The Skeptic

[horror music playing]

The Skeptic

[continue horror music playing]

[police radio chatter]

[crickets chirping]

- Miss Diver?

It's Deputy Lara, Ma'am.

Got a phone call from this house.

Somebody hung up.

Everything all right?

Miss Diver?

Somebody in there?

I can hear you, you know.

Miss Diver, is that you?

[wind whistling]

Jesus!

[very loud horror music playing]

- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

My aunt died.

- Did she?

- Yeah, they just found her.

Looks like her heart.

- Oh, God, that's awful.

- Look at the bright side.

We got the house.

- What is the matter with you?

- come on, Robin.

Don't suddenly act like we were all close.

That woman was cold as hell to us.

- That's not the point.

- What is the point, Robin?

The point is, when someone just dies,

it's not a time to bad-mouth them.

It's a time to say a prayer

and count your own blessings.

- I am counting' my blessings.

I get the house.

- Marlene Diver was not a great catholic.

But she was a great bingo player.

[laughter]

But I'm guessing God will take her,

because where it counted,

she loved her neighbour

with the best of them.

- You've got to be kidding' me.

He doesn't show up

for his own aunt's funeral?

- He's in mourning.

He's just probably running' a little late.

- He looks in a good mood.

Someone should make sure he knows

that she didn't pull through.

- He's very strong, Carl.

- Hello, Carl.

- Sorry for your loss, Bryan.

- What?

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

It's a sad day.

So what'd I miss?

- Her eternal soul

being lifted up into heaven.

- Oh, sh*t.

I really wanted to catch that.

Hey, do you want to take a ride

with me later?

I'll drop you back.

- Where?

- My aunt's house.

I just got the key

from the sheriff.

- Thank you.

I may stop by.

Bryan Becket.

- Thank you for doing this, Father.

She would've appreciated it.

- Well, at least she came on time.

You don't take any of this seriously,

do you?

- What?

- Religious ritual, the church.

- Hey.

I'd love to take the church seriously,

but it's kind of hard

with the Pope running' around

wearing' those hats.

[laughter]

- You want to know what I think

your problem with death is?

- Not really.

- You don't believe in anything, you know?

You don't believe in a higher power.

You don't believe

in the afterlife, nothing'.

- You're right.

Life would be easier if I were gullible.

- You think I'm gullible, Becket?

- Sully, you believe in everything.

- I don't believe in everything.

- Yes, you do.

- No.

- Okay, didn't you once tell me

you believed in the Loch Ness monster?

- They're going to catch that sucker.

You'll see.

Scottish scientists went down

in that lake using sonar, Beck.

- And their results were inconclusive.

- Wrong!

They picked up a large moving mass

changing directions in organic patterns.

So what else could it be?

- I don't know.

I don't know what the military

was covering up at Roswell.

Does that make it aliens?

- No, but alien bodies

on the ground made it aliens.

- You know what your problem is, Sully?

- What?

- You were raised Catholic.

- Oh, here we go.

- Really, I mean it.

How big a stretch can it be

believing in the Loch Ness monster

once you bought the Holy Trinity?

There it is.

- Oh, my God.

It's a monster.

She lived there alone?

I wouldn't be caught dead

alone in there.

Creep me out.

- I can't wait to get in there.

Hear there's all kinds of antiques,

even a wine cellar.

- You hear?

Oh, that's right.

This is the aunt that didn't like you,

so she never invited you over.

- I don't care if she didn't like me.

She's dead now.

I'm inviting' myself over.

- Yeah, but why didn't she like you?

- Don't know.

- You know, I got to admit,

I find this all very, very intriguing.

- Yeah, well you also find

astrology intriguing, and it's not.

- [whistles]

Wow.

How rich was she?

- She wasn't rich.

This house is the last

of the old family money.

- Yeah, but it's yours to sell, right?

- Yep.

- You know, I heard about all

the great parties she used to have up here.

You were never invited,

not even once?

- Look at this.

This is a genuine Iroquois vase

just sitting here.

- Did you offend her in some way

to insult her religious beliefs

or something'?

'cause, you know,

you're known for that.

- The woman wasn't religious, Sully.

- She went to church every Sunday, Bryan.

- Yeah, so did all those people in Salem

who burned the witches.

- Yeah, right there, that comment?

That's the kind of thing that might

offend someone that was human.

- I wasn't offensive, Sully.

I was sweet and thoughtful,

and I was the lawyer in the family.

Get you out of a parking ticket,

manslaughter, whatever you need.

Solid mahogany.

- Yeah, but, you know,

something still doesn't add up, you know?

You got your classic mystery here.

Don't you see that?

- Yeah, it's right up there

with crop circles.

- Okay.

You know what?

I don't care how high

your IQ test scores were.

You lack common curiosity,

and that's a flaw.

It is.

And I've got it.

You know,

I'm curious all day long.

I'm like a two-year-old.

- You want to hear my theory

on my aunt?

- You have a theory?

- I don't think she was the saint

that everybody thought she was.

I think she was hiding something

about herself or about her past.

And she feared being around

someone like me,

someone who was smart

and shared her blood.

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