The Next Best Thing

Synopsis: A comedy-drama about best friends - one a straight woman, Abbie, the other a gay man, Robert - who decide to have a child together. Five years later, Abbie falls in love with a straight man and wants to move away with her and Robert's little boy Sam, and a nasty custody battle ensues.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): John Schlesinger
Production: Paramount Home Video
  3 wins & 10 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
108 min

To the left.


Open your chest.


- Here you go, boss.

- Thanks.

- Hi.

- I couldn't get a sitter.

It's okay. Go get a mat.

Hi. Hi. Hi.

You wanna do yoga?

A thousand dollars for dirt?

Since when does dirt

cost a thousand dollars?

"Dirt cheap" is an expression,

Mrs Griffiith.

It doesn't apply to a city

built on a desert.

Here you go.

You sit right there.

- Thankyou.

- Thankyou.

Hey, where do you think

you're going?

Mama was queen ofthe mambo

Papa wasking ofthe Congo

Deep down in thejungle

lstartedbangin'my first bongo

- Everymonkey like--

- Hello.

- He's really doing it.

- Who's doing what?

Kevin. He's leaving me.

- Where are you?

- I'm coweringbehinda flowerpot...

in my courtyard.

- How do I stop him?

- Don't, don't, don't stop him.

Just let him go, Abbie.

- My hands are shaking.

- Listen, lthoughtyou were

supposedto be ayoga teacher.

Just pull yourself up by your chakras

and do exactly what I say.

Now, in my opinion, the best defence

is a good pretence....

sojust pretend you're going out.

Justget alldressedup

inyourSundaybest andleave.

- And then what?

- Rush over to my house

and tell me all about it.

- Did I come at a bad time?

- Oh, no, I'm used to it, Kevin.

- You always come before I'm ready.

- I'll come back

for the rest of my stuff later.

No, let'sjust get this over with.

Holler ifyou need any help.

- It's not gonna work this time.

- What's not gonna work?

Your fantastic body.

Then you won't mind

doing up my dress.

- You don't have to stop.

- Yes, I do.

If I don't,

it'll start all over again...

and then it'll end

all over again.

Don't you think there's a chance

we can still work this out?

Look, it's not you, okay? It's me.

I mean, you're-- you're-- you're great.

You know, you're-- you're smart,

you're-- you're-- you're beautiful...

you're a good cook

and you are a great lay.

I'm just-- I'm just not ready,

all right? l-l'm-- I'm not there yet.

- Well, where is "there," Kevin?

- Commitment-wise. You're

way too much for me right now.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying that if I had

less to offeryou, you'd have

more ofa future together?

Okay. You want the truth?

I-l wanna date

less complicated women.

- What?

- I wanna come home

and we'd go out to dinner...

and people come over and talk to me,

and she smiles and she nods, okay?

And then we go home

and we do it...

and she doesn't instruct me

like an air traffiic controller.

- I do not instruct you.

- And in the morning, she understands...

that she's got to leave quickly,

so I can get on with the rest of my day

and I don't have to think about it.

Okay? That's what I want

right now. Simplicity.

No, what you want is a bimbo,

and that's exactly what you deserve.

- Robert was so right about you.

- Do you think I give a sh*t what

that f*ggot thinks about me?

Wait a minute. Kevin.

- Please don't leave me like this.

- Look, I don't love you.

It's over.

Theysaythat falling in love--

I am the only one

who's seen both.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Ethel is and always will be

the defiinitive Annie...

and that bottle-blonde upstart cannot

hold a six-shooter to Merman.

It's true. True!

- Okay, so, uh, one heart.

- Are you bidding? Thankyou. Pass.

- Four clubs.

- Four diamonds, and I

don't mean rhinestones.

Oh, good. Robert's arrived.

Now we can settle this Annie Get

YourGun controversy once and for all.

- Robert, Merman or Hutton? Who reigns?

- I have no idea, you guys.

I'm afraid I flunked

on gay history.

- Pity, Robbie, pity.

- Take a tutorial.

- Silly boys.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Tom Ropelewski

Tom Ropelewski is an American screenwriter, producer and director. He is best known for films Look Who's Talking Now, Loverboy, The Next Best Thing and The Kiss.He is married to screenwriter/producer, Leslie Dixon.In May 2006, The Hollywood Reporter reported that Ropelewski and Evan Katz were hired to write the script for an action film entitled Game Boys for Walt Disney Pictures and Jerry Bruckheimer Films. However, as of June 2018, the project remains in development hell. more…

All Tom Ropelewski scripts | Tom Ropelewski Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "The Next Best Thing" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 7 Dec. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    The Next Best Thing

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.