The Ugly Truth: The Art of Laughter - A Making of Hilarious Proportions
- Year:
- 2009
- 298 Views
[KATY PERRY'S "HOT N COLD"
PLAYING]
You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah, you PMS
Like a b*tch
I would know
And you over-think
Always speak cryptically
I should know
That you're
no good for me
'Cause you're hot
Then you're cold
You're yes
Then you're no
You're in
Then you're out
You're up
Then you're down
You're wrong
When it's right
It's black
And it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
Are you alert?
Okay, well tell them...
But you don't really
Want to go
No.
You're yes
Then you're no
You're in
Then you're out
I'll be there in about
Okay, thanks. Bye.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
We used to be
Just like twins
So in synch
- Morning, Freddy.
- [FREDDY]:
Morning, Abby.- You look awfully pretty today.
- Oh, is it that bad in there?
- Good morning. We got problems.
- Morning.
There are no problems, Joy,
only solutions.
and we have no B-roll
for our traffic segment.
- That is a problem.
- Yeah.
Call Matt at Media Lab.
He's got some Skycams
and he owes me.
- Where are all my weathermen?
- Right here.
- [MAN]:
Hey.- Hello.
Thank you all for coming.
You guys look great.
Thanks for being here. Good.
Is there a reason
they're all overweight?
If they get
the forecast wrong,
research shows people
are more willing
to forgive a fat guy.
Abby, I hate to do this to you,
but I don't think that
I can work with her anymore.
It's bad enough I have
to take her criticism at home.
I'm not gonna
do it on the air.
- A man can only endure so much.
- Larry, you are not a man,
you are a newsman.
And newsmen are not defined
by the easy times,
they're defined
by the hard times.
Can you imagine
Ted Koppel or Tom Brokaw
working with their
wives as co-anchors? No.
Because they
couldn't handle it.
But you.
You, my friend,
have balls the size
of Volkswagens.
Don't think
I haven't noticed.
I only thought of them
as blue of late.
But you're right.
They're quite sizeable.
But not disproportionately
so,
I like to think of them
as aesthetically pleasing.
Yeah, I think
I made my point.
- Are you kidding me right now?
- Josh, nobody in Sacramento
gives a crap about
the extinction rate
of the Brazilian slug worm.
It's not newsworthy.
All right. But knowing which
celebutante is in rehab
is of vital importance?
You know, the sound
of your voice makes...
Okay. He is trying to kill me.
- He knows I can't eat crab.
- It's Crab Rangoon.
Who doesn't eat Crab Rangoon?
Oh, my God. Does anybody
see this? Is that a hive?
[JOSH]:
Looks like syphilis to me.
[DORI]:
You wouldn't knowif it weren't for my story
on hot celebrity STDs.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
- [MAN]:
Stand by to go to three.- [ROCCO]:
Yeah, so some...Cacciatore gets mushrooms,
garlic. Exactly.
- Yeah. Put the mushrooms in.
- [GEORGIA]:
All right.[ROCCO]:
And whatever amountof garlic you want.
- [LARRY]:
Really?- [ROCCO]:
Can't have enough garlic.[GEORGIA]:
You can.
LARRY:
I certainly can.Do it every night.
[ROCCO]:
I got a nice,big spoon for you.
[GEORGIA]:
Excellent. Thanks.
- Here you go.
- Mm.
- Mm!
- That good?
I have to say, Rocco,
this is the best chicken
cacciatore I've ever tasted.
I knew you'd like it.
It's duck cacciatore, actually.
- [CLIFF]:
Oh, no.- Did he just say "duck"?
And it's a great
alternative to chicken.
It kind of tastes
just like chicken, right?
- Mm-hm.
- Duck, like "quack, quack" duck?
Yeah.
- Whoa, duck.
- Yeah.
Man, we're a
chicken household.
[LAUGHS]
We really are.
Tell Larry to throw it to Javier
while she pulls it together.
Or is it okay?
It's good.
Javier, do you like it?
Mm.
Can I take home
the leftovers?
You sure you don't want
any leftovers?
When we return,
- Okay.
And guess who's
in rehab this week.
CLIFF:
Stand by to roll break.Also, how you too can adopt
your very own slug worm,
when we come back.
Roll your break.
ROCCO:
How about salt?Salt make it better?
[MUTTERING]
I don't know how you do it.
It's just a matter of looking
chaos right in the eye
and telling it to eff off.
You guys did great.
Thank you.
I think it's time for a new chef
on this show. I do.
Now, come on.
Rocco's been with us...
- Abby?
- It's this upsetting?
He's freaking out.
Oh, he got the ratings.
- Want some?
- Yeah, give me that.
Have you seen the ratings
from yesterday?
We got beat by all
the network shows,
including a rerun of
Who's the Boss?
The one where
the vacuum breaks.
It's just a temporary setback,
Stuart.
Things will be better
tomorrow.
You know that guy
with the cable-access show
on Channel 83 does better.
If we program
Jerry Springer reruns,
we'd do a nine-share
at a quarter of the price.
Please don't tell me
you're thinking
of killing the show.
We're not a family-run station
anymore, Abby.
I mean, I love you.
You're great at what you do.
But you gotta
get me some numbers.
I got two daughters in college
and a son in beauty school.
I don't know how much
but that sh*t ain't cheap.
[SIGHS]
I can rally. I will rally.
You do rally.
Every day, Abby.
But that's
what worries me.
That even you
won't be enough.
I should not be letting
corporate management
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"The Ugly Truth: The Art of Laughter - A Making of Hilarious Proportions" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_ugly_truth:_the_art_of_laughter_-_a_making_of_hilarious_proportions_22452>.
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