The Whole Ten Yards

Synopsis: Thanks to falsified dental records supplied by his former neighbor Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky (Matthew Perry), retired hit man Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis) now spends his days compulsively cleaning his house and perfecting his culinary skills with his wife, Jill, a purported assassin who has yet to pull off a clean hit. Suddenly, an uninvited and unwelcome connection to their past unexpectedly shows up on Jimmy and Jill's doorstep: it's Oz, and he's begging them to help him rescue his wife from the Hungarian mob. To complicate matters even further, the men, who are out to get Oz, are led by Lazlo Gogolak (Kevin Pollak), a childhood rival of Jimmy's and another notorious hit man. Oz, Jimmy and Jill will have to go the whole nine yards--and then some--to manage the mounting Mafioso mayhem.
Director(s): Howard Deutch
Production: Warner Bros.
  1 win & 1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
98 min

Janni, Jimmy, get in here now!

I'm so tired of all the fighting.

You have no idea!

- He hit me first.

- He hit me first.

- Liar!

- I don't care who started it.

It has to stop.

I need you two to get aIong.

You understand that one day... will inherit my empire, yes?

- What's an empire?

- Shut up.

This will remind you that you

are two halves of one.

Together, you are more powerful

than apart. Yes?

What does this mean?

One day, you will find out.

Hey, seor.

- Freeze!

- Hi, honey.

Just vacuumed this rug, okay?

I got it all even.

Take your shoes off, please.

You know the rule.

Now, please, try not to scare Blanche.

Don't clunk. You're scaring her!

Look, you scared Blanche now, Jill. Jill!

Be done in a minute. Don't go in.

There's a surprise in there! Don't look.


Finished it up today.

lt's all our favorite hit men.

All our favorite hits.

Now, l don't think you ever met

Tony ''The Tooth.'' Capped him in Chicago.

l even got the hole in his head where

l whacked him with a 9- iron.

Santo ''Three Fingers.'' Remember

the rat that wouldn't shut up?

And, of course, Frankie Figs.

Who could forget Frankie Figs?

''Oh, wow, Jimmy, you shot me.''

- Poor Frankie.

- Jimmy.

- What?

- We need to talk.

l mean, l...

l just wanted everything to be perfect

for when the baby came. That's all.

That's what we need to talk about.

So how did the hit go?

- Good.

- Really?

- So you let him get away.

- No!

- Then he's dead?

- Yeah.

- Then what is it?

- l didn't kill him.

- But he is dead.

- At first, everything went smooth.

l did everything you said.

l had the taxi, l had the flowers.

Nobody even notices me.

l could have been invisible.

You have a problem getting in?

Oh, honey, l finally used my lock- pick set!

Like this, l was in there and

l'm waiting and l'm poised...

...l'm cool as a cucumber. All of a sudden,

the frigging guy's phone rings.

You flinched.

- l whip my gun around...

- You flinched!

...and l knock over his tomato sauce.

You must stay focused when

you are killing a person!

Then l've got this whole big mess.

The more I try to clean up,

the worse it gets.

Tomato sauce is a tough stain to get

out. You need a good grease cutter.

Then finally, I hear the

guy's key in the lock.

Now, let me guess:

your shotgun's out of reach.

So now I gotta think fast.

So I go for my gun...

...he slides across the floor and, well...

I would go into detail, but let's just say...

...he left the building.

I gotta say, if the guy's dead,

we gotta put this in the win column.

Same thing with Spiegelman.

He fell down an elevator shaft.

But you were running right

behind him just before he fell.

But I just wanna shoot someone!

All right, now. All right, now, baby.

Murdering another human being

can be a very moving experience.


I got an idea.

What do you say we go and kill

somebody, just us?

We'll find some drunk tourist, take him to

the beach and put three in his coconut.

What's your favorite gun?

- A.45.

- Great.

We'll make a big mess.

How does that sound, baby doll?

My roast.

- This isn't working.

- Oven's working fine, Jill.

No, this, this, Jimmy.

I married a contract killer,

not Martha Stewart.

Hey, I am in disguise, okay?

Yeah, well, your disguise is dumb.

I mean, look at yourself.

And what are you doing in disguise?

Everyone thinks you're dead.

Well, you never can tell, can you?

You are gonna sit and enjoy this meal.

I got this recipe from

Mrs. Sanchez next door.

This is a cilantro reduction.

Hey, watch your fingerprints!

- I spent the whole morning scrubbing.

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George Gallo

George Gallo, Jr. (born 1956) is an American screenwriter, film director, producer, painter and musician.He is best known for writing Midnight Run and 29th Street, and is an accomplished painter in the style of the Pennsylvania Impressionists. In 1990, he won the coveted Arts for the Parks award, and has had three one-man exhibitions in New York City. In 2010, he wrote and directed the film Middle Men starring Luke Wilson.He currently lives in Los Angeles. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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