The Love Witch

1

- I'm starting a new life.

Up here where it's quiet and

clean among the redwoods.

And almost no one knows me.

Poor Jerry.

I had a nervous breakdown

after he left me.

They say I'm cured now.

But I still have

intrusive thoughts.

My therapist told me that

I'm not unusual at all.

People are abused

all over the world

every day

much worse than me

and they do fine.

- Your tail light's out, miss.

- Oh, thank you for

letting me know.

Are you gonna write me a ticket?

- I'll let ya go this time,

but make sure you get it fixed.

- Thank you, officer.

- You drive safely.

- When Jerry left

me, I devoured everything

I could about how to

get your man back.

According to the experts,

men are very fragile.

They can get crushed down if

you assert yourself in any way.

You have to be very tricky.

- Elaine?

Hi, I'm Trish.

- Hi, Trish, it's

nice to meet you.

- Oh, you're so pretty.

Oh, um, I didn't mean anything.

I'm married and everything.

- No, I didn't think anything.

- Well, let me help

you with your bags.

Is this all you've got?

- For now.

My art supplies are

being shipped over later.

- So you're an artist?

- Yes, I am.

- I'm an interior decorator.

- Oh, really?

- Yes.

That's how I met Barbara.

I decorated this apartment.

It was lucky I

still had the keys.

Barbara didn't exactly

know when she'd be back.

How do you know Barbara?

- We used to dance

together in San Francisco.

- Oh, really?

Well, I hope you

like the apartment.

It's a bit garish but

Barbara wanted it that way.

She had me take all of the

colors from the Thoth tarot deck

and she and her students did

a bunch of occult paintings

for me to hang.

She's into all that Wicca stuff.

Well, this is it.

- Oh, Trish, I love it.

It's just beautiful.

- Really?

Oh, I'm so glad.

I thought I may

have overdone it.

- Oh no, it's exactly my taste.

- You must be exhausted.

I'm sure you want to lie down.

- Actually, I was thinking

about getting a bite to eat.

Do you know of a

place around here?

- There's the

Victorian tea room.

We could go together, if

you don't mind the company.

- Oh, how fantastic.

Where can I freshen up?

- The bedroom is through there.

- I'll only be a moment.

- What a lovely room.

- Yes, isn't it?

I love Victoriana.

- Being here is like being

a Princess in a fairy tale.

- Do you have fairy

Princess fantasies, Elaine?

- Of course.

We may be grown

women, but underneath

we're just little girls

dreaming about being carried off

by a prince on a white horse.

- Yes, I suppose so.

It's ridiculous, isn't it?

- I don't think I've found

my prince charming yet,

but I think I found the formula.

You know, I've been

studying parapsychology

and I understand men so

much better than I used to.

If only I would have known

before what I know now.

Then Jerry would

have never left me.

- Who's Jerry?

- My ex-husband.

The day he left me was

the day that I died.

But then I was

reborn as a witch.

Barbara and Dan brought

me back to life.

They taught me everything I

know about magic and about men.

Men are like children.

They're very easy to please

as long as we give

them what they want.

- Where were we?

Oh, men, you said we need

to give them what they want.

Well, what do men want?

- Just a pretty woman to

love and to take care of them

and to make them feel like a man

and to give them total freedom

in whatever they wanna do or be.

- But what about what we want?

How are we going to

be equals with men

if we keep catering

to all of their needs?

- I think that if you want

love, you have to give love.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote