The Long, Long Trailer


Tacy! Tacy, open the door!

Tacy! It's me, Nicky! Are you here?



Tacy! Ta...

Are you the manager?

- Why, no. The manager...

- Where is he? Do you know?

Well, that's hard to say.

It seems a little girl in one of the trailers

lost her cat.

He's out trying to find it.

Is there anything I can do?

- No, I'm looking for some people.

- You'd better wait inside.

You won't miss anyone.

They've all got to pass right here.

It's real rainy, isn't it?


Like this to read? I get a great kick

out of these trailer magazines.

- Don't let me disturb you.

- Oh, that's all right.

You a trailerite?

- Yeah.

- Looks like I'm gonna be one too.

I had a time persuading my wife.

She was dead set against it.

Says it's too late in life

for us to start being gypsies.

But we've been looking

at one tonight.

A young lady wants to sell.

And I think it's done the trick.

The two of them

are back at the house now...

...measuring will the Deepfreeze fit in.

You know, my wife won't move

without that Deepfreeze.

Say, what kind of a motor

is the New Moon?

- Would you know?

- Rig.

You want to sound like an old-timer,

you call it a rig.

- Rig?

- The New Moon's fine.

Well, this one's practically new.

The young lady said it's only gone

some 7000 miles.

- Is that so?

- She feels terrible about selling it...

...but her plans changed.

She has to go back to her family.

- You been married long?

- Thirty-one years.

You get along all right?

No fights? No battles?

- Why, no.

- Then don't buy a trailer.

I'm telling you, don't buy a trailer.

That young lady with the trailer,

that's my wife.

My wife! I've been looking for her

for three days.

I've been to the police,

I've been to the highway patrol.

I must've gone to a hundred trailer

parks. Everything I own is in that trailer.

I haven't got a clean shirt.

I haven't got a change of clothes.

That's what can happen

when you buy a trailer.

I'm telling you, it's a fine thing...

...when you come home to your home,

and your home is gone.

If you told me two months ago

that I'd be fool enough to buy a trailer...

...I would have told you

you were crazy.

Absolutely out of your mind.

They were a joke to me.

A great big joke!

A trailer!

Oh, Tacy.

Oh, that's very funny, honey.

The Collinis are home.

Please drop in for cocktails.

You'll find us someplace

along the Lincoln Highway.

Or better yet, stay where you are.

We'll bring our house to you.

Hey, you know, you could get a

tambourine and I'll get a dancing bear...

...and we could clean up.

Honey, you're crying.

Did I say something wrong?

Did I say something to offend you?

No. I don't blame you for laughing.

It's a ridiculous idea.

But then I guess

I'm pretty ridiculous myself.

Thank heaven you found it out...

...before you made

the horrible mistake of marrying me.

Oh, honey, what on earth

are you talking about?

I'm just a figure of fun, a clown.

Oh, now, sweetheart, let's get this thing

straightened out right now.

Now, look at me, Tacy.

I wouldn't make fun of you, ever.

I'm the fellow who loves you, remember?

What is this about a trailer?

You mean,

you were seriously thinking of...

All I was thinking of

was making a home for my husband.

A little place we could call our own

where I could take care of him...

...cook for him

and make him comfortable.

If that's a horrible offense...

...if that makes me a criminal,

then I'm terribly sorry.

I apologize. I withdraw the whole idea.

Honey, can we talk this over calmly?

We'll have a home, darling.

What kind of a home when

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Albert Hackett

Albert Maurice Hackett (February 16, 1900 – March 16, 1995) was an American dramatist and screenwriter most noted for his collaborations with his partner and wife Frances Goodrich. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"The Long, Long Trailer" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 7 Aug. 2020. <>.

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