The Wedding Ringer

(DIALING PHONE)

(PHONE RINGING)

SETH; (ON PHONE) Hello.

Hi. Seth?

Yeah?

Hey, there, it's Doug.

Um, I'm sorry.

Doug who?

Doug Harris.

You know, Doug Harris.

"Persian Rug Doug"?

"Chili Cheese Doug"?

"SPF 60"?

(LAUGHS)

Oh, of course, man.

SPF 60,

how are you, brother?

It's been a long time.

I, uh, know we haven't

spoken in a while

but I was actually

calling because

I've actually got

some really great news.

I'm getting married, bud. Wow!

That's amazing. Congratulations.

We're very excited and, in

fact, I'm doubly excited

because I'm calling

to see if maybe

you would want

to be my best man.

(SETH CHUCKLES WEAKLY)

Wow. Um, I mean,

this is a little bit awkward.

I feel like

we're not at that level.

It feels like we don't know

each other that well. You know?

No, I don't feel that way.

What about that...

Seth, what about that

weekend in Carlsbad Caverns?

I mean, that was

the 9th grade field trip.

The whole class went.

Can I give you the dates?

Maybe you just want to look into it.

(LINE DISCONNECTS)

Are you still there, Seth?

MAN 1:
I don't know

what to say, Doug.

I mean, I didn't

invite you to my wedding.

That's okay. That's okay.

Yeah, you can't invite

everyone that you want to.

Actually, we did invite

everyone we wanted to.

(LAUGHS) We had,

like, 400 guests.

Freshman year?

Your roommate?

MAN 2:
I heard you died.

No. No, that's Len Brophy.

I'm the other one.

Truth be told, uh, you're the

first person I thought of.

Is that a yes or a no?

Hola, Eduardo.

(LINE BEEPS)

RECORDING:
We're sorry.

You have reached a number

that has been disconnected,

or is no longer in service.

If you feel you have reached

this recording in error,

please check the number and

try your call again. (SIGHS)

(GROANING)

Ow!

(GROANING CONTINUES)

DOUG:
Stephen!

Tonight's the night

Hey!

Let's live it up

Let's live it up

I got my money

Roberta!

Let's spend it up

Let's spend it up

Go out and smash it

Smash it

DOUG:
Stephen!

Jump off that sofa

Come on

Let's get, get off

ls everyone

out of the office?

Maze! tov

L'Chaim

And then

we'll do it again

Timothy!

Let's do it

Let's do it,

let's do it, do it

Somebody!

Help!

And do it,

and do it

I can't feel

my fucking legs!

I gotta feeling

That tonight's

gonna be a good night

That tonight's

gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be

a good, good night

I gotta feeling

Whoo-hoo

That tonight's

gonna be a good night

That tonight's

gonna be a good night

That tonight's gonna be

a good, good night

Tonight's the night

Let's live it up

I got my money

Let's spend it up

Go out and smash it

Like, oh, my God

Jump off that sofa

ALL:

Let's get, get off!

Fill up my CUP

ALL:

Maze! tov!

Look at her dancing

Just take it

ALL:

Off!

Let's paint the town

We'll Shut it down

Let's burn the...

ALL:

Roof!

'Cause I gotta feeling

(MAN LAUGHING)

You have to know that. Okay.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

I ain't lying.

Yeah. I've always been a bit

of a hopeless romantic myself.

If our true match

exists somewhere,

it's our goal in life

to find her.

But, see, Andrew's a bit

more rational than me.

Andrew always believed

that "the one"

was a farce created

by musicians and Hollywood.

Until last December.

Andrew calls my cell phone

and he says,

"Remember all that

stuff I said about"

"there being no such

thing as 'the one'?"

He said, "Well, I was wrong.

Her name is Gina Baker."

"And she doesn't

know this yet,"

"but she's going

to be my wife."

GUESTS:
Aw.

And I knew at that moment

that this Gina Baker

was the luckiest girl

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