The Small Back Room


Excuse me.

This is Park Lane House?

The assignments are ready, Major.

No, no, no. Fill in all 15 forms

and resubmit... in triplicate.

- My name is Stuart. I have an appointment with Professor Mair.

- Captain Stuart, sirl

The professor is expecting you, sir.

Come this way, sir, if you please.

- Turn seven, miss.

- All right, Sergeant Major.

Professor Mair, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

I think there's some...

somebody at the door.

Mmm. Ask him to come in.

Come in!

Captain Stuart, sir.

All right, Sergeant Major.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

You better sit down.

Yes, Taylor. I think you're right.

- I think you're right.

- Thank you, sir.

Professor Taylor's my star pupil with fuses.

Eh, Taylor?

Well, what can we do for you and Strang?

Well, sir, it's a bit top secret, sir.

Oh. Leave us, will you, Taylor?

We'll go on with that later.

- Unless you want to get home.

- Oh... Oh, no, sir.

- Quite sure your wife won't mind?

- No, sh-she'll be all right, sir.

Taylor, put the light on, will you?

SoJerry's dropping

a new secret weapon, is he?

So secret...

we don't know what it is...

or whether he is dropping it or not.

- You got one with you?

- I wish I had.

What I really want, sir,

is a bit of expert guessing...

and some expert advice on how to handle it

when we get our hands on one.

Sammy Rice is your man.

That you, Susan?

Send Sammy up, will you?

- He's gone, Professor Mair.

- Pity.

- Shall I try to round him up?

- Yes.

I'm sending a Captain Stuart down.

Try and get him together

with Sammy tonight, will you?

- I'll try.

- And send up old Taylor.


Professor Mair wants you, Taylor.

- Can I come in?

- Captain Stuart?

I'm just ringing Mr. Rice's flat.

Thank you.

There's always something wrong

with this line.

One more chance.

Check here for a bottle ofbrandy. Okay, guv?

I don't care if he is Free French. You gotta pay

cash like everybody else. The Lord Nelson.

- Hello. Is Mr. Rice there?

- Oh, is that you, Miss Susan? Yes, he's here.

- He's there.

- Where?

- I'll take you.

- I say, that's awfully nice of you.

It's not far out of my way.

- Don't let him go, Knucksie. I'm picking him up.

- Trust me.

When can we discuss that, Mr. Moran?

- We'll get around to it.

- Oh!

- I'm dry, Mr. Moran.

- Hey, steam engine's dry. Miles.

- "Propritaire. "

- Hey, Knucksie.


- Hey, Dolly.

- Okay, let's have a drinkl

Message for ya.

She says you're to wait.

How's the foot?

- Which one?

- The tin one.

I saw you kicking at it just now.

Yeah. Well, I've gotta do something.

I can't take it off in here, can I?

- Tried dope?

- You won't give me the dope I need.

No more whisky for you, Mr. Rice.

Not in my bar.

- You can't take whisky.

- No, don't go, Knucksie. Stay and talk.

Mr. Rice, how can I?

Knucksie, whisky or conversation.

One or the other,

or I start to break the place up.

Miss Susan will be here in a minute.


Pardon, mum.

Captain Stuart, Mr. Rice.

- Drink?

- Well, uh...

- I know her tipple.

- Bitter for me.

- The usual, Knucksie, and a bitter.

- Right.

- Mair sent him on to you.

- Oh.

What's it all about?

I'm sober.

It's a bit hush-hush.

All right.

How about my flat?

I'll make you some coffee.

- Well, put me in the picture.

- Yes.

I know it's all a lot of rot, but, um...

Is, uh... Is this what you want?


Well, what's happened is

a kid's been killed in an explosion.

Found a dart

and hit it with a hammer?

We don't think it was quite like that.

We think the kid may have

simply picked it up...

or perhaps only touched it.

Well, why all the cloak-and-dagger stuff?

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"The Small Back Room" STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 12 Dec. 2019. <>.

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