The Promotion

Synopsis: At 33, Doug Stauber is ready for a promotion. He's married, wants to buy a house, and is assistant manager at a Chicago supermarket that's building a new store in his neighborhood. His boss tells him he's a shoo-in to manage the new store, then, a rival appears - Richard Wehlner, transferred from Canada. Richard has a deeper resume than Doug, is really nice, has a wife and daughter, and wants the promotion to manager too. How should Doug behave toward Richard - as a friend, a colleague, a competitor, or an enemy? Richard, it seems, has demons and a past, but with the help of motivational tapes, he's resolved to succeed. Corporate and personal tests await the two men.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Steve Conrad
Production: Weinstein Company
Rotten Tomatoes:
86 min

Hi. I'm Doug Stauber.

I'm an assistant manager

at Donaldson's Grocery...

where customers come first-

even customers who are nuts.

- Mr. Stauber.

- Can I help you?

This guy had some complaint

about the cracker Teddy Grahams...

a honey graham snack.

- Okay.

- He spoke some other kind oflanguage.

"Lerhman torsh. "

That's not Spanish, bro.

I don't know what that is.

Okay, "Lerhman. "

Let's go. Sorry.

Oh, no.

Lerhman, man,

I don't know, Lerhman. I don't-

- Holy shit!

- At Donaldson's...

the assistant manager

deals with customer complaints.

What the hell?

It's myjob to keep a lid on this place.

It's kind ofhard.

I mean, it's not like I have a crack staff.

Outside, we have a gang problem. And we

have two 14-year-old security guards...

who stand as far away from the store

as they possibly can.

And at the end of the day,

I get reviews from customers...

whose feedback is important to us.

I returned to the lot from the

grocery and found three black guys...

sitting on my car eating snacks.

They finally left, but called me

names and words like "tasty"...

and "lick"and "titties. "

I have to turn these cards

over to our actual manager...

who's usually on his way back

from a movie.

- What's up?

- Hey.

- New cards?

- Yeah.

Good ones?

That's good.

"Lick. " "Titties. "

I'm gonna take off.

So myjob has challenges.

So I'm not smiling here

because I'm actually happy.

I'm smiling because

I'm pretty sure my manager-

who probably is actually happy-

expected me to...

and I want to advance

and have a good career.

I'm supporting the orbital bone

with my right hand...

and the other hand

is right in her chest cavity, you know?

I'm manually massaging her heart now.

I thought she was going to die.

- How'd you get her back?

- Instinct.

- Hey, Jen.

- Hey, Doug. You remember Mark Timms.

- Yeah. Hi.

- Hi.

We were just talking about how Mark

saved a two-year-old girl's life.

Good job.

- Oh. Tell Mark about "Teddy Grahams. "

- That's all right.

- It's hilarious.

- What?

- This Teddy Grahams "snack slap" thing.

- Oh, snack slap?

- He got in this little slap fight.

- What happened? Tell me.

- Tell him.

- That's ok- No.

No, come on, man.

I want to know. Come on, guy.

And I'm asked to share my graham cracker

slap stories with my wife's boss...

- who never remembers my name.

- All right.

And my name's on my shirt. Right side.

Just the first name though. I tried to put

"Mr. Stauber"on it, but I got reprimanded.

Big deal. He saved an infant.

That's great.

- If I had infant-saving training,

I could probably do it. - Okay.

Some days, I didn't think

anyone would call me "mister. "

I'djust be "Doug"... for good.

You're a shoo-in, dude.

- Seriously?

- Seriously.

Hey, do you know where the expression

"shoo-in" comes from?


The Romans used to-

I'm the shoo-in- the leading shoo-in.


- Oh, you're the leading shoo-in.

- Yeah, totally.

Come here, you sweaty bastard.

You sweaty shoo-in.

- I'm really sweaty.

- I don't care. Come here.

Oh, Jesus! You stink.

- I'll take a shower.

- It's okay.

- Hey, guy, can you just give us a break?

One night?

My partner's coming over.

- I'm supposed to have this piece prepared.

- Man, we're trying to...

have dinner.

I thought you were makin'out. "All sweaty. "

Compromise. I'll do scales.

- Is it still for sale?

- Yeah.

We should go get that house. This week.

Because I'm gonna get that job,

and I feel really good about things.

Me too.

Maybe we should wait though.

I'm a shoo-in. And someone's

gonna snag that house. Let's do it.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Український (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this The Promotion script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"The Promotion" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 5 Apr. 2020. <>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

The Promotion

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.