
The Way of the Gun
Hey. Yeah, you. Get up.
What are you, retarded?
Get off the fucking car!
Hey, dickless, get off
the fucking car!
Hey, fucksuck, get your slippery
fucking ass off the car!
Listen to me! Get off the fucking
car with your fucking ass!
Shut that cunt 's mouth, or I'll
come over and f*ck-start her head!
Do something. Go.
You're gonna wish you never
got up this morning, asshole...
because my boyfriend's gonna
f*ck you up. And then after that...
while he's fucking up your gay
uncle, I'll cut off your cock...
and mail it to your mother,
Gaylord fucking bitch! How do you
like that? A lot? Fucking faggot!
You like to ass-f*ck?
Want a fucking head-f*ck?
You like to f*ck baby heads?
You like to f*ck boys?
He'll f*ck you in the ass! He's not
even gay, but he'll do it just....
Honey. Honey.
She's got a big mouth, but she's not
kidding. I'm gonna whip you silly.
You want to do the man-dance?
First dance's yours.
Why would you pick a fight
with them? Why?! Look at me!
-Look at my fucking face!
-You're more beautiful than ever!
I'll call myself Mr. Parker.
My associate will be Mr. Longbaugh.
There is a natural order,
the way things are meant to be.
The order says the good guys always
win,you die when it's your time...
or you have it coming,
and the ending is always happy...
if only for someone else.
Our path had been chosen and we
had nothing to offer the world...
to petty crime or minimum wage.
So we stepped off the path...
and went looking for the fortune
that we knew was looking for us.
Once off the path,you do what
you can to eat, to keep moving.
You don't blow your chance with
nickel-and-dime. No comforts.
Need is the ultimate monkey.
A pint of your blood can fetch you
50 bucks. A shot of cum,3 grand.
You keep your life simple,
and you can literally self-sustain.
-What qualifies you as a donor?
-I'd say I'm a fairly intelligent...
good-looking man,
physically fit, stable.
Thank you, mister.
Heterosexual?
-Can I ask you something?
-Sure.
Are you a faggot? See, you asked me
if I was heterosexual.
I asked you the same, only I was
clear about the answer I wanted.
-I asked if you were heterosexual.
-I beg your pardon?
-I said I've never killed a man.
-I didn't ask you if you had.
-You asked why I was qualified.
as important for semen donation.
It 's a big fucking.... Excuse me,
a very important qualification.
-No one's ever said that before.
-Have you ever asked?
-No.
-You should.
Take Los Angeles, okay? If I say
that Los Angeles has become...
a Mecca for homosexual migration,
I'm right. But look at what I said.
I make it sound like faggots are
miscreants who need to move around.
I'm also likening them to Muslims,
or Muslims to them.
-"LA's full of faggots" is honest.
-Why is that a big deal?
-Nobody brings up necrophilia!
-Of course they don't. It 's sick.
-You brought it up. I didn't ask.
-You should.
"Faggot." Just say it.
-I can't say that.
-Funny. If I grab a woman's ass...
and she punches me,
she's fighting for her rights.
But if a faggot grabs my ass and
I punch him, I'm a homophobe.
-Let 's just move on.
-Are... you... a faggot?
Any trace of mental
illness in the family?
It 's not what you say anymore,
is it? It 's all in how you say it.
Yeah, can you hold on just a sec?
Where were we?
Okay, listen.
Let 's pretend you don't smoke and
and overlook the coke breakfasts.
Let 's imagine you get your life
together and get up before noon.
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Citation
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"The Way of the Gun" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 21 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_way_of_the_gun_21611>.