The Longest Yard

---

...nails Harrison, and drags him

down as if he were gonna hog-tie him, too.

JB Logan helped out.

Anderson's ninth tackle,

he has two behind the line of scrimmage.

Give Harrison four yards to the twenty-six.

Stoney Walker's coming in

and Rufus Middleton is going out,

giving Middleton a breather.

Boy, has he been burning up

a few miles today on stadium turf.

Rufus Middleton. All right,

it's second and six on the twenty-six.

Stoney Walker deployed wide right, Larry

Singer left. The line is set. The snap...

How long do we have to keep

watching this crap?

...tumbled down

on the twenty-three. A quick trap.

He had room to run except

for that man from Jacksonville,

James Washington La Croix,

who made a good, sure, low tackle,

just as Harrison was about to spurt

deep into the secondary.

We've had quite an exciting

ball game this afternoon...

Only a moron could sit and watch

two football games one after the other.

Victorio covers him there.

Singer left.

It's about time Robinson went to Singer.

Harrison and Mancuso

are split behind Robinson.

Robinson gives instead to Harrison,

up the middle again.

He may have the first down,

he's close to the 20-yard line.

Let's see where they mark the ball.

Billy Jacoby and Sonny Anderson

again making the tackle. It's going to be...

Thank God.

That feels so good.

I feel so relaxed.

You know the help is off, Crewe.

The phones are off.

We're all alone.

Let's get it on, honey. Come on.

Honey.

- What?

Wake up, baby. Come on.

You know it'll be good.

You know how good it is.

Come on, Crewe.

Get off me.

Son of a b*tch.

Where are you going?

Splitting.

- Splitting?

You split when I tell you to split,

you All-American son of a b*tch.

Lovely, lovely.

And when you walk out, stay out.

You're too expensive to be useless.

Whore.

That's exactly what you are, a whore.

- I never looked at it that way before.

Everybody's bought you.

Colleges, the pros, your gamblers.

Who bought those

beautiful caps on your teeth,

the clothes you're wearing

and the bloody tan you've got?

Me.

Have I ever neglected to thank you,

Melissa?

You has-been.

Where're your keys?

If I took everything back... Stay away from

my keys. You'd be bare-assed naked.

Where're your goddamn keys?

- Don't touch my keys.

I think the love

has gone out of our relationship.

Bastard.

Don't you take my Maserati.

I earned it.

I told you not to touch my goddamn car.

Police.

Do you have a driver's licence?

- What, are you taking a poll?

Well, look what we got here.

A miniature cop.

Can we see your driver's licence?

What?

Can we see your driver's licence?

See if I can get it out.

It's him all right.

Why'd you dump her car in the Bay?

What?

- Why'd you dump her car in the Bay?

I couldn't find a car wash.

Step away from the bar.

Mister, step away from the bar.

Don't get pushy, cowboy.

Turn it around.

- Come on.

Hold that son of a b*tch.

- Damn.

Now we got you

for stealing a car, drunken driving,

drunk in public and resisting arrest.

Want something else?

- Yeah. I'm going to make you taller.

OK, men, let's go.

Good afternoon.

Where are you from?

Palm Beach County.

- Thank you, sir. Second door down.

This way, men.

They gave you $10,000

for shaving off your moustache on TV?

How about giving me $5,000 worth?

Coming right off: there's about

twenty-five hundred, three thousand,

four thousand coming up,

five thousand.

Anything else, sir?

- That's it.

Warden Hazen thinks

you're pretty hot stuff.

But I'm Captain Knauer.

I'm going to spell

things out for you. I run this prison.

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