
The Tuxedo
(0.00 / 0 votes)(water splashes)
(lilting melody played
on acoustic guitar)
(violins join in)
(French horns playing)
(trumpets join in)
(water gurgling)
(water gurgling)
(water gurgling)
(music soaring)
(music stops)
(espionage-flavored
techno-pop intro)
(water gurgling)
over techno beat)
# #
# #
# #
# #
# #
# #
(theme music ends)
Come on.
WOMAN:
Central Security Agency.
This is Wallace.
Operation Big Drip
I need Devlin.
I need him now.
WOMAN:
Hold, please.
No, no, don't put me on hold!
- (dialing)
- Mother...
(groaning)
(whooshing)
(retching)
(gurgling)
WOMAN:
Hello, Agent Wallace.
I need your nine-digit
security code, please.
Hello? Agent Wallace?
Agent Wallace?
(phone beeps off)
Agua la vista... baby.
MAN:
Hello, my name's Jimmy Tong
and I was wondering
if there's anything I could say
to have lunch with me.
MAN 2 (imitating woman):
Oh, Jimmy, you're so cute.
Let's go back to your apartment
and make like... donkey.
You got me nervous again.
It's just a salesgirl.
To you... but, to me...
I dream of her
before I ever saw her.
No, that there! That!
Shh.
That is the line.
Go tell her that. That line.
Listen.
Hi.
My name is Jimmy Tong.
When I see you,
I have a wet dream.
Is that what I say?
No, no, you know...
just ask her out to lunch now
and later,
we work out that line.
But hurry up, man.
We be wasting time, man.
Come on. We have to drive.
(anxious sighing)
And whatever you do,
do not be yourself.
Just joking.
(sighs)
WOMAN:
Thank you so much.
You're welcome. Good-bye.
(sighs)
I can do it.
Hi. My name's Jimmy Tong.
Okay...
(exhales)
Hi.
Hi.
Pretty colors.
Will you excuse me
for just one moment?
Okay.
(anxious sighing)
Ah...
Just between us guys...
you don't come around
here for the art, do you?
Who would?
Heh. Yeah.
Uh... let me,
as owner of this gallery
give you a little bit
of friendly advice.
Don't waste any time.
You go over there and
you ask Jennifer out.
You think so?
Yes. That way, she can say no
and we can get on
with our little lives.
Thank you for your advice.
Yeah.
Hello. My name Jimmy Tong.
What can I say to convince you
to have lunch with me?
("Love's Theme" disco music
playing)
(groaning)
Oh!
(groaning in pain)
I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
I'm terr... I didn't...
(growling)
(howling)
Come here, you little runt.
(gasping)
Hi. Hello.
(growling)
(woman screams)
(honking)
Get back here! Come here!
Where'd you go?
Where are you?
Sauer... sauerkraut
or sauercrop?
Sauerkraut?
(roaring)
(clanks)
(grunting)
Hey... hey, hey!
Hey! I just washed that car.
What the hell
wrong with you, boy?
Want I jam this in your ass
and break it?
You want a go? Come down here.
Whoa, whoa, wait, oh.
Not too fast.
- Not too fast.
- (tire iron clanks)
Hey, I just want to talk.
Eh, eh, you do that
there, man. You do that.
Oh, you're scared now.
(clucking)
Just-just go
and get yourself
some training wheels!
Go get a tattoo of a chicken!
Go!
I thought all your
people know karate.
Not everybody Chinese
is Bruce Lee.
Just calm yourself, eh,
Jimmy, calm yourself.
Just not my day.
Whoo! Wow.
Do you think you can get me
to 70 Fleming Street?
Of course. Wait a second.
(metallic thumping)
(blowing)
You Jimmy Tong?
That's who I am.
Who are you?
The name is Steena.
So, how come you drive so fast?
More fares.
Mmm. Is that why
you had your license
suspended nine times
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"The Tuxedo" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 4 Feb. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_tuxedo_22375>.
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