
The Men Who Stare at Goats
- Boone?
- Yes, General?
I'm going into the next office.
Yes, sir.
Damn it!
My name is Bob Wilton.
I'm a journalist.
Part of my job is finding
where the story begins.
If you were looking at my story,
when I got a job at the
Or you might think it began...
...when I married
my college sweetheart Debora.
But you'd be wrong.
Because the real story of my life
began a few years back,
when my editor sent me
he'd heard on the talk radio show.
The guy claimed to have
some kind of psychic powers.
That he could travel with just his mind
anywhere he wanted.
He called it "Remote Viewing".
The man's name was Gus Lacey.
What have you seen lately?
Lately, I've been watching
the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland.
Thanks, Mom.
Uh, and it turns...
I got it. I got it.
Mom, I got it.
Thank you.
It turns out...
It's the ghost of a dinosaur.
Okay. Wow.
So, when did this all
start for you, Gus?
It started when I was a kid.
Gus told me that
back in the eighties,
he was part of a top-secret unit
that got their training in the army.
In a program sanctioned
by the highest levels of government.
When I asked him what's the purpose
of this unit was, he said:
We were Psychic Spies, mainly.
That was our initial tasking.
Once they realized
what they were sitting on...
We were trained to kill animals.
- What? With...
- With our minds. That is correct.
Just by staring at them.
What kind of animals?
One of our unit's
stopped the heart of a goat.
Power... they unleashed in us.
Last week I killed my hamster.
You wanna see?
There! Look!
You ever seen a hamster
do that before?
- I've never owned a hamster, Gus, so...
- Just look! Look!
See the way it's glaring
at its wheel.
Yeah, I guess our hamster-owning
readers will know what's...
aberrant behavior and what...
what's...
- Oh, shit! Shit! He's down!
- Yeah, he's down.
At this point I'd been staring at him
Bizarre, right?
What is that?
It didn't die.
You said, you killed it?
Yeah, well...
Mom said no.
She said:
"Don't show the hamster dying"
"Show the tape where
the hamster acts bizarre instead. "
You should have seen
the Skipper at work.
- Who's the Skipper?
- Lyn Cassady.
For me, after Bill he was the
most gifted psych I've ever met.
He was like an occultic force.
I think he runs a dance studio now.
dismissed Lacey as a nut.
You know, the little man.
He's the one who says:
"Keep your head down. "
"Stay in your little town,
your little job. "
"You're a lucky guy,
your wife loves you. "
"You have everything you want. "
"You're not looking for
some great adventure. "
"But then, one day...
"The great adventure finds you!"
Ron's sudden death
was the catalyst for everything.
Deborah told me later that
it had been like a wake-up call for her.
What people used to call:
"The memento mori".
Ron's massive coronary
had reminded her that
...life was just too short to
waste any chance of true happiness.
to put everything in perspective.
A week after the funeral...
...she left me for my editor.
It seemed like such a tragedy
at the time.
We couldn't see beyond
our little lives...
...to the great events of history
unfolding out there in the world.
I was like a child or a Hobbit,
safe in the Shire.
Or a blond farm boy
in a distant, desert planet,
...unaware that he was already
taking the first steps on the path...
...that would lead him relentlessly
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Citation
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"The Men Who Stare at Goats" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 28 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_men_who_stare_at_goats_13633>.