The Last Man

Synopsis: Apocalyptic comedy finds a socially-challenged grad school student as one of the last two men on Earth with a beautiful woman. However, the other remaining man is his superior in every sense.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Harry Ralston
  2 wins & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.4
Metacritic:
32
R
Year:
2000
95 min
4 Views

( street activity )

( street activity stops )

( alarm goes off )

Man:

Testing, testing. One...

two... three.

Hello.

My name is Alan Gould.

If you're finding this tape,

you're probably a new race

that's gone through our cities

and noticed that everyone's...

dead. Oh.

Except for birds and bees--

things with wings that can fly.

Anyway, you're probably wondering:

"What the hell happened?!"

I don't know why I made it,

but I think

I can explain the rest.

Now... technically...

it could have been a lot of things.

A neutron weapon...

some kind of nerve agent.

We had plenty

of that one around.

Or maybe some sort of...

deadly virus

the government was studying.

Truthfully...

I don't know exactly

what happened.

But I do know this:

some f*cker

ruined everything!

Sorry.

But what happened here...

and what happened

since the first time some guy

hit another guy with a rock,

all comes down to the fact

that someone...

didn't get loved.

So they got even.

So you don't think

I'm talking out of my ass--

'cause I'm the last guy--

I think that I have

some insight here.

Up until everything ended,

I was a graduate student

in anthropology.

I studied the Chetabi Indians

of the Brazilian rainforest.

This is them... that's me.

Now, the Chetabi

were very interesting

because they were primitive--

totally primitive.

I mean, seriously,

these people were scared of...

shiny things.

But they were... peaceful.

And they survived as a race

for 4000 years.

Now... what did the Chetabi know,

that we didn't?

The Chetabi understood

that when you became attached,

when you cared

too much for things,

or for people...

that eventually,

you would be crushed...

when you lost them.

This would cause hate...

and envy.

And so, they developed...

Goyen Hai,

the principle of detachment.

And they managed to get over...

needy emotions.

I mean,

that is this guy's wife!

Now, what happened is a crime.

It's a horrible f*cking thing.

'Cause I'm stuck out here,

living in the woods,

'cause it's too depressing

downtown.

My whole life has become

some giant Twilight Zone episode!

You never get a second chance

at certain things.

But it's all right.

I'm okay.

Because, fortunately, having studied

the Chetabi for six years,

two on scholarship,

I think I have mastered detachment.

I definitely got that down.

But I can't let this

happen again.

So, hopefully,

this tape will be a way for me

to pass along

what I've learned...

so you guys don't wind up

killing each other.

Well, that's it.

But I think this will be fun!

- ( turns on siren )

- Woo-hoo!

This is the time

I remember

First day of school

Sweet September

We fell in love

In the summer

I'm still hearing

All the kids whisper...

( paper rustling )

( oven door opening )

( oven door closing )

( beeping )

( rattling )

...Now it seems

Like such a bad dream

Come back, come back,

right back to me

You don't even know, people

What it feels like...

It's amazing how long

this stuff stays fresh.

It's funny, you know?

All this is mine.

I should feel free

to do whatever I want.

What the hell,

it doesn't mean anything.

How are you? It's the midnight show

here at the Last Man Lounge,

and I'm taking requests.

Anybody?

Hello? Hello?

Is this thing on?

I guess it's dead

out there tonight,

so I'll play

one of my favorites.

I hope it's one of yours.

It goes something like this...

( plays Beethoven sonata )

It occurred to me that I let

a few emotions slide yesterday.

But I want you to know

that no matter what,

I will not edit this tape.

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Harry Ralston

Harry Ralston is an American-born screenwriter, director and producer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"The Last Man" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 17 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_last_man_12271>.

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