David

Attenborough's take on Africa,

now it's time to see ours.

'I was the first to arrive

and I was feeling a bit nervous.'

As you can see, I've gone for

a BMW 528i, and on the internet,

it looked fantastic.

But, I've now had the chance to

examine it more closely,

and one or two things are giving me

cause for concern.

For example, it's got a manual gearbox.

Now that tells me the previous owner

was the sort of chap that

likes to take it to the max

between gear changes.

Secondly, the front tyres are Pirellis,

the back tyres are made by a company

I've never heard of.

So that tells me

it's been run on a tight budget.

I don't know what the challenge

is going to be,

but I'm going to be doing it like that.

Hang on, that is the throb

of a turbocharged flat-4 engine.

A sound which, all over the world,

heralds the imminent arrival of a moron.

'And it did here, too.'

It's Richard Hammond, everybody,

who I suspect has started to dye his hair.

See what you think.

Hammond!

And there it is.

It is, yes.

Well, there can be only one word.

Legend. Subaru Impreza WRX estate.

And driven by emeritus professors

all over the world.

Yes, yes. No, no.

Just hang on. Here's my thinking.

I don't know what challenges face us

here, but think about it.

Subaru stands for

Toughest-Thing-On-The-Planet,

WRX stands for world rallycross,

which the Impreza just owned.

It's all there. Four-wheel-drive,

turbocharged estate.

But you're going to look stupid doing it.

I don't have to look.

I know I'm wearing double denim,

and that is a mistake,

but you've got Daktari trousers on,

and the wheels of the agri-yob.

Actually, it looks a bit like you.

What?

You know, small, and with

a sort of surprised expression.

"A tree!" Yes.

"A house!"

Well, then, that's perfect.

My face in that car.

Honestly, I'm so chuffed.

This time, I've done this right.

Big boot. Practical.

Practical?

So, what have you got?

528i, rear wheel drive, 2.8 straight-6.

How many miles has it done?

151,000. This, though, is the last

of the mechanical 5-series.

After this, they started using computers.

What, their solid state?

This is simple, mechanical

engineering. Anywhere, listen.

Yes?

James isn't here. No.

No surprises there.

I know for a fact what he's got.

Go on.

He'll have a Volvo.

Yeah.

He'll have gone... Yes, yes, yes.

Because you know he's got

no imagination at all.

'As it turned out, James did have a Volvo,

'but not the sort of Volvo

we were expecting.'

That isn't an 850 R, is it?

It is, it is!

That's a bold call!

Gentlemen. Yes?

You bought an 850 R?

It doesn't matter, it's a Volvo.

This defines the estate car. Nothing

else is an estate car, only this.

Have you seen the tyres on an 850 R?

Well, there aren't any.

It has tyres.

It's just a thin veneer of paint

on a wheel.

But they're high-performance tyres.

It's a high-performance car.

I know. It does 146mph.

Do you remember

British Touring Car Championships?

These were great fun to watch.

Yes. And they were on dirt tracks,

weren't they? No.

Racetracks. Yes.

Do you think when Volvo sat down to

the design the 850 R,

they said, "Now, Africa."

"We need to try

and get some market share over there,"

"so let's lower the suspension,

fit very low profile tyres."

They didn't think that in so many words,

but when you design a Volvo,

you design it for everything.

It doesn't look at home, does it?

That looks at home.

That looks at home on the M4

in the outside lane,

too close to the car in front,

being driven by an embittered

toner distribution manager.

He's right.

Let's be honest.

That's going to beach.

It's not. It is!

'As we argued, a challenge arrived.'

Hello.

Thank you.

"You will find

the source of the River Nile."

That's it? That's it.

So we're Livingstone, Burton and Speke!

Yes, we are.

And I have the right car!

Come on, for exploring.

If Livingstone was still alive...

He's not, is he?

No. Ken Livingstone is,

but it's not Ken Livingstone.

If the other, explorer Livingstone

bloke were alive,

he would drive a Subaru Impreza WRX estate.

Yeah, but Speke, my favourite of all

the Victorian explorers, Beemer man.

Was he? Yeah.

So do we just go that way?

Well, do you know,

I'd head downhill, personally.

No, no, uphill!

Right, uphill.

Looking for the source of a river, uphill.

Here we go.

The source of the...

The source of the River Nile.

The Nile, the longest river in the world.

A mighty 4,000-mile ribbon

of year-round water,

running from the heart of Africa

to the Mediterranean Sea,

bringing life and sustenance to millions.

Finding its source has occupied the minds

and claimed the lives of explorers

for thousands of years.

Roman legions, Arab traders,

the Victorian British.

All have forged a path through

the fast heat of this awe-inspiring

continent to find where the raging

torrent came from.

And today, we would join that

illustrious band of brothers.

We would take up the challenge

no matter what the perils,

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote