The Shaggy D.A.

[Announcer] Introducing

our next District Attorney!

[Man] (music) Friends,

I wanna talk about politics

(music) Now let me make this perfectly clear

(music) I'm gonna throw out all those

Shabby old tricks for this election year

(music) I'm the one who'll set you straight

Let the past be water through the gate

(music) An up-and-comin' grassroots candidate

And I'm runnin' for the shaggy D.A.

[Applause, cheering]

[Music continues]

(music) Now you all know we got problems here

And I wanna be the one to say

(music) Not one of them's just gonna disappear

Come next election day

(music) Unless you help me enforce our laws

Kiss those babies, shake those paws

(music) I'm the shaggiest candidate

You ever saw

(music) And I'm runnin' for the shaggy D.A.

[Applause, cheering]

[Music continues]

[Chorus] (music) So let's all stand together

Put our hometown on the mend

(music) Buddy, can't you see here's a chance

To be man's best friend

(music) He's just who we need

Let's help him lead the way

(music) So come on and elect him

Our shaggy D.A.

[Applause, cheering]

[Music continues]

(music) Let's talk about

The candidate's attributes

(music) I'm a gentleman through and through

(music) Nothin' 'bout myself slick or cute

My interests lie with you

(music) I'm a politician that you can trust

Let's sweep out City Hall's old dust

(music) If you want clean government

I'm a must

(music) I'm runnin' for the shaggy D.A.

[Applause, cheering]

(music) Now I don't wanna get long-winded here

I've just about had my say

(music) Every one of you's gonna get a chance

At the polls on election day

(music) I'll leave you with this final word

Considerin' knowledge you've incurred

(music) Countin' on your vote now you've heard

I'm runnin' for the shaggy D.A.

[Music continues]

(music) So let's all stand together

Put our hometown on the mend

(music) Buddy, can't you see here's a chance

To be man's best friend

(music) He's just who we need

Let's help him lead the way

(music) So come on and elect him our shaggy

(music) We gotta elect him our shaggy

(music) Come on and elect him

Our shaggy D.A.

In the corner.

- Yeah.

- That about it?

- Gonna have to be.

- Let's go.

Avast there. Lay to for awhile, men,

and hoist one.

Oh, uh, thanks, Captain.

Admiral Gordon C. Brenner, retired.

Don't make a practice

of drinking with dock wallopers,

but you've been dry-pulling

for six hours now. You've earned it.

So, the Daniels are really

weighing anchor after all these years.

I guess so, yeah.

Fine neighbors.

Nice people to lay alongside of.

Well, I guess it's time

to get rollin', huh, Freddie?

Yeah. Thanks for the beer, Admiral.

I'll escort you out.

[Admiral] Batten down the hatches.

Prepare to get under way.

All stop there.

Weigh anchor.

[Pop music plays]

Brian, will you shut that thing off

before you deafen yourself?

What?

Shut that thing off!

Now what am I supposed to do?

Just sit there.

We're almost home.

Pop, bet you a quarter you don't know

how many eyes a fly has.

Right, I don't.

I'm a lawyer, not an entomologist.

- Just guess.

- Two.

Wrong. They have thousands of

six-sided facets, each an eye in itself.

You owe me a quarter.

[Laughs]

Well, thank you for the coat.

Thank you for the golf.

How long do you think the longest

apple peel in the world was?

- Oh, Brian, please.

- Just guess.

- Five feet.

- Wrong. Pop?

How could I know?

How could I possibly know?

Well, say something, Pop!

We've been robbed.

Hello, Wilby.

Can I use your phone?

We've been robbed.

Is that so? Well, I hope you'll have

smooth sailing on your new job.

Robbed?

Wiped out. Cleaned.

Didn't you see anybody?

- Well, just the movers.

- This is Wilby Daniels...

Daniels.

My house has been robbed.

I'm working one call now;

there's two on hold.

Can you call back

when we're not so busy?

Call back?

My house has been robbed!

Don't act like the sky's

fallen in on you.

Those things happen.

Hold the line.

Movers, huh?

They seemed like nice fellas.

I even gave 'em a beer.

Medfield's being ripped off.

You know why?

When a thief is caught,

he's back on the street the next day

doing business as usual.

Know whose doorstep I lay that at?

Honest John Slade,

our district attorney.

If I were D.A., I would prosecute

every indicted criminal

to the fullest extent of the law,

and get convictions!

[Applause]

And I will now come down off my soapbox.

No, don't.

Why don't you run for D.A.?

No, I'm serious, Wilby.

Good idea.

If it weren't for my practice,

I just might.

Your partner can run it,

I'll manage your campaign.

- You'd be my campaign manager?

- Well, sure.

My talents are not just limited

to eggs over easy.

Yeah, and I'll paste your face

all over town, Dad.

And I'll be your fund-raising chairman.

You can't fight a campaign

without money.

And I'll start the ball rolling

right now with a quarter.

Whoa. Now, I appreciate your

good intentions and your generosity,

but let's get serious

and see what they left, OK?

- They left one of my gym socks.

- Yeah.

Well, if you would rather curse

the darkness than light a candle,

of course that's up to you.

- [Car door closes]

- [Car starts]

- [Dog barks]

- [Car drives away]

They hit us again.

They've stripped us

right down to the bone.

Belay that!

Wilby, what on earth has happened?

This is Wilby Daniels,

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