The Nines

Synopsis: Gary, an actor who plays a cop on television, uses too much lighter fluid when he burns his ex-girlfriend's things, then he drinks and drives, uses crack, and crashes his car. He sobers up in jail and is placed under house arrest and the watchful eye of a publicist, the cheery and tough-minded Margaret. She moves him into the empty house of a writer who's away in Canada on a shoot. Gary meets Sarah, an attractive and seemingly-willing neighbor. His friendship with Margaret blooms and strange things happen: he finds notes he doesn't remember writing, he hears noises, and he seems to bump into himself in the kitchen. Two remaining chapters reveal what's going on.
Director(s): John August
Production: Newmarket
  2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
100 min

sub2srt by (Yeolno)

You sell crack?

No, it's cool. I'm only a cop on TV.

How much... right on.

Is this crack?

You know how to do it?

Yes. Yes, hello.

I'm having a medical situation.

Yeah, okay,

I don't have a belly button.

I do not have a belly button

where I should on my belly,

and I'm concerned

because I don't know if that's...

Can a person live

without a belly button?

'Cause if you think about it,

you're born with one...

and if you don't have one

you're unborn,

and it's really hazy

whether you're alive or not.

I guess I'm wondering... I alive?

Or what if I'm God?

I don't think I need an ambulance,

but I should probably

go to the hospital.

Yeah, I should.

Like you've never done worse!

Okay, yes, he totaled a car,

but it was

an environmentally friendly car.

Why doesn't that

get reported?

He was heartbroken, betrayed.

You say you understand,

but you don't... you can't.

You're like a big, giant Vulcan.

He's coming.

I'll call you later.

Hi. Margaret.

I work for Lola.

- Gary.

- I know.

We need to go out the back.

- Are there reporters out front?

- A few.

Not Hugh Grant level,

more like Robert Downey Jr.

When he broke into that family's house

and slept in the kid's bed.

I handled episodes two

through four for Robert,

so this sort of thing

is my specialty.

Okay, just so it's said,

this house is flammable.

I didn't mean

to burn down my house.

Yeah, and I didn't mean to eat my way

into a ten-year shame spiral,

but I did, and it's healthier

to acknowledge it.

So, this flammable house

belongs to one of Lola's

other fabulous clients,

who is currently shooting

a pilot in Toronto.

- An actor?

- Writer.

So, for the next six weeks,

su casa es su casa.

I say feel free to wear his clothes.

He'll probably get

a sick thrill out of it.

The gays.

He has dogs.

Yeah, they're away at summer camp.

Now, try the bed.

It's fine.

- Comfortable?

- Sure.

Look, Gary, I know this

has been crazy and stressful.

I want you to feel

safe and comfortable.

- I do.

- I'm a fan of yours, you know.

Your number-one fan!

But if you f*** this up,

I will smash your ankles

with a sledgehammer.

And that wouldn't be comfortable

for either one of us.

Nine dogs ran through the field.

The koala sits in the tree.

It's computer voice-recognition.

The parole system can call

you any time, day or night.

If you don't pick up

within five rings,

the police come

and haul your ass off.

What if I'm not here?

That's why they call it

"house arrest."

You stay inside your house.

He can take direction,

I promise.

I'll be coming by twice a day

to check up on you.

I should be

the only person coming by...

no pals, no buddies,

no heroin dealers.

I don't do heroin.

Yeah, crack is classy.

And I'm not buying you porn.

There's spray-per-view

on cable.

Great, 'cause I really

wasn't concerned

about my career,

family, or future.

- I just wanted to jerk off.

- Let me see your phone.

Come on, all my numbers

are in there.

Dial ten digits at random.

Whoever answers will be better

than the people on that phone.

You have my cell number,

you have delivery menus.

You're fine, right?

Bad idea.

Be good!

Keep it.

Someone was trying

to destroy the evidence.

Someone failed.

Once we get these samples

back to the crime lab...

we'll know

who the real killer is.

Somebody there?




Nine leopards

ran through the jungle.

I bought two cakes

at the store.

The house is haunted.

There's a zeitgeist

or some...

Poltergeist, and no.

Maybe they were rats.

L.A.'s teeming with rats.

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John August

John August (born August 4, 1970) is an American screenwriter and film director, and host of the Scriptnotes podcast along with Craig Mazin. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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