The Witches of Eastwick

1

You don't have to come

if you don't want to.

I want to, but I have

a million things to do first.

Mom, what's this?

- Peanut butter.

- Peanut butter and what?

Peanut butter and jelly.

What kind of jelly?

Zucchini jelly.

Five, six, seven!

How we doing?

We're doing fine, Walter.

I wish we could afford

to keep you full time.

So do I, especially now.

Hmm. ls the divorce final yet?

- Yes, today. Thank you.

- Hmm.

Let's put our heads together and

maybe we can work something out.

All right.

Uh, horns up.

One, two, three, four...

five, six, seven.

O beautiful for spacious skies

For amber waves of grain

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

Well, wonderful.

Thank you very much, Felicia.

We appreciate your taking the time

to be here with us today.

Ladies and gentlemen, a big hand

for our most prominent selectman...

or selectwoman or selectperson,

Felicia Alden.

Thank you, children and Mrs. Spofford.

I can see we have our work

cut out for us.

In these days of

disintegrating values...

and lost mores...

when our children

are exposed daily...

to the hazards of divorce, separation

and families torn asunder...

it's comforting to think back

to the days...

when a family like the Lenoxes

strove together.

Those values, embodied

in a man like Major Lenox...

They were men who labored

all their lives...

so their children would be

well-fed and clothed and educated.

The families endured great hardship...

Yet kept their honor...

their dignity and their faith in God.

We are the same people;

the same body, the soul...

the hands and the feet

of our fathers...

fighting the wars of modern vice.

What was it that tied

these people together?

What was it that made them...

not a loose gathering of individuals,

but a single bond?

That bond that held them together,

as it holds us together today.

That bond that has stood every test...

is found deep in our consciousness.

An abiding love of liberty.

For love of liberty, our forbearers...

colonies few in number and

with little to defend themselves...

fought the war for independence...

what was then the world's

most powerful empire.

For love of liberty...

those who came before us

tamed a vast wilderness...

and braved hardships...

Tamed a vast wilderness

and braved hardships...

which at times were

beyond the limit...

Braved hardships, which at times were

beyond the limit of human endurance.

Come on. Go with your morn. Go on.

Liberty must not be taken for granted.

We thank God for our blessings...

Oh, hi, come on in.

Janey, come on!

Do you believe it's raining?

Duh, no.

I mean, since this morning.

At least it shut Walter up.

The same boring, sanctimonious speech.

I thought he'd go on forever.

I was praying for something to happen.

- I was thinking the same thing.

- You were?

I was thinking we're all wet and

how nice it would be to just leave.

- Were you really?

- Yeah.

And then it rained.

He's a liar and a lech

and he deserved it.

No, I'm not talking about Walter.

Don't you think it's strange

that we were...

We were thinking the same thing

at the same time? So what?

It won't get us on David Letterman.

- I know, I...

- Let's just have a drink.

Good idea, Janey, party-baby!

You know, he made

a pass at me last week too.

- Walter? Oh, please.

- I can't even stand to think about it.

Be prepared.

He does not give up easily.

It was broad daylight and his wife

was standing ten feet away!

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)