The Ugly Truth: The Art of Laughter - A Making of Hilarious Proportions

Synopsis: Bonus feature for the film 'The Ugly Truth' (2009).
Genre: Short
Year:
2009
298 Views


[KATY PERRY'S "HOT N COLD"

PLAYING]

You change your mind

Like a girl changes clothes

Yeah, you PMS

Like a b*tch

I would know

And you over-think

Always speak cryptically

I should know

That you're

no good for me

'Cause you're hot

Then you're cold

You're yes

Then you're no

You're in

Then you're out

You're up

Then you're down

You're wrong

When it's right

It's black

And it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

Are you alert?

Okay, well tell them...

But you don't really

Want to go

No.

You're yes

Then you're no

You're in

Then you're out

I'll be there in about

Okay, thanks. Bye.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

We used to be

Just like twins

So in synch

- Morning, Freddy.

- [FREDDY]:
Morning, Abby.

- You look awfully pretty today.

- Oh, is it that bad in there?

- Good morning. We got problems.

- Morning.

There are no problems, Joy,

only solutions.

The traffic camera is down

and we have no B-roll

for our traffic segment.

- That is a problem.

- Yeah.

Call Matt at Media Lab.

He's got some Skycams

and he owes me.

- Where are all my weathermen?

- Right here.

- [MAN]:
Hey.

- Hello.

Thank you all for coming.

You guys look great.

Thanks for being here. Good.

Is there a reason

they're all overweight?

If they get

the forecast wrong,

research shows people

are more willing

to forgive a fat guy.

Abby, I hate to do this to you,

but I don't think that

I can work with her anymore.

It's bad enough I have

to take her criticism at home.

I'm not gonna

do it on the air.

- A man can only endure so much.

- Larry, you are not a man,

you are a newsman.

And newsmen are not defined

by the easy times,

they're defined

by the hard times.

Can you imagine

Ted Koppel or Tom Brokaw

working with their

wives as co-anchors? No.

Because they

couldn't handle it.

But you.

You, my friend,

have balls the size

of Volkswagens.

Don't think

I haven't noticed.

I only thought of them

as blue of late.

But you're right.

They're quite sizeable.

But not disproportionately

so,

I like to think of them

as aesthetically pleasing.

Yeah, I think

I made my point.

- Are you kidding me right now?

- Josh, nobody in Sacramento

gives a crap about

the extinction rate

of the Brazilian slug worm.

It's not newsworthy.

All right. But knowing which

celebutante is in rehab

is of vital importance?

You know, the sound

of your voice makes...

Okay. He is trying to kill me.

- He knows I can't eat crab.

- It's Crab Rangoon.

Who doesn't eat Crab Rangoon?

Oh, my God. Does anybody

see this? Is that a hive?

[JOSH]:

Looks like syphilis to me.

[DORI]:
You wouldn't know

what syphilis looks like

if it weren't for my story

on hot celebrity STDs.

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

- [MAN]:
Stand by to go to three.

- [ROCCO]:
Yeah, so some...

Cacciatore gets mushrooms,

garlic. Exactly.

- Yeah. Put the mushrooms in.

- [GEORGIA]:
All right.

[ROCCO]:
And whatever amount

of garlic you want.

- [LARRY]:
Really?

- [ROCCO]:
Can't have enough garlic.

[GEORGIA]:

You can.

LARRY:
I certainly can.

Do it every night.

[ROCCO]:
I got a nice,

big spoon for you.

[GEORGIA]:

Excellent. Thanks.

- Here you go.

- Mm.

- Mm!

- That good?

I have to say, Rocco,

this is the best chicken

cacciatore I've ever tasted.

I knew you'd like it.

It's duck cacciatore, actually.

- [CLIFF]:
Oh, no.

- Did he just say "duck"?

And it's a great

alternative to chicken.

It kind of tastes

just like chicken, right?

- Mm-hm.

- Duck, like "quack, quack" duck?

Get ready to an early break.

Yeah.

- Whoa, duck.

- Yeah.

Man, we're a

chicken household.

[LAUGHS]

We really are.

Tell Larry to throw it to Javier

while she pulls it together.

Or is it okay?

It's good.

Javier, do you like it?

Mm.

Can I take home

the leftovers?

You sure you don't want

any leftovers?

When we return,

- our Skycam traffic update.

- Okay.

And guess who's

in rehab this week.

CLIFF:
Stand by to roll break.

Also, how you too can adopt

your very own slug worm,

when we come back.

Roll your break.

ROCCO:
How about salt?

Salt make it better?

[MUTTERING]

I don't know how you do it.

It's just a matter of looking

chaos right in the eye

and telling it to eff off.

You guys did great.

Thank you.

I think it's time for a new chef

on this show. I do.

Now, come on.

Rocco's been with us...

- Abby?

- It's this upsetting?

Hey, Stuart wants to see you.

He's freaking out.

Oh, he got the ratings.

- Want some?

- Yeah, give me that.

Have you seen the ratings

from yesterday?

We got beat by all

the network shows,

including a rerun of

Who's the Boss?

The one where

the vacuum breaks.

It's just a temporary setback,

Stuart.

Things will be better

tomorrow.

You know that guy

with the cable-access show

on Channel 83 does better.

If we program

Jerry Springer reruns,

we'd do a nine-share

at a quarter of the price.

Please don't tell me

you're thinking

of killing the show.

We're not a family-run station

anymore, Abby.

I mean, I love you.

You're great at what you do.

But you gotta

get me some numbers.

I got two daughters in college

and a son in beauty school.

I don't know how much

you know about Vidal Sassoon,

but that sh*t ain't cheap.

[SIGHS]

I can rally. I will rally.

You do rally.

Every day, Abby.

But that's

what worries me.

That even you

won't be enough.

I should not be letting

corporate management

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Ugly Truth: The Art of Laughter - A Making of Hilarious Proportions" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_ugly_truth:_the_art_of_laughter_-_a_making_of_hilarious_proportions_22452>.

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