There's No Business Like Show Business

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There's no business

like show business

Like no business I know

Let's go on with the show

There's no business

like show business

Like no business I know

Yesterday they told you

you would not go far

That night you open

and there you are

Next day on your dressing room

They've hung a star

Let's go on with the show

You promised

That you'd forget me not

But you forgot to remember

When that midnight choo-choo

leaves for Alabam'

I got to catch that train

I'll be right there

I've got my fare

When I see that

rusty-haired conductor man

I got to find that man

I'll grab him

by the collar

And I'll holler

- Ala...

- Bam'

- Ala... '

- Bam...

That's where

you stop your train

That brings me back again

Down home

where I'll remain

Where my honey lamb

Am

I will be right there

with bells

When that old

conductor yells

All aboard

All aboard

for Alabamy

Board!

For Alabam'

For Alabamy

Board!

I'll be right there

with bells

When that

old conductor yells

All aboard

For Alabam'

When that midnight choo-choo

leaves for Alabam'

Stop!

In days of yore

before the war

When hearts now old

were young

At home each night

by firelight

Those dear old songs

were sung

Sweet melodies

and memories

Around my heart

still cling

That's why I like

to hear a song

Like mother

used to sing

Won't you play

a simple melody

Like my mother

sang to me?

One with good

old-fashioned harmony

Play a simple melody

Musical demon

Sets your honey

a-dreamin'

Won't you

play me some rag?

Just change that

classical nag

To some sweet

beautiful drag

If you will

play from the copy

Of a tune

that is choppy

You'll get

all my applause

And that is

simply because

I want to listen to rag

A...

Musical demon

Sets your honey

a-dreamin'

But won't you

play me some rag?

Just change that

classical nag

To some sweet

beautiful drag

If you will play

from a copy

Of a tune

that is choppy

You'll get all

my applause

And that is

simply because

I want to hear

some ragtime music

That's what

you want to hear

A sweet song with

a sigh and a tear

A good old

ragtime simple melody

"Peter Rabbit was a very bad

little rabbit,

"and that's why

Peter Rabbit

"was sent to bed

without his supper.

"But Flopsy, Mopsy,

and Cotton-Tail,

they had ice cream

and raspberry jam."

They say it's late.

How late?

I don't know.

They just said

it was late.

Well, I know that.

You didn't have to go

all the way over there

to find that out.

Don't yell at me, Molly.

I don't run the railroad.

Wake me up when

the train gets here.

Terry.

Already?

No. No. Terry,

this is a crummy way

to bring up kids.

Oh, Molly, don't start

sending the kids

back to your mother

just because

the train is late.

Steve ought to go

to school,

and they should be

sleeping in beds

instead of... oh,

it's just not right

keeping them up all hours

of the night like this.

I want them to have

an education,

a real education.

They have to learn

arithmetic and spelling

and geography.

You never went past

the sixth grade.

It was probably

the fourth grade

because you said

it was the sixth.

My age is the only thing

I lie about,

and I don't add on,

I take off.

All right,

the sixth grade,

but there's

nothing wrong

with your arithmetic.

You can whistle

Mandy

doing

Off To Buffalo

and count the house

at the same time

and tell me

within 5 cents

how much is

out there.

That's not arithmetic.

Darn right that's not.

That's higher mathematics.

Besides,

the welfare workers

are going

to crack down on us

wherever we go, just like

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