The Singing Detective

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That the guy

That's the guy.

Does he get

to screw her first?

Sure. She can be coming

and going at the same time.

What's your poison?

Saucer of milk.

This looks like a cathouse.

Think of it as a kennel.

Consider it thunk.

So...

How much is that doggie

in the window?

Which one?

Lot of mongrels, this place.

The one with the waggedy tail.

l do hope that doggie's

for sale.

Dee dum!

lt's a crummy tune, mister.

But otherwise...

Otherwise?

l'm your fluffy little pooch.

What'd you say?

Okay, so you want to be a dog.

No, no, l just want to sh*t

on the sidewalk.

How much is that doggie

in the window?

The one with the waggley tail.

Hey. l like Patti Page.

But does she like you?

We're in business.

Come on, l got you,

-l got you.

-What are you, new?

Yeah, l been dealing

with you for three months.

Close the blinds.

All right, l'll get

the blinds in a minute

if you'll give me a second.

Close the f***ing blinds!

That f***.

Do you know who l am?

l'm the Singing Detective.

Quote, come on, exclamation mark

come on, comma, b*tch,

exclamation mark,

unquote, he panted...

Come on!

Come on, b*tch!

Oh, yeah, yeah!

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

He panted...

as he drove his...

throbbing... into her...

What the f*** you

trying to do?

Tear me open, what?

ls the water?

What is that?

What is that?

Let go! No!

l don't want

a parrot that talks

l don't want a bowl

of little fishies

He can't take a goldfish

for a walk

How much is that doggie

in the window?

The one with the waggley tail?

How much is that doggie

in the window?

l do hope that doggie's for sale

No...

That's wrong. That's my...

She's my...

Woman love, hey, hey, hey

Hey, woman love,

hey, hey, hey

Hey, woman love,

hey, hey, hey

Hey, woman love,

hey, hey, hey

Hey, woman love,

hey, hey, hey

Well, l went to my doctor

not so long ago

A-walkin' in a circle

and moanin' low

He looked at me and said,

''Good Lord above, son

You need a vaccination

of a-woman love''

You are... Mr...?

Dark.

Daniel Dark.

Very inflamed.

How are you feeling today?

Extensive lesions.

Temperature through the roof.

Difficult case.

We moved him to a private

room after several

disruptive outbursts.

How long have you had

psoriatic arthropathy...?

''Ow wrong?''

Since Pearl Harbor.

26 years.

And do you have

much movement

-in your joints?

-Not very...

Hydrocortisone injections

all major joints

including the toes.

And the history?

-Oh, initially, coal tar.

-Right.

-Then gold injections.

-Mm-hmm.

Butazolodin, lndomethocine.

Not successful.

The courses Prednisone,

Prednisolone,

lengthening.

PUVA, not successful.

Then Methotrexate

after positive liver biopsies.

Oh, well, then, excuse me.

Much nausea?

Do you, uh, vomit, yes, mm?

Y-yeah...

lnduced neutrophenia.

Wart-like lesions.

Removed.

Withdrawn.

You're, uh...

he's hyper...

You're hyperventilating.

Um, are you experiencing some

kind of visual dislocations?

-Mind tripping?

-l think...

Oh, yesterday he said

there was a dog in the bed,

uh, chewing his ankles.

Okay, things are not good here.

Um, how do you feel about

Mr...

Dark, how would you feel about

one of the new Retinoids?

Hmm?

lt... it-it wasn't my ankles.

lt was chewing my balls.

l see.

But what l'm asking you is if

you understand the question...

No! l don't!

Because l have regressed into

the pathetic condition

of total dependency, Doc.

ln short,

and in the vernacular,

l'm a f***ing kid again.

The last time l had

to endure anything

this demeaning

was in my baby-buggy.

l was drooled over

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