The Survivors

Synopsis: Sonny Paluso and Donald Quinelle are two unfortunate people who have just lost their jobs; Sonny's gas station has been blown away and Donald has just been fired by his boss's parrot! But that day, their lives change when they prevent a robber from holding up a bar, and they become heroes. Unfortunately, Jack (the robber) gets away, and when he sees Donald's face on the TV, he decides to go after them. In the meantime, Donald becomes obsessed with guns and leaves for the mountains to join a survivalist group...
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Michael Ritchie
Production: Sony Pictures Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
103 min

- Mr. Quinelle.

- Morning, Betty.

Mr. Stoddard wants to see you.

- Me?

- You can go right in.

Mr. Stoddard?

Mr. Stoddard, sir?

Mr. Stoddard?


Good morning, Donald.

You have been a valuable asset

to this company.

So this is not easy for me to say.

You're fired.

Mr. Stoddard, you can come out now

and have your laugh. Mr. Stoddard?

Do you have a peanut or a cracker?

No, zip.



There's a parrot in there.

I got fired by a parrot.

Wow, that's wonderful.

I didn't know the old man had

a sense of humour. Where is he?

He's gone during reorganization.

- Reorganization?

- We'll miss you, Mr. Quinelle.

Your final check.

You can use the company car...

...until the end of the month.

Come on, a bird can't fire me,

I'm upper management.

They can't fire me.

Yes, he can.

Could you get him on the phone?

- I'm not to bother him.

- Get him on the phone.

- I can't.

- Get him on the phone, Betty.

I've worked here eight years...

- Don't make me use it.

- You're overreacting.

I'm sick of everyone griping.

No one cares... Mr. Stoddard feels.

- How does he feel?

- He's got an ulcer.

- I'd be upset too.

Each person he fires

is a nail in his coffin.

You don't how hard he worked

to teach the bird.

Why not have it

take a dump on me?

You'd rather get a cold,

inhuman printout?

I hope you don't mind me saying this,

but you're an ungrateful turd.

Twelve years of doing business

doesn't mean anything?

You can close me up, just like that?

You're not closing me up.

You're just cutting deliveries.

I'm a gas station. What will my

customers do? Push their cars in?

I know all about free enterprise

and the American way.

I fought a war for all that.

What war? The big one: Korea.

Well, it was big to me.

They put you on hold as

soon as they don't want you.

Hello? Hello?

Excuse me, it's my first time here.

Where do you get a blue card?

Blue car?

- Card.

- Card.

Yes, sir.

My green card I leave

in my other pants.

You don't speak...

I'd better help you, I think...

I love America.

Isn't it?

Thank you. Thank you.

Excuse me, I just have one question.

Do you mind if I hop in line?

No. Do you mind if I bite off

your nose and stick it up your ass?

I have told you, Mr. Paluso,

why you're not eligible.

I paid into unemployment...

...for the 12 years that I owned

the station. So I...

An owner cannot be unemployed.

Only an employee can be unemployed.

I do not make the rules.

Since I paid that money and

nobody's collected, why...?

I'm terribly, terribly, terribly,

unable to help you.

Who else can I talk to?

Your supervisor or the assistant?

You may get a form in line " C"

and take it to window " F"...

I won't stand in any more lines.

I've stood on line since 8 a. m.

Six hours it took me

just to see you.

I'll sit here until someone

who can help me shows up.

- I ask you politely to leave.

- You can't treat people like cattle.

Excuse me.

- For the last time, leave.

- No.

I'm not going until I get

a logical answer.

What the hell? Jesus! Goddamn it!


More coffee, hon?


Could you cut that out

or go someplace else?

Excuse me?

The moaning, the noises.

The moaning noises you're making.

It's getting to me.

I don't know who you hear moaning,

pal, but I don't moan.

Must have been somebody else.

- I'm not a moaner.

- Forget it.


It wasn't a moan.

I was just clearing my throat.

I was just, I was...

A person can clear his throat.

I'm not the most sensitive guy,

but I can see you've got some trouble.

It would help you

to unload it on somebody.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Michael Leeson

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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