The Owl House

Season #1 Episode #3: I Was a Teenage Abomination

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[Open the sun, panning down to show Luz, Eda, and King standing on a beach.]

Eda:
Well, Luz! [elbows her] Did you ever in your life think you'd see something as breathtaking as this?

[She gestures to the corpse of a trash slug that towers over them. It's surrounded by trash and muck. Flies audibly buzz around the corpse.]

Luz:
[shaking her head] I don't like this. [plugs her nose]

Eda:
[walks to the trash slug] Yes, it doesn't get much more inspiring than the trash slug. It makes a home, a life from what others have thrown by the wayside. [pulls a rubber chicken from the trash slug's mouth] Until, blam, it gets blasted by a wave one day and croaks from all the salt. And then we get to sell the stuff it ate. [pulls out a pickaxe]

Luz:
Please don't make me.

King:
[walking away] Aw, come on, Luz. [unfurls a towel] It's not every day you get to go to the dump and pick apart a garbage carcass.

Eda:
Ah, nuts to you both.

[Eda swings the pick at the trash slug.]

Luz:
So, Eda...

[Glass shatters]

Luz:
What if we tried some new lessons for my apprenticeship? Like...

[Something crashes]

Luz:
Read ancient scrolls or mix together potions, or‐

Eda:
[while tossing things from the trash slug's mouth] Ugh. That sounds like a bunch of magic school stuff.

Luz:
Wait. Is there a magic school here? Like, winding towers, cute uniforms, dark plots that threaten your life kind of magic school?

Eda:
Mm‐hmm. What's worse, they force you to learn magic the "proper" way. But magic isn't proper. It's wild and unpredictable. And that's why it's so beautiful. I didn't finish school, and look at me! Who wouldn't envy where I am right now?

[Flies are flying around the pile of trash Eda is currently standing in. Luz's expression falls.]

Eda:
Uh... Hey, here's a lesson. [drops her pick] A great witch is resourceful, [sticks Luz's hand in a puddle of trash slug bile] like this.

[Eda drags Luz's hand back and forth before letting go. Luz continues digging until she pulls something out.]

Luz:
Oh, hey. Greasy slime ball.

Eda:
[closes Luz's hands around the slime ball] Use your slime ball wisely, young witch. [stands and heads back for the trash slug] Back at it! We'll hit the stink nodes first.

Luz:
Actually, if it's okay, [starts backing away] I think I'll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still... alive. Love you, King. [pets his belly]

King:
[giggles]

Luz:
You little beach peach. [continues walking into the woods]

King:
[sighs]

Eda:
[shrugs] More for me, then.

[She climbs into the trash slug, sending several things clattering.]

Eda:
There we go. Okay.

[She tosses out a cheese grater, an electric fan, and a tuba, the last of which lands on King's head.]

King:
Ow! [struggles to free himself]

Eda:
This is awesome!

[THEME]

[A monster that looks very distantly related to a butterfly flies across the woods, panting. Luz walks down the path, glaring at the slime ball.]

Luz:
Ugh! If magic's all about digging for slime balls, maybe I don't have the stomach for it. [pockets the slime ball]

Girl's voice:
You can do it! You can!

Luz:
[looks around] Mysterious voice of encouragement? [looks through bushes and gasps] No! Little witch girl.

Girl:
[stands to pace around] You can do it. Even if you get a bad grade, it's not a reflection of you as a witch. And my parents are right. [stops pacing] There are better opportunities on this track. Now, get to school! [steps forward and points confidently, but gets sad when she realizes she stepped on a flower] Oh, no! Oh, little friend! I'm sorry!

[She kneels down and repeatedly traces a spell circle. The flower perks back up and fully blooms.]

Luz:
[gasps]

[The girl's ear wiggles as something rumbles off screen. She turns as a wagon, being moved by magic, rolls to a stop in front of her, carrying a pot and a girl reading a book.]

Amity:
[looks away from her book] Willow! Wow. [hops off the pot] You're so unnoticeable I almost rolled into ya. [chuckles]

[The flower that Willow just healed wilts.]

Willow:
Hi, Amity. [stands up]

Amity:
Uh, shouldn't you get to class early to prep your...

[Rattling cuts her off. They turn to Willow's pot as it spills, pouring out a purple substance and an eyeball that blinks and groans.]

Amity:
Oh, Willow. You don't have anything to show, do you?

Luz:
Witch drama!

[Willow pulls up her hood as she blushes.]

Amity:
[sighs] This is why people call you "Half‐a‐Witch Willow."

[rattling]

Amity:
Oh, looks like someone wants to say something to you. [takes the cover off her pot] Abomination, [snaps] rise.

[Her abomination rises, becoming more solid until it's humanoid in shape. It bends out of the pot to poke Willow's forehead, leaving behind mud in a star-shape.]

Abomination:
You're a... star.

Amity:
Aw. It's like mine. [readjusts a star shaped badge that reads "Top Student"] But much smaller and meaningless. As top student, it's my duty to tell you to keep at it. [puts an arm around Willow] Even you could get a passing grade someday. Abomination, cower.

[It groans as it melts back into the pot. Amity replaces the pot lid and takes hold of the cart.]

Amity:
See you in class, superstar.

[Amity walks away. Willow removes her hood. As Amity leaves, Luz sticks her tongue out at her.]

Willow:
"Oh, see you in class, superstar!" [wipes the star from her forehead] I hate when she does that.

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