The Rear Guard
- Year:
- 1976
- 30 min
- 18 Views
Much has been written about
those gallant soldiers of world war II
who met and defeated the enemy.
But there were those who stayed behind
to defend our shores.
They were the men of the civil defence,
to whom this show is dedicated.
Right. Right.
Right.
Right.
Right. Right.
Who were you talking to,
general Eisenhower?
You're close. My wife.
Raskin, sign that radio off, and go out
and call the men to attention, will you?
Why don't you call them to attention,
Rosatti, you're already buttoned up.
Because I'm the commanding officer.
So, are your lips painted on?
Raskin, you are the sergeant,
I am the captain.
To the civilian defence, you're a captain.
But to a captain, are you a captain?
Raskin, you're out of uniform.
In the garment district,
this is the uniform.
Attention!
Alright men, dress
it up, dress it up.
Shoulders back, come on,
come on, look smart.
Look smart? How do you
look smart in this uniform?
Again you're starting with
the uniforms, Crawford?
Raskin, I'm a professional actor.
I'm used to being dressed
in the proper wardrobe.
These uniforms are from the wrong war.
So? You're a professional actor.
Act like it's the right war.
I ain't ashamed of these khakis.
across France in this uniform.
Don't you think it's time
you had it cleaned?
Alright, now look men.
The army ain't got enough uniforms
go around for the real soldiers.
So we're just going to have to make do.
made do on Kirby's uniform.
Now as you men know, father Fitzgerald
is doing his part for the war effort
by allowing us to use
this hall in the church.
Except on Fridays when they play bingo.
So I don't want anybody
throwing cigar butts down the john.
Even if you're catholic.
- Oh captain Rosatti?
- Marsha?
You guys are supposed to be at attention.
Snap snap. Shoulders back!
Not you, Marsha,
don't make it any worse!
- Mr Wagner, the new volunteer is here.
- Ah good, send him in.
Now you guys look sharp for the
new man, he's a war veteran.
Bert Wagner reporting for duty, sir.
That's by you a war veteran?
This uniform looks like it's from
He's two wars behind.
I rode up San Juan Hill with
Teddy Roosevelt. Charge!
Oh Mr Rosatti, you're
wanted on the phone,
Frank Sanicola from the fishing
pier, he says it's urgent.
Oh thanks Marsha.
Raskin, take over.
Alright, Wagner, standard
formation with the other men.
Can I sit down for a minute? I walked
all the way up here from the bus stop.
- The bus stops right in front
of the church. - That's right.
- Rosatti speaking.
- Rosatti, this is Frank Sanicola,
down at the harbor.
- Yeah, Frank.
Hey look! Now we've just come
back from a fishing trip
and we've picked up a German U-boat
captain and five members of his crew.
- No!
- Yeah!
Their submarine was sunk, and they
were drifting in a rubber dinghy.
Alright Sanicola, keep them
covered, I'll be down to get them.
- Right.
- And save me two pounds of flounder.
- Hello Wood. The battle of the Marne.
- Hey, men, men.
Frank Sanicola's fishing boat
just picked up a German U-boat crew.
- What! - Yeah. And we're going
down to the harbor to get them.
- You mean really?
- Hold it! Hold it, hold it.
Why us? Why not the army?
We'll call the army later.
They're 85 miles away.
We are the only ones who
I'm, I'm not supposed to handle nazis.
I'm, I'm a 4-F.
We are operating as a fighting unit,
we are fighting men.
One of your fighting men is taking his nap.
Alright you guys, line up outside.
Crawford, Henderson,
while we're gone,
I want you to put detonators
in all the handgrenades.
- Yes sir.
- Rosatti, you're out of your mind.
What's the problem,
there's only six of them Germans,
there's twelve of us, we got
them outnumbered two to one.
Can we get better odds?
- Charge!
- Charge!
Well, I'd better be leaving now.
Marsha, if you're going out
with another man,
on this hand grenade.
Don, I told you, I'm on the night
shift at the aircraft plant this week.
Gee, that's terrific. Are there a lot of
women working at your air craft plant?
I'm the only woman on the night shift.
- I try to.
But last month, there was
a 50% rise in accidents,
and nobody knows the reason why.
I can give you two reasons.
Well, I'd better get going.
So long.
Keep 'em flying!
Bobby, bring that box
of detonators over here.
This box is dummy detonators,
Bobby, this outfit isn't trained
to handle live hand grenades.
But we've all seen war pictures!
Gary Cooper just pulls the pin out
with his teeth, and throws it.
Bobby, nobody in this unit
has his own teeth.
We'd be throwing grenades with dentures.
Captain Rosatti said to...
Look, kid! I don't want to the first
4-F to win the purple heart.
Left, right, left, right, left, right...
Left, right, left, right, left, right...
Platoon, halt.
At ease men.
Not you, you Nazis!
They can take their hands down, Raskin.
soft on the Germans.
I was born in Bayonne, New Jersey.
I ain't no Italian, I'm an American.
You can take the boy
out of olive oil,
but you can't take the
olive oil out of the boy.
Krupinski, go get the machine
gun, set it up on that stage
so you got a clear sweep
of this entire hall.
- Right, sir.
- Foster, go get a stepladder.
- Right, sir.
- Wagner.
- Charge!
- Never mind.
Raskin, I want you to
get all these prisoners
middle of the hall.
Achtung! Mach schnell! Mach schnell!
Wow, real Germans!
Just like in the movies!
That one looks like Erich von Stroheim.
Did you put detonators
in the hand grenades?
I can honestly say, sir, that all the
grenades now have detonators in them.
All right, because the army's going
to pick these guys up in a few minutes
and I want to have maximum security!
Captain... Captain...
If you want maximum security,
why don't you cut the
buttons off their pants.
What for?
They can't run very far with their
pants down around their ankles.
You wouldn't dare
do anything of the sort.
The Geneva Convention clearly states
that prisoners of war will not
be put into degrading positions.
One more word, and I'll put
this in a degrading position.
And don't threaten me,
you silly old fool, und call me 'sir'.
- Charge! Why, you...
- That's all right, Wagner.
You get back in the middle of the hall,
and you speak when you're spoken to.
I'm warning you too, Captain.
Foster, bring that ladder over here,
Henderson, get up
there with your gun
so you've got a clear
sweep of the entire hall.
- But Captain Rosatti...
- I gotta go call Colonel Walsh.
Captain Rosatti?
Mr Raskin?
You know I'm afraid of heights.
- This is war, kid.
But I brought a note from my mother.
"I brought a note from my mother..."
Get up the ladder!
Yes sir, yes sir,
we got 'em all right here.
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"The Rear Guard" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_rear_guard_21169>.
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