The Last Detail

Buddusky!

Either of you guys seen Buddusky?

Buddusky!

What?

MAA sent me.

He wants to see you right away.

Tell MAA to go f*** himself.

Well, he said, "Right away."

Come on, Buddusky.

It's your ass if you don't.

Look, maybe your orders came through.

Come on, Buddusky!

It's your ass.

Bullshit.

My ass!

Mulhall!

Master-at-arms wants

to see you right away.

I ain't going on no sh*t detail.

Come on! It's my ass if you don't.

I ain't going on no sh*t detail!

It's your ass too. Come on, Mule.

Maybe your orders came through.

Tell the MAA you couldn't find me.

He knows where you are.

When you're in the Navy

and in transit...

...nobody knows where you are!

Go tell the MAA to f*** himself.

I ain't going on no sh*t detail!

Morning.

You are one lucky son of a b*tch...

...Bad Ass!

You are one lucky son of a b*tch!

Where am I going, Chief?

How come you're so lucky, Buddusky?

You're another lucky son of a b*tch.

You dudes pulled

temporary duty as chasers.

Where to?

Portsmouth Naval Prison.

- Who we taking?

- Seaman.

Used to be.

Meadows, Lawrence M.

Drew eight years and a D. D.

Jesus, what the hell did he do?

Kill the old man?

Come on inside.

Sweek!

Get these old boys some coffee.

All right, Chief.

Who'd he kill, Chief?

Didn't kill nobody. Robbery.

How much did he lift?

Forty dollars.

Forty dollars!

Forty dollars.

You're shitting me!

I wouldn't sh*t you.

You're my favorite turd.

Jesus!

Eight years and a D. D. for $40.

I thought they only pulled that

sh*t in the Army!

You see, he tried...

...to lift the polio contribution box.

Polio box is the old man's old lady's...

...favorite do-gooder project.

She's responsible for all the polio

contributions on the base, you know?

Every year, they give her a plaque.

Along comes Meadows

and fucks over charity.

She took it very seriously.

- Jesus!

- Eight years.

That's very seriously.

You know what I mean?

Good duty for you guys.

Get to go to Washington...

...New York...

...Boston.

I'd trade places with you.

Listen...

...we could get this guy

to Portsmouth in two days.

Less.

They're going to give us a week.

You know what I mean?

So what?

We get there in two days, they won't

give us no week to get back.

Bullshit!

Besides...

...they got to give us

all that per diem, regardless.

That's money for you,

for me and for him.

We run this little shitbird's ass

all the way to the brig...

...save his per diem and ours,

split it and spend it on the way home.

You know what I mean?

Well, let's shag ass!

You're goddamn right!

Okay, Buddusky!

You're the honcho.

Carryall and driver are outside

to take you to the bus.

Here's the keys to the cuffs.

Each of you gets one key.

I want you both to sign

these chits for the pieces.

Here's one clip each.

Now, off the record...

...the old man has a

personal interest in this.

If you f*** up, you know what.

Are you all set, Cochise?

All right, shitbird. On your feet.

They're taking you to Portsmouth.

This is Petty Officer Buddusky.

This is Petty Officer Mulhall.

Yes, sir.

You know why they're chasers?

"Chasers," sir?

Do you know why they are

taking you to the brig?

No, sir.

They're bastards when they want to be,

and they always want to be.

Take my word for it, they aren't

about to take any sh*t from you.

If they do, they'll get reamed out,

and they know it.

- What?!

- Yes, sir!

All right, he's all yours.

It's colder than witch boob,

ain't it?

Coffee?

Let's make it.

Do you have to go to the head?

No, sir.

Be sure now, Meadows, because

from now on, whenever you go...

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