The Purge: Election Year

My Purge playlist.

I put a lot of thought into it,

especially this final tune

as it will be the last song

you'll ever hear.

Tough choice.

And then I thought, George Clinton!

The king of interplanetary funkmanship.

George's psychedelic rock

will leave you feeling funky, obviously.

And soulful, which is the least I can do.

Now, we played a lot of Purge games tonight,

and we have just one more.

It's simple, yet effective.

It's called "Mommy's Choice."

Mommy, which one of you

will survive this year's Purge?

No! No!

No!

This is just one of a dozen

protests around our capital

after reports emerged claiming

that the New Founding Fathers

had been using the Purge

to help their own economic agenda.

Here's a recent statement

by incendiary Purge detractor Dante Bishop.

For the past 20 years,

the NFFA has taken to legalized murder

to decrease the poor population,

which in turn keeps

the government's spending down.

Less welfare, less healthcare, less housing.

Recent polling suggests that

the growing anti-Purge sentiment

may have a monumental effect

on the upcoming presidential election.

Establishment NFFA candidate

Minister Edwidge Owens

has been losing ground to wildcard

Independent candidate Senator Charlie Roan.

Eighteen years ago, Roan was forced to

watch the brutal execution

of her entire family on Purge Night

and entered the political arena soon

after with one goal in mind.

To put an end to the annual holiday.

I have no doubt that the soul

of our country is at stake.

The Purge has to come to an end.

Senator Roan is proving to be

the greatest threat to the NFFA regime

since they first took office 25 years ago...

Is the c*nt that close?

All polls have her a point behind.

I'm sorry, Caleb, I've done...

No sorrys, Minister,

you're doing a great job.

Let us put you where you need to be.

Thomas.

We have our people out there

countering all this anti-NFFA bullshit.

What else can we do?

We do whatever it f***ing takes!

I have had it with all these

idealistic pigs.

They want the impossible. Everyone to have.

Some cannot have.

Not enough to go around.

It's time to do something

about all these cocksuckers,

like that rat Bishop and the c*nt Senator

trying to dismantle everything we've built.

We are going to use this year's Purge

to do some spring cleaning, gentlemen.

And where will you be spending

Purge Night, Minister?

I will once again be presiding over

my party's Midnight Purge Mass

because I still believe in it.

The Midnight Purge Mass,

where our great NFFA leaders gather

together and slaughter innocents.

Is murder our new religion?

Senator.

Murder is our new religion. That's snappy.

No, the Midnight Purge Mass

where NFFA leaders gather to celebrate

the night that saved this country

from economic ruin.

We have other ways.

Now, America is built upon sacrifice.

From the Revolution all the way

to World War II.

Our Lord God sacrificed his only Son...

Everybody look alive.

Copy. We have eyes on her, boss.

That's why we must sacrifice every year

in order to rid ourselves of hatred.

Remember what I said. She moves, we move.

Now, the stats are undeniable.

There has been far less crime...

This is crap. Do I have to listen to this?

Send me to the Principal's office.

I can't listen to this anymore.

Okay, we'll send you to the Principal's

office 'cause you can't keep your mouth shut.

More low-income people are killed

during the Purge than anyone else.

The money generated from the Purge lines the

pockets of the NRA and insurance companies.

Don't listen to her!

Any government system

that relies on violence

to answer its problems must be rebooted.

She's doing good, Leo.

It is time to call upon

the better angels of our nature.

He is going to keep lying.

Jesus Christ. There she goes again.

- Secure the audience.

- I'm on it.

I'd like to talk to you guys.

Put a leash on her, Chief.

She's no good to anyone dead.

You got it, Leo.

- Okay. We're on the move.

- Copy, boss.

Thank you very much.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Go sit down. I'm happy to stay here

for the rest of the night.

Stay close to her. Keep it tight.

Go out. Purge and purify. Purge and purify!

Hi. Thank you again.

As she's done many times before,

Senator Roan broke security protocol,

walking off the stage,

stepping into the audience.

Tell you this much,

she got 'em little titties,

but she got some big-ass balls.

She ain't got a snowball's chance

in a steam bath of winning this thing,

but she be taking on them ol' white-haired

George Washington wannabe mofos

all by herself.

And to that, I say bully for her.

Oh, horseshit. She's full of it too.

Nothing'll ever change.

Hey, Laney. Laney, Laney?

I think we've offended

Marcos with our anti-Senator talk.

The Senator's going to win.

She's gonna make real changes too.

You'll see.

All she needs is Florida.

She gets the 29 electoral votes from

Florida, that puts her over 270.

- She can do it.

- Smartass.

All that useless sh*t

and can't butter a damn bagel correctly.

I could butter your bagel, boss.

- Oh, you'd butter my bagel?

- Mmm...

Well, you got jokes over there.

Yeah, you just be careful, kid, with all

that hope, 'cause it can be a bad thing.

Hope can lead to a lot of letdown.

Tell him, Irish I.

Excuse me, what?

I'm not paying attention.

I'm thinking about waffles and p*ssy.

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