The Spat

Synopsis: A couple, Val and Lon, on a date at a restaurant start to argue. When the verbal tiff escalates, other diners become annoyed by the fight. But when tensions boil over, its revealed that the couple has a supernatural, and lethal secret.
Genre: Comedy, Horror, Short
6 min




Bernadette, are you asleep?


Did you hear that?


A spy. I'm certain.

I saw him.

He's looking for the designs.

Let's go.

-Let's go.

Go on.

Not through there, through there.

Oh, it's the cat.

Open up. It's me.

-I'll boil him.

Open up. Open up.

-It's not a burglar. It's the idiot.

Yes, the idiot.

What are you doing there?

-I was patrolling.

Better cover yourself.

-So did you see anybody?

Yes, you, but it was too late.

-He was only following orders.

He's a fool. A fool.

I don't want it.

Doctor's orders.

-He's an asshole.


-For coming on to you.

Swallow this. -No.



-We've been married for 23 years.

I've been your wife as a girl

and I've been your wife as a woman.

I admire you and I love you,

but now I'm tired.

I can't sleep.

-Just count your workers.

One worker, two workers...

...three workers, four workers...

...five workers...

It has to smoke more.

We need to pollute.


-For my Japanese.

The little one.


No, no, that one's mine.

The neighbours will be happy.

I don't care.

Leave Arthur in peace.

-Where are you?

Here. In front of you.

-But where?

The lunch!

-Yes, it will be ready.

But there's 12 of them.

-Don't worry.

Where's the fog gun?

-On the hill.

They'll fire in half an hour.

-What's the signal?

We'll wave a white handkerchief.

-Yes, we'll go like this.

Come with me.

Did you get me the sole and the pollack?

-Yes, Mrs. Daubray.

What's the recipe called?


I don't know that.

-It's plated raw.

With cider vinegar and soy.

I'm sure that's your husband again.

-Yes, that's my husband.

My Japanese buyers. Look.

-Take it easy, boss.

I know this road.

I can see it clearly.

I'm here.

They're Japanese.

-My Japanese!

Excuse us. We're lost.

-I'm sorry. Where's the president?

He's there.

Mr. President! Mr. President!

Give me your hand.

-Come here.

I can't. My suit.

Sir! That's not the president.

It's the other one.

Mr. President, wait.

I'm Mr. Daubray-Lacaze.


-To the car, my good President.

This is the famous CX22...

...for which you made the trip.

No pictures. No pictures!

No pictures.

No pictures.

What were you doing?

Photo finished.

My CX22 cleans up all noxious fumes...

...dust, mist, noxious particles...

...exhaust fumes... all the pollution...

...that we inhale in the cities.

It does this within an area of 4 km.

Let's give a demonstration.

There we are!

The president asks where all the fumes go.

-They're completely disintegrated.

What's he saying?

-Hei means Ah!

What's he saying?

The president wants to buy.

-To my office!

What's that?

Windmill with accumulator.

I use the accumulator. Breathe.

In the morning, you put it in the window.

The wind blows. It charges.

And in the evening, you have electricity

until the next morning,

To my office!

Solar oven.

He's buying.

-To the office!

And that?

-This is where it started, 50 years ago.

I was really young.

And I made it all.

He wants to buy.

-No, I couldn't. To the office!

Mr. President, for how

much are you buying?



-3000! Let's sign right away.



A pen, please.

Oso disi doso.

Lunch is served.

Sit down, gentlemen.

Mr. President, please sign here.

The president will sign...

...the contract after lunch.

French cuisine's excellent.

No, not that.

Bernadette, the calvados.


-The calvados.

But Guillaume, the culinary arts...

-Yes, but business...

The shot of calvados

is a French tradition.

Much like hara-kiri is an old

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    "The Spat" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 16 Apr. 2021. <>.

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