The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Not so fast!

You're driving too fast!

What are you driving so fast for?

You were up to 35.

You know I don't like to go over 30!

You're always doing something else and

having your mind on something else.

- I'm sorry, Mother.

- You haven't heard a word I said.

- Yes, I have.

- What did I say?

You said I was up to 35,

and you didn't like me to go over 30.

Not that. I said we're going

to have it in a church.

- Have what, Mother?

- The wedding!

- Oh.

- See? You weren't listening.

Red light, Walter.

That reminds me.

Bring me home some soap chips.

I like the Sea Drift brand.

They don't make you sneeze.

Go ahead, Walter.

Now don't forget the name: Sea Drift.

Somewhere off the South China coast,

in the worst typhoon in 40 years...

the little schooner, India Queen,

plowed through an ocean gone mad.

Straining pumps went

ta-pocketa, ta-pocketa.

Up on deck, Captain Walter Mitty

stood at the helm...

fighting courageously from keeping

this tortured vessel...

from being smashed to bits.

What are you doing here?

Get below!

Can't I help? You haven't had

your clothes off in three days!

Somebody's gotta get

the India Queen through.

There's half a million dollars

of rare spices aboard this ship!

I promised your father

I'd get it through.

Captain Mitty, you're hurt!

It's nothing!

Just a broken arm!

Walter! Watch out!

I'm sorry.

Did you write down all the things

I told you to write down?

- I'll remember them.

- Oh, no, you won't.

You just make a note of it

in your little black book.

Number two thread.

- Snapdragon seeds.

- Wait a minute.

Sock stretchers,

can of Gleamo Floor Wax...

- Gleamo what?

- Gleamo Floor Wax.

Fly spray.

- What's that "SS"?

- Sock stretchers.

- Well, write it out.

- All right.

And cheese grater.

And don't forget to return

this sprinkling can.

I tried it out this morning,

and the holes are too small.

Tell them I have better things to do

than wait for the water to come out.

Bye, darling.

Careful, sweet.

Don't forget the cake!

- What?

- The cake!

Back in the car, please.

Keep that thing in, bud!

"Pierce Publishing Company"

Excuse me.

- Morning.

- Good morning.

Here are those drawings you wanted.

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

Oh, that's pretty, Mr. Grimsby.

Yeah, it's a bit mild.

I think I ought to tear the dress

off her other shoulder.

You could use a little more blood

on the ax.

Well, good morning, everybody.

You think I'd forgotten you?

Here we are.

Now stop, Elmer.

You've had enough already.

Come on. There.

Hey, dream boy.

- The old man's screaming for you.

- Oh! The conference.

Let's see. "Spicy Sea Stories."

Here we are.

"Air Aces."

Hold it!

Raise your hands just a little.

Still!

- Hello, Fred.

- How's it going, Walter?

Fine.

Gentlemen, it will be

the regular practice of the firm till...

Well, Mitty.

So you finally chose to honor us

with your presence.

- Yes, sir.

- Where are the proofs to "Air Aces"?

- Right here, Mr. Pierce. Ready to go.

- Put it to bed.

- Mitty!

- Yes, sir?

What is the meaning of this?

Meaning of what, Mr. Pierce?

You had the vampire killed off...

of the first installment

of "The Lady And The Vampire."

There are 33 issues to go.

- But he isn't really dead.

- What do you mean he isn't dead?

The villagers drove a stake

through his heart!

Anybody knows that kills a vampire!

Yes, but if you read further on you'll

find the stake only went through a lung.

You don't have to worry. He'll be back

sucking blood in the next issue.

Well, sit down.

If you'd been here on time

you'd know why I called this meeting.

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